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Part Six
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The drive back to his apartment had been uneventful. There were no cars, no traffic and definitely no assassin sent by Wolfram and Hart like Lindsey had expected. He had sat rigid in the driver’s seat for the first ten minutes of the drive with his fists balled around the steering wheel, but nothing happened.

‘Guess the firm’s spies lost their touch,’ he mused, relieved, as he relaxed his tense jaw and let the tiniest bit of happiness creep onto his expressionless face.

It was hard not to get distracted when he was surrounded by Angel’s scent, mixing with the leather and the salty air as he drove along the shoreline. The sunshine was warm on his face and the gentle breeze brushed his hair back in a way that reminded him of Angel’s running his long finger through his curls during their love-making.

‘No....fucking,’ he corrected himself and unable to stop the frown from forming. Angel’s words still hurt him, labeling the most meaningful night of his life, not counting the time when he fought alongside with the vampire, as nothing but sex.

Despite the potent urge to bury his head in his hands and let the returning tears run free, Lindsey forced his hazy mind to come up with a good excuse which would hopefully save his life and would be reasonable enough for Nathan to believe him.

Even knowing his priorities, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering back to Angel, who had practically begged for him to come back. The action had almost made Lindsey believe the vampire cared for him in some ways. Almost.

Angel had been distant in the morning. Well, the vampire was usually broody and aloof, but he had treated Lindsey like a stranger with the nervousness a person would give to a one-night-stand. Lindsey didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry at the change in attitude from Angel.

Should he rejoice because at least Angel didn’t want him dead? Though it was refreshing to see the vampire not trying to kill him or humiliate him, it wasn’t anything new.

Angel had said so himself when they were on their way to the traveling agency – "I guess it's a lot to carry. I mean, losing Darla - and even me in a way, as a place to focus your rage." Lindsey had ignored the words at the time; cast them off as sarcasm and mockery. But now they had a true ring to them; maybe he had been using Angel as a target for his anger.

What else was he suppose to feel for the man who cut off his right hand when he could have just knocked him unconscious with the handle of the ax? Gratitude? Delight? Love?

Lindsey bit his tongue at the last word and blinked rapidly the moment he felt the tears threatening to break loose and commanded himself to get a grip. Losing control while entering heavy traffic was not the brightest idea, especially when he actually had something to look forward to at the end of day. The first in a long time and a lot of his firsts seemed to happen with Angel.

His first time sleeping with someone because he wanted to instead of jumping into bed with whoever was there. Lindsey wasn’t sure if Angel could tell that it wasn’t his first time with a man. The night with Angel had hurt a lot less than his previous dalliances. The pain was not as acute as when he was with others, soothed by Angel's almost reverent tenderness. In fact, his whole lower body was numb with pleasure.

His first foray into cuddling after sex instead of showering and getting dressed before running like hell away from the motel room, and definitely the first time when he’d felt safe enough to fall asleep without the help of medication, especially in someone else’s presence.

As he stopped for a red light, Lindsey ran his hand over his face, attempting to clear up his blurry vision. A familiar smell filled his nostrils and he instantly recognized it as Angel.

Tangy and a little coppery, which Lindsey suspected the vampire must had wiped his mouth with his sleeve after his meal. He couldn’t contain the smirk forming at the corner of his mouth as he imagined Angel, more than two hundred years old, doing something so childish.

Lindsey cringed when the stabbing pain at his temples intensified when the driver behind him honked loudly, bringing him out of his daze. The hangover had gotten much better after those painkillers Cordelia had given him, but it was still there, unwilling leave him alone, reminding him of the way Angel had brought him to the top then shoved him all the way down without another glance.

The mixed signals given by Angel confused Lindsey. First, Angel wanted him out of his eternal life, then he begged for him not to go this morning. What happened?

Was it some sort of mind game Angel was playing with him? If it were, then the vampire would be sorry when Lindsey found out and plotted revenge, Wolfram and Hart...

Lindsey halted at where his thoughts were going, had he been planning to return to the firm from the beginning? No, he discarded the idea immediately and decided he should just focus on driving.

He made it back to his apartment without further incident. Being cautious, he had valet parked the car at a hotel about three blocks away and walked the rest. It was better to be safe than sorry, even though he wasn’t sure if he was being careful enough. Lindsey couldn’t help but throw frequent glances behind his back as he walked down his hallway with an expression indicating that he was expecting a demon to jump out from the shadows.

The fact that the door to his apartment remained closed after he turned the doorknob in every direction irritated Lindsey. He wasn’t the most patient person in the morning, and the hangover wasn’t helping the matter one bit.

With a curse, he raised his right leg and kicked at the wood at hard as he could. It swung open a bit and it gave in after few more kicks like the previous.

Lindsey let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he slouched down in one of the smaller leather couches which was leaning against the closed apartment door as a temporary lock and security.

However, he leapt from his restful position the moment he saw the numbers on the digital clock on his microwave pointing out that it was fifteen over nine. He rushed down the hall for a quick shower with a speed that could match a vampire's.

About three minutes later, a towel-clad Lindsey emerged from the steamy bathroom. In less than five minutes, the confident new Division Head of Special Projects strode into the living room and pickup his untouched briefcase, then exited the apartment through the cracked door. He made a mental note to himself of to call a repair company as soon as he got to the office as elevator opened with a ding.

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Angel had been sent to a dark corner of the office to brood after repeatedly drifting off into daydreaming while helping Wesley translate ancient text. He was thankful for the peace and quiet in his little space.

Gunn had called in about an hour ago, telling Wesley that he wouldn’t be in until later that afternoon and something about his friend moving and that they needed an extra pair of muscles.

Cordelia was a completely different reason, she had went to a lunch with a potential client. Angel was sure she wouldn’t be back until the sun set, seeing the mall was next to the restaurant where they lunched. Better make that thirty minutes before sunset; she wasn’t that naive to walk around at night.

And that left him about... Checking his watch, it told him that it was fifteen minutes to twelve, Angel realized that left him about seven hours to enjoy the tranquil darkness.

It seemed to be longer than four hours since Lindsey left and Angel needed to think about the new situation between them. Cordelia must have been exaggerating when she told him that he begged for Lindsey to come back and that he threw a fit when the lawyer announced his decision to return to Wolfram and Hart. It must have been an overstatement on her part. There was no way he would ever lower himself, his pride and his self-respect, to plead with an evil lawyer, who was also his enemy, to come back.

"Impossible." Angel nodded sternly as he spoke the word aloud, earning him an odd look from Wesley.

Angel began to question his conclusion five minutes later. His mind simply refused to let the matter go.

It was understandable that Cordelia’s mouth had dropped open; she was always dramatic about smallest details in life, but even Gunn and Wesley? Unwillingly, almost afraid to hear the answer, he turned to Wesley and asked, "Was I begging for Lindsey to stay?"

"Yes," without lifting his head, Wesley answered the affirmative. As if he hadn’t already done enough damage to Angel’s ego, the ex-watcher paused momentarily in his task to add, "desperately."

This time, Angel felt his jaw fall open at the reply and snapped it shut so hard that he was sure he had dislocated it. "I wasn’t begging. I just hated to see my efforts go to waste." But the only response he got was an irritated wave of hand from Wesley and a shushing sound.

"I’ll be upstairs if you need me." As Angel turned to leave the room, he heard something that sounded distinctly like a whispered "Thank God" from Wesley, but he ignored it as he climbed the stairs.

What he should do now was get some rest and restore his strength for the battle he knew would soon arrive.

As Angel let himself fall face first into the soft pillows, he was surrounded with thick aroma of sex and angst. He felt his unbeating heart skip a beat, which was impossible, as his cheek made contact with the tearstains left on the midnight blue pillowcase.

Why was he feeling this way? Did he really care about Lindsey in some way other than saving a lost soul? No, it couldn’t be. Like he said before, it was impossible.

‘Then why were you begging for him to stay instead of going back to Wolfram and Hart?’ Angel lifted up the corners of the pillow and covered his ears with them. He didn’t need that voice right now. However, it seemed determined to continue until the vampire had come up with a reason for his behaviors.

"Look, I just did it because I didn’t want to lose another innocent, another soul I could have saved. End of story, now let me go to sleep." Angel lowered his voice when he realized that he was bellowing out the words.

It was strange how he had to say it out loud, as if he needed to convince himself as well as the damned voice in his head, which had gone silent before the sentence ended. "Impossible," he muttered again as he shifted to a more comfortable position.

"Just upset because I felt like..." Yawn, "my efforts were useless." Satisfied with his own explanations for his actions, Angel closed his eyes and fell into the welcoming arms of sleep.

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Lindsey wasn’t surprised to find a message left for him at the front desk with instruction to his new office on the eleventh floor with his name on the door.

However, he was puzzled to find Nathan sitting in the chair behind the massive oak desk. He hadn’t expected to see his boss in his office during the meeting, which had started almost ten minutes ago.

Lindsey cursed the morning traffic as he put on his sincerest expression and bowed his head slightly before speaking, "Sir."

"Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. What am I to do with you?"

Lindsey didn’t reply, knowing it was a rhetorical question. He was right when Nathan continued.

"Late on your first day as the new executive, not a good impression."

"I’m sorry sir, but the traffic was..." he began to explain while his mind ran through all the pros and cons of revealing his encounter with Angel last night.

Nathan raised a finger, signaling his employee to remain silent. "When we at Wolfram and Hart make a mistake, what do we do?" He didn’t bother to give Lindsey some time to rethink his question. "We fix it, we don’t make excuses."

"I understand, sir." The younger man nodded meekly with his eyes cast to the floor.

"You seem a little distracted, I would hate to think I made a mistake promoting you, Lindsey." Nathan studied Lindsey carefully, something wasn’t in place, but he couldn’t pinpoint the difference in the lawyer.

Lindsey almost laughed at Nathan’s poor attempt of sounding disappointed, but he managed to control his mirth by simply lowering his head until he could almost touch his chest with his chin to hide the slight upturn of his lips.

‘Holland was so much better at it,’ he mused as his boss gave him a forced smile that was meant to be genuine. "I’m sorry, sir, I was having a little celebration last night and..."

"Ah, I see. Well, it’s always a good thing to have fun in life, just don’t lose you head in the process."

The lawyer tensed at the obvious threat and raised his chin to look his boss directly in the eye. "I won’t, sir."

"Good, now as you know, everyone has to follow the rules of the firm." Nathan stood up and strolled toward the door with something in each step that Lindsey classified as arrogance, the type that a person could only have when they held another human being’s life in the palm of their hand.

‘Not for long," Lindsey thought as he put on another blinding smile, disguising his disgust toward his new boss.

"When it was apparent you weren't going to make it on time, I rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow morning. Why don’t you use the time to come up with a new plan for your department? Say, a plan for our good friend, Angel?" And with that, Nathan left as soundlessly as he came.

Lindsey understood the meaning behind his boss’ words – screw up again and you will lose your head, permanently. Judging by his experience at the firm, Lindsey knew what they did to the failures. He had seen it about two nights ago, at the traveling agency.

He was sure there would be more like Brad, people who weren’t lucky enough to be moved to the top of the chains of power at Wolfram and Hart and were left to be devoured by others. He sure as hell wasn’t going to become one of them. He needed to get out, now.

Then why had he taken the promotion if he wanted nothing to do with the firm? Did he do it out of some form of appreciation for the firm who had given him his lost hand back? Did he do it out of fear for his life? Did he do it because he wanted to see Lilah lose?

All of those reasons sounded invalid. Lindsey didn’t have any gratitude toward Wolfram and Hart for restoring his hand since they were the ones who caused him to lose it in the first place.

Lindsey knew he could have gotten away and disappeared without a trace if he really wanted to. He had made some friends and there were demons who owed him and it would be the time to collect the debts.

He couldn’t have cared less about whether Lilah died or not, she was nothing but another minion just like him. Even though he knew it wasn’t the correct attitude to have toward his former co-worker, but what else could he feel for someone who had stabbed him in the back constantly and repeatedly?

‘Nothing last forever,’ he had told her that the morning Nathan announced the evaluation for their department. Lindsey was sure that Nathan already had the person he wanted to keep in mind and the little competition was just for entertainment. "Sick bastard," he grumbled as he sat down in the firm leather chair.

The phrase Angel had spoken during the ride to the agency rang in his ears, "Seems like the more you get, the less you have." And wasn’t that the truth!

Those ten words perfectly described him and his current position. He had everything substantial a man could ever dream of: a nice car, a nice bachelor pad, good job, a more than decent salary with ungodly benefits. But at the same time, he lacked all emotional ties: a family of his own, someone to love him, someone to come home to. He didn’t even have a pet for crying out loud!

But now all that was going to change. Lindsey McDonald was born again, according to Cordelia. He knew he had seen the right path leading toward the light at least twice, but both times he had passed on it.

True, he had taken a tentative step during the Brewer case, only to quickly withdraw his foot the minute he felt it was too hard and required too much effort. It was always easier just to kick back and let others make the final decision.

"You have to make a decision to change, that’s something you do by yourself." Angel’s voice rang in his ears, and Lindsey knew what he had to do now.

He wasn’t going to quit before he began. He was going to change, not because of Angel, not because of his most-likely-will-be unrequited love but only because he had made a decision for the better and for a brighter future.

Angel wasn’t everything in his world, as much as he felt like the vampire was, Lindsey couldn’t base his choice on something unstable. He was doing this for himself, and no one else.

Lindsey would start his new life by finding out who was the woman who shared so much resemblance with Darla. He logged onto Nathan’s account with ease that he could only attribute to having both hands and the fact that Nathan hadn’t changed his password. Soon, he was scanning the text on the screen before him in deep concentration.

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It wasn’t until three hours later when Lindsey rubbed a tired hand over his exhausted eyes and slumped back with a sigh. He had read everything he could get his hands on Alicia Dovane, and every file he could dig up on Montgomery Hospital, the setting of the video.

The name Montgomery wasn’t unfamiliar to the attorney. The family had been one of Wolfram and Hart’s best clients and had donated to charity, something the firm had suggested in order to make a good public appearance.

All seemed normal: a big, wealthy family with a few problems which couldn’t be solve in any ways other than murder. They were also Tayikan demons, which was nothing new to him either.

What had frustrated Lindsey was the fact that the only information he gathered on the young woman was her name and that she was filed under ‘solved obstacle’ with no further details.

The young lawyer exhaled heavily and placed a blank disk into the computer and copied the data he had downloaded along with the rest of the information. As soon as the task was finished, Lindsey inserted another and began to transfer all the case files stored in his hard-drive. He leaned back in contentment as he watched the hourglass being flipped over and the blue bar showing him what percentage of data was copied.

In less than twenty minutes, his briefcase was filled with data that would later serve as ammunition. Before he logged off, Lindsey opened the bottom drawer and took out a black floppy disk. He carefully pushed it into the drive and opened it on his desktop. Lindsey grinned smugly as a group of tiny werewolves filled the screen and began to chew away the files. It was a virus that one of his college buddies had designed during their freshman year, it was meant to be use as a way to delay finals but he had died of a car crash before he could spread the virus. It was the most destructive one Lindsey had seen yet. The virus would eat away all information on the hard drive and the data on any disks they insert.

It would take Wolfram and Hart’s technician at least a week to recover all the lost files, giving him enough time to escape and withdraw money from his bank account without being noticed.

Lindsey was whistling as he walked into the employee parking lot and pulled out into the bright afternoon sunshine in one of the clerk’s car without any interference. His car-jacking skills might been a little rusty, but it worked.

Lindsey had told his secretary that he was out for a late lunch and the lame excuse actually won a sympathetic glance from her. He would feel guilty for lying to her if he hadn’t known she was a Balthic demon, a clan of enlarged imps with x-ray vision, sent to spy on him. He was sure she would report back to Mr. Reed about his departure but also inform that he appeared to be working hard.

Appeared to be. And he was working hard, to destroy Wolfram and Hart. He chuckled lightly as he imagined the shocked look on Nathan’s face when he realized important files were stolen and there was no way of tracking down who took them.

Lindsey stopped by six ATMs on his way back to his apartment; he had taken out as much cash as he could from each one. When he stepped into his living room forty-five minutes later, he was a hundred thousand and some odd dollars richer.

He had left the car he stolen on the corner with the engine on and keys inserted then called a cab back to his apartment on his cell phone. The car would be gone in less than an hour, considering where he left it.

Glancing at the clock, Lindsey had about an hour to pack his clothing, which could be accomplished in twenty-five minutes at most. All he needed was couple pairs of jeans and slacks, some comfortable shirts, boxers and personal items, mainly his guitar.

He was pretty sure that he didn’t need the suits anymore, but he stuffed one into the bag just in case of future need, if Angel would need any legal defense. As soon as Lindsey closed the lid and zipped it up, he grabbed the pair of pants, a long-sleeve polo and a clean set of underwear he had lay out earlier then headed to his bathroom. He needed the scalding water to cleanse himself of the revolting odor of the office.

About five minutes till five, Lindsey McDonald was showered, packed and on his way to Angel’s Investigation in the owner’s car with a duffel bag full of a hundred dollar bills, his guitar case, his laptop and a worn out suitcase.

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Angel was not a happy vampire when he was wrenched away from the blissful darkness by Cordelia’s sharp scream. Concern quickly replaced anger when his groggy mind registered the sound and his body raced down to the lobby.

He felt his eyes bulge when he took in the scene.

Cordelia’s head and shoulders were trapped in the base section of a file cabinet with her denim-clad butt sticking up in air and Gunn was trying to help her by pulling on her waist. Wesley was completely unaware of the situation for he was engrossed in the pile of books and scrolls on the far desk.

And Angel couldn’t help but laugh at the sight until he crouched over in spasms. When he lifted his head, he was the target of some extremely foul language from a very angry Cordelia.

"What happened?" he asked as innocently as he could.

"Dunno, she was like this when I walked in." Gunn shrugged.

"All I heard was a scream for help, then Gunn came in and said he’d take care of it," Wesley said when he was met with Angel’s questioning eyes.

"Help!" The metal walls muffled the request but the desperation was loud and clear.

With a sigh and a smirk, Angel reached over and pulled on the two sides of the barriers until they widened. Cordelia let out a squeal of delight when she carefully backed out of her trap.

"Care to explain?" Wesley didn't bother to hide his amusement.

"I was trying to get my bracelet that had fell behind it," she pointed to the container and the space from the cabinet to the wall and waved her wrist to show that she had retrieved the piece of jewelry, "and rest is apparently public knowledge."

Before Gunn could make any comments, the sound of door opening attracted their attention. Angel couldn’t help by smile brightly when a casually dressed Lindsey walked in the door with a bag and a case on his back and a suitcase and laptop in hand.

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The crew of Angel Investigation gathered in the lobby while Lindsey was upstairs and unpacking. It caused quite a commotion to see the lawyer return.

"Did you find out anything on Glory or the premonition?" Angel interrupted before an argument could break out.

"Nothing, there was some mention of Glory in the scrolls, but I didn’t get to finish thanks to a certain individual." He nodded toward Cordelia. "And nothing on the vision either."

"We are screwed," Gunn stated matter-of-factly.

"No we are not, there’s still one way," Angel said determinedly. "Caritas."

As soon as the name of the club left Angel’s mouth, Cordelia, Gunn and Wesley all turned away and busied themselves with different jobs, avoiding eye contact with Angel.

No one noticed Lindsey, who was observing quietly from the staircase with a grin on his face; it was so obvious that they were afraid of Angel’s singing.

"I think I’ll stay here and try to more information from picture you drew." Wesley held up the paper from Cordelia's latest vision, containing nothing but a few lines that formed an abstract picture. "And I could use a hand."

"I’ll do it," Gunn volunteered before Cordelia could. "Guess you’ll have to go with Angel." He smiled broadly.

"Why me? Lindsey can go with Angel!" Cordelia whined and pointed at Lindsey when she saw him in her peripheral vision, "Why do I have to suffer?" She ignored the wounded look on Angel's face.

"Because we need someone to keep an eye on those two in case they try to kill each other. And you are the one with the best people skills," Wesley reasoned; doing his best to stifled the laughter bubbling inside of him.

"Let’s go, Cordy!" Angel said cheerfully as he grabbed his car keys and signaled Lindsey to follow them.

"I must have done something really terrible in my past life." Cordelia murmured and gave the two men remaining in the lobby her best puppy look, hoping to change their minds, but they just waved happily back to her. She stomped out the door muttering something about karma.

:: Part Seven ::