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Every
15 seconds
a woman
is battered in the United States
by
her husband, boyfriend
or
live- in partner
written by: Lilien A. Kolar
Introduction
The goal of this
paper is to explain the causes, consequences, and the major players of
domestic violence which is increasingly recognized as a serious and widespread
public, moral, legal, and health crisis affecting individuals of all ethnic
and socioeconomic settings. It has been defined as a pattern of coercive
control consisting of physical, psychological and/or sexual assaults against
current or former intimate partners. Batterers also routinely use economic
abuse, isolation, and intimidation to exert power over their partners.
The core of the problem is always an imbalance of power. The abuser learns
that coercion "works," that it's prolific in controlling the relationship
and in fortifying the power imbalance. This paper repeatedly scopes and
refers to the battering of women, since 90%-95% of domestic violence victims
are women, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice
Statistics. However, it also occurs in homosexual relationships, against
children, elders, and men.
Portrait
of Family
Though the culture
of each society is different, all societies need certain institutions to
perform the functions essential to any social life. Thus, all societies
have the institution of the family. The family is seldom restricted to
the basic reproductive function, but its additional functions differ from
society to society. With confidence one can add that the family is a pivotal
and universal social structure and institution. Universal because it appears
in all societies, regardless of its forms and functions. Every person is
or was a member of some family. Various definitions of the family include
special biological, psychological, and social linkages. Biologically everyone
has a father and mother. Psychologically most people identify with someone
they define as parent, grandparent, brother or sister, uncle, or cousin.
Socially most people are members of a group they perceive as "family,"
one in which relationships operate in an atmosphere of acceptance, intimacy,
support, and trust. To most sociologists and anthropologists, the term
family refers to persons related by blood, marriage, or adoption and who
share a common residence. Rules of authority, like most other family organizational
rules, are aligned with gender. Most societies are patriarchal, the men
having the power and authority. In societies such as in the United States,
major legislative attempts, not always successful, have been made to eliminate
by law male domination. In spite of some legal victories, the social norms
continue to extend preferential treatment and authority to the male. The
United States is often considered egalitarian because husbands and wives
make decisions jointly or assume responsibility for different areas. It
has been argued, however, that the United States family system is more
patriarchal than egalitarian, as males more often control income and other
family resources. Ideally, the family is considered a tabernacle, a place
of harmony amidst the discordances of everyday life.
History And Understanding
of Domestic Violence
A historical attitude
reveals the emphasis of the scope of the problem of violence against women.
Throughout the centuries wives were regarded the property and belongings
of their husbands. For example, English common law provided husbands the
license and liberty to beat their wives with any reasonable instrument.
A "reasonable instrument" was subsequently specified as one not thicker
than a man's thumb, thus originated the phrase "rule of thumb." Such laws
were sustained throughout Europe and early America, and it was not until
the late 1800's that a few states revoked this "right". Afterward, even
though the law no longer authorized wife beating it did not proclaim that
such violence was criminal behavior. Therefore, family violence was coined
as "domestic disputes," and such disputes were evaluated as a private matter.
When, and if, law enforcement warranted to the site of a domestic assault,
they only aspired to keep the peace by separating the parties and arbitrating
the dispute. This was the common course of action, rather than arrest of
the offender because domestic assaults were not treated as seriously as
other assaults in our legal and criminal justice system. In fact, until
recently most people thought and visualized crime outside their homes in
the streets in terms of "violent crime," such as muggings, robberies, rape,
and assault-in other words, crime in the street-violent acts performed
by strangers. But, unfortunately more violent crimes occur in the home
than outside its doors, and more violence occurs between family members
than among strangers (Borland 1976; Dobash and Dobash 1978, 1979; Freeman
1979; Martin 1976; Walker 1979). Domestic violence, which is violence among
family members, has only recently become recognized as a serious social
problem by scientists, legislators, educators, medical practitioners, and
some of the general public. However, this recognitions has been overdue.
The incidence of husband-wife violence ever present appears to be on the
rise dramatically. Most abuse is aimed at wives and children, and wife
abuse is measurably more common than husband abuse. It is a fact that wife
abuse has existed since the beginning of civilization and continues still
today. What is obvious is that violence in the family is a historical fact,
but remains a pressing problem.
Until not long ago the subject of domestic violence was not stressed enough, discussed, or dealt with. With the feminist movement, the dark secrets of home life of many women came out and slowly this tragedy surfaced and domestic violence became a nation wide issue. Spouse abuse in America began gaining attention as an important social problem during the 1970's, but in reality it was hardly a new event. Little by little some progress has been made, but in general, not fast enough, and not good enough. Before, our society at large presumed that domestic violence existed only in other countries, due to a different social order and "macho men" syndrome. It is a strong possibility that the violence imposed upon wives in Europe and Mexico was carried over into American culture, but this may simply be and stay only as an assumption; therefore, domestic violence is a world wide problem. Men across the world resume the violence through vicious strength and force as a means to maintain respect and domination over their wives and lovers. Modern society has just begun to take this problem seriously, in what was before accepted as a family discord. Unfortunately, violence against wives, lovers, and children occurs in epidemic proportions. Estimates of the number of battered women have soared as high as half of the female population. According to FBI statistics, women battering is one of the most frequently occurring crimes in the country; a beating takes place every fifteen seconds. Also, domestic violence is not strictly attributed to any ethnic group. Until the laws are changed and the predators are dealt more serious punishment, the domestic violence will remain and will keep on destructing the core of family and social structure. This breeding ground of violence will produce a more violent society because the values, traditions, and behaviors start at home. Domestic violence is the equal opportunity destroyer of female self-esteem, and family pride. The bottom line is that women are being victimized by husbands and boyfriends on every social and economic level. Age, income, race, class, and occupation provide no protection from this domestic curse. Since domestic assaults were not handled seriously like other assaults in our legal system the hint given by society was that violence against family members was permissible behavior, until the passage of Chapter 10.99 RCW which states: "It is the intent of the legislature that the official response to cases of domestic violence shall stress the enforcement of the laws to protect the victim and shall communicate the attitude that violent behavior is not excused or tolerated." However, the frequency of violence continues high. Battering is the major cause of injury to women between ages 15-44, with a woman battered every fifteen seconds. There are least 4 million reported incidents of domestic violence against women every year (Statistic fact sheet from National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.)
Definition of
Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence
as defined by the American Psychological Association (APA, 1996) is: "a
pattern of abusive behaviors including a wide range of physical, sexual,
and psychological maltreatment used by one person in an intimate relationship
against another to gain power unfairly or maintain that person's misuse
of power, control and authority." Abuse is a misuse of power that uses
the bond of intimacy, trust, and dependency to make a partner, man or women,
feel unequal, powerless, and unsafe. If one feels fear one is abused. Other
symptoms include: emotional distress, gynecological disorders, suicidal
tendencies, or anxiety and high avoidance disorders such as agoraphobia.
A primary symptom is depression, which along with all of the symptoms listed
above, is a major threat to health. In short domestic violence is a learned
pattern of behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the
other person. The partners my be married or not married, gay or lesbian,
living together, separated or dating. Examples of domestic violence are:
Power And Control
Power is a relationship
between people in which an individual or group is able to influence the
behavior of other individuals or groups in an intended direction. It is
exerted in three main ways-through force, domination, and manipulation.
Force includes any kind of physical manipulation. Domination is power exerted
by means of command or request, and like the use of force it also involves
a relationship of authority. Manipulation can be exercised regardless of
status, authority, or physical size. Product of the power and control equals
discipline because it creates a performance, and in the case of abuse desired
product is a total submission. One can ask why some men without hesitation
express foul mood and with premeditation inflict fear instead of love.
The answer is that those men think that the fear endures longer than love.
Therefore, power and control escalates, so does the battering.
Profile of Batterers
Although "batterer"
is the more well-known word, most service providers prefer the word "abuser"
because it reflects the reality that most of domestic "violence" actually
consists of non-physical forms of abuse such as, emotional or economic.
So far there is no universal identification of the typical batterer because
anyone can be an abuser. Often, on the exterior, abusers may seem to be
reliable providers, devoting partners and law-abiding citizens, but their
abusive conduct toward their victims can lead to critical or fatal injury.
Both men and women can be abusers, but approximately 97% of all abusers
are men. So far, it is known that abuse occurs when people employ violence
as a fit reaction to strained situations. Instead of identifying and facing
the source of problem, tension or expectation, the abuser selects violence.
What is known is that violence is a learned behavior, and that is passed
from generation to generation as a way to resolve conflict. The majority
of batterers come from abusive homes, and children who grow up in such
homes learn that violence is an effective method of problem solving. One
in two abusers are alcoholic or drug dependent; two in five abusers have
a high level of general hostility; one in three abusers has clinical depression
and does not know it. So far all research concludes that abusers come from
all races and ethnic backgrounds, all professions, and all walks of life.
Also, research suggests that the more powerful the man, the more likely
he is to feel above the law and inflict abuse. Sure, people have conflicts,
but there is a right way and a wrong way to resolve them, and no matter
what the other person does, any type of abuse is the wrong way. Violence
and abuse are choices; therefore, a man can choose to be abusive or choose
to be non-abusive, and no matter how hard a man tries to blame his partner,
there is no excuse or justification for violence. Abuse is about power
and control-not anger. Abusive men tend to have stereotypical views of
masculinity. The belief that men should dominate and control women clouds
their minds. And in this mindset, force is justified to maintain control.
The conventional traits of abusers are they are absolutely self-centered,
self-righteous, they blame other people and almost never take responsibility
for their own actions and failures, and they always find ways to justify
their behavior. Abusers apologize for something only to do it again, and
these apologies are quick fixes rather than long-term solutions.
A profile of
a typical abuser:
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work (sometimes visa versa). Basically has a "Jeckyll/Hyde"
personality.
The somber fact is that even today, in this time and age, most people still see abuse as a private matter between two individuals. Abusers are all-too-happy to keep the notion that a domestic problem has a domestic reason, alive, which allowes them to maintain the abuse behind closed doors, private-where no one will challenge them. The only way abuse will stop is if a community ensures that such behavior will not be tolerated but rather punished. The message should be clear and loud that a decent man should look after his family, and that oppression builds the wrong foundation.
Profile of Battered
Women
Who are the women
who fit the profile of battered women and make frightening statistics?
They are provincial and metropolitan women of all religious, ethnic, racial,
economic, educational settings, and of different ages and lifestyles. There
is no "classic" battered personality. There is no typical profile of the
woman who is, or who will be battered, but only a well-documented syndrome
of what happens once the abuse starts. The battered woman is found throughout
society as domestic violence affects all socioeconomic, cultural, and ethnic
groups. They all bear and experience shame, embarrassment, isolation, repression
of feelings, helplessness, and may be precluded by control and fear from
planning or acting on their own behalf. This is a list of common characteristics
or "hidden messages" given off by an abused woman that may indicate that
she is being controlled, dominated, and physically abused by a partner
with whom she has an intimate relationship
In fact a woman's reasons for staying are a lot more intricate than many frivolous stereotypical labels, or an assumption and statement about her strength of character. Habitually, women fear retaliation or death if they leave their partner because women who leave have a 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay. Also, the victim knows that the criminal justice system is limited to protect them, batterers cannot be kept in detention, until an act of violence is proven. Additionally many women stay to preserve the family and their role as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Abandoning the situation would be a concession of inadequacy for them. Battered women encounter a substantial possibility of losing custody of their children. Even if they leave, in many states, judges are not compelled to consider proof of domestic violence in custody disputes. Many women are financially dependent on their partners. Some surveys indicate that more than 50% of battered women stayed with their batterer due to acknowledging the fact that they could not support themselves and their children. In the first year after an estrangement, a woman's standard of living drops by 73% while man's improves by an average of 42%. Another possibility is that she is unable to extract herself from the situation because she has been, in a sense, brainwashed. The image she has of herself at that point has been virtually destroyed because she was told time and time again how worthless, incapable, and incompetent she is. Her will has been paralyzed and her perception of reality distorted. Even if she could summon the courage to escape, she still may have no idea where to turn or where to find help. She could not bear the thought to be on the street. Unfortunately, her friends and family may be reluctant to offer her any help or shelter because they may fear reprisal from the violent partner if they got involved in her private affair.
Myths and Facts
of Domestic Violence
Popularized stereotypical
myths about domestic violence had precluded people, individuals, and society
in the past from looking closely at domestic violence and taking steps
to redefine, and correct the whole perception of it. Nevertheless, it is
human tendency to cling to the myth rather than to harsh reality. At present,
the legal and social systems have a responsibility to confront and challenge
misperception about domestic violence because such stereotypes may affect
the relief and assistance that can be obtained on behalf of victims. At
a minimum, the public should be informed and educated about the following
myths and facts:
Myth: Domestic violence is rare and does not affect many people.
Fact: Battering is extremely common, anda woman is beaten every 15 seconds. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Report to the nation on Crime and Justice. The Data. Washington DC Office of Justice Program, US Dept. of Justice. Oct 1983).
Myth: Domestic violence occurs only in poor, poorly educated, minority or "dysfunctional" families, and it could never happen to anyone I know.
Fact: There are doctors, ministers, psychologists, cops, attorneys, judges and other professionals who beat their wives. Battering happens in rich, white, educated, and respectable families. About half of the couples in this country experience violence at some time in their relationship.
Myth: Battering is about couples getting into a brawl on Saturday night beating each other up, and totally disrupting the neighborhood.
Fact: In domestic assaults, one partner is beating, intimidating, and terrorizing the other. It's not "mutual combat" or two people in a fistfight. It's one person dominating and controlling the other.
Myth: The problem is not really woman abuse. It is spouse abuse. Women are just as violent as men.
Fact: In approximately 95% of domestic assaults, the man is the perpetrator. This fact makes many of us uncomfortable, but it is no less true because of the discomfort. To end domestic violence, we must scrutinize why is it usually men who are violent in partnerships. We must examine the historic and legal permission that men have been given to be violent in general, and to be violent towards their wives and children specifically.
Myth: When there is violence in the family, all members of the family are participating in the violence, and therefore all must change for the violence to stop.
Fact: Only the perpetrator has the ability to stop the violence. Battering is a behavioral choice. Many women who are battered make numerous attempts to change their behavior in the hope that this will stop the abuse. This does not work. Changes in family members' behavior will not cause or influence the batterer to be non-violent.
Myth: Domestic violence is usually a one-time event, an isolated incident.
Fact: Battering is a pattern, a reign of force and terror. Once violence begins in a relationship, it gets worse and more frequent over a period of time. Battering is not just one physical attack. It is a number of tactics (intimidation, threats, economic deprivation, psychological and sexual abuse) used repeatedly. Physical violence is one of those tactics. Experts have compared methods used by batterers to those used by terrorists to brainwash hostages. This is called the "Stockholm Syndrome."
Myth: Victims of domestic violence never leave their abusers, or if they do, they just get involved in other abusive relationship.
Fact: Most battered women leave their abusers permanently, and despite many obstacles, succeed in building a life free of violence. Almost all battered women leave at least once. The perpetrator dramatically escalates his violence when a woman leaves (or tries to), because it is necessary for him to reassert control and ownership. Battered women are often very active (and far from helpless) on their own behalf. Their efforts often fail because the batterer continues to assault, and institutions refuse to offer protection.
Myth: The community places responsibility for violence where it belongs, on the criminal.
Fact: Most people blame the victim of battering for the crime, some without realizing it. They expect the woman to stop the violence, and repeatedly analyze her motivations for not leaving, rather than scrutinizing why the batterer keeps beating her, and why the community allows it.
Myth: Batterers abuse their partners or spouses because of alcohol or drugs.
Fact: Assailants use drinking as one of many excuses for violence, and as a way of putting responsibility for their violence elsewhere. There is a 50% or higher, correlation between substance abuse and domestic violence, but no casual relationship. Stopping the assailant's drinking will not end the violence. Both problems must be addressed independently.
Myth: Stress causes domestic assault.
Fact: Many people who are under extreme stress do not assault their partners. Assailants who are stressed at work do not attack their co-workers or bosses.
Myth: Men who batter do so because they cannot control themselves or because they have "poor impulse control."
Fact: Men who batter are usually not violent towards anyone but their wives/partners or their children. They can control themselves sufficiently enough to pick a safe target. Men often beat women in parts of their bodies where bruises will not show. Sixty percent of battered women are beaten while they are pregnant, often in the stomach. Many assaults last for hours. Many are planned.
Myth: If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could easily get help from her religious leader.
Fact: Some priests, clergy, and rabbis have been extremely supportive of battered women. Others ignore the abuse, are unsupportive, or actively support the assailant's control of his partner.
Myth: Men who batter are often good fathers, and should have joint custody of their children.
Fact: At least 70% of men who batter their wives, sexually or physically abuse their children. All children suffer from witnessing their father assault their mother.
Myth: If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could just pack up and go somewhere else.
Fact: Battered women considering leaving their assailants are faced with the very real possibility of severe physical damage or even death. Assailants deliberately isolate their partners and deprive them of jobs, of opportunities for acquiring education and job skills. This combined with unequal opportunities for women in general and lack of affordable childcare, make it excruciatingly difficult for women to leave.
Legal abuse
Today, the majority
of American laws are based on English laws. In the early days of America,
the so-called sanctity of the home legally excluded women from protection
under the law until 1895. It was the passage of the Married Women's Property
Act that made the conviction of assault by her husband, grounds for the
woman to obtain divorce. Even with this law in effect, proof was still
required of the wife, which usually was so extreme that only a few women
ever achieved conviction of their batterers. However, the act helped to
drastically change the formerly accepted idea that a wife was the property
of her husband. The groundwork was then laid for twentieth-century legislation
granting married women equal protection under the law as are all other
citizens.
The first shelter for women in America was established in 1866 in Texas. It was privately founded, not legally sponsored. It was set up by Martha White McWhirter who founded the Sanctificationist religious group on the grounds that no woman should be compelled to live with an "unsanctified" or otherwise brutal husband. Women who followed her were attempting to escape from husbands who were batterers and/or alcoholics. McWhirter's band of women worked together, pooled all of their resources and succeeded. McWhirter's home is still standing in Belton, Texas with at least one bullet hole in the front door as a remainder of the bygone era.
Some legislation has been passed to protect women, but most of the enforcement agencies within the legal system still have difficulties coping with the acts of domestic violence. Batterers are still able to hide behind the closed doors of their homes. Women who are the victims of violence and battering are still silenced by undeserved feelings of shame as society and most of their friends self-righteously turn their backs.
Nonetheless, recently, some dramatic changes in the improvement of recourse available for victims of domestic violence have occurred. Throughout history, and until 1970, there was virtually no place a woman could go to escape her battering environment. Today, there are more than twelve hundred service programs, shelters, and advocacy groups existing throughout the United States. Although this number does not include a shelter for every city, county, town or for every battering case, it must be recognized as a giant step forward.
Just in recent years, the law responded to domestic violence more aggressively in many ways. Law enforcement no longer hesitates and avoids the call, but treats it as high-risk. Many states have mandatory arrest laws where there is probable cause of a domestic assault. Further, legislators broaden definitions and create enhanced categories of crimes and sentences if violence was domestic. Streamlined procedures are created to allow victims to obtain civil protection orders and restraining orders. Courts impose "no contact" restraining orders automatically in domestic violence criminal cases, even if the victim opposes it, and often extend it at least until special counseling has been completed. Also, the new law, the federal Violence Against Women Act of 1994, provides federal muscle in domestic cases. However, the law is new many prosecutors and judges are unfamiliar with its provisions, which call for penalties of up twenty years for permanent disfugrement or life-threatening injury and up to a life sentence if the victim dies. Christopher Bailey become the first person convicted under that law. U.S. Attorney Rebeca Betts of the southern district of West Virginia, whose office prosecuted Bailey instructed federal magistrates from across the country on the criminal portions of the Act. Many judicial conferences were scheduled and an education project was financed by the new law. This project to inform and educate the judiciary system was so crucial because judges come to this issue with all the myths and biases that the public brings into a courtroom. Besides the educational component, the new law also makes the protection order valid across state lines for the first time. Here are the key provisions of the Violence Against Women Act, signed into law September 13, 1994:
SETS federal criminal penalties for anyone who crosses state lines to violate a protection order, or to injure a spouse or intimate partner.
REQUIRES states to enforce protection orders issued by other states.
PERMITS federal sentences for repeat offenders to be lengthened up to twice the time otherwise authorized.
CREATES a civil rights remedy for any crime of violence motivated by gender, regardless of whether the person committing the act was charged or convicted.
FORBIDSadmission of victim's past sexual behavior or alleged sexual predisposition in civil or criminal proceeding involving sexual misconduct.
AUTHORIZES $800 million in grants to state and local governments to improve law enforcement, prosecution and victim services in cases of violent crimes against women, including sexual assault and domestic violence.
Conclusion
My main reason for
choosing and studying the aspects of women in domestic violence are quite
personal. I am a survivor of domestic violence and child abuse. Throughout
my research I discovered that whatever was said and exposed, even the gloomiest
aspects and details, was true. Surprise? Not if one experiences this plague
first hand. Oh yes, my family was "perfect," on the outside, but nobody
knew or suspected what was going on once the door and windows were shut.
Another truth is that the victim will never be completely healed, but abuse
eventually will become a bad memory, rather than reality, and this is a
giant step. As a child I had dreamed and fantasized of being an independent
woman someday, free of abuse and the contradictions of a parental figure
who went against fairytale society. My dream became reality. Through the
ordeal of violence that I lived, I became strong, independent, and fearful
of no one because if I survived as a child the horror of physical, mental,
and emotional abuse, I can endure anything. Even though many times I wished
him dead, I cried when I saw him in his casket. I have tried to analyze
why I would feel such emotion. I have come to the conclusion that I cried
for the father he could have been. Unfortunately, I still have nightmares
and when I wake up soaked with sweats and bewildered by fright I realize
that down deep I am still somewhat vulnerable, but then I remember that
my father is not alive, and that becomes my solace.
In the book Anna Karenina on the first page Leo Tolstoy wrote that, "All happy families are like one another; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." With this statement he proffers the problem of seeking to perceive or even comprehend the unhappiness that occurs in so many families that eventually leads to domestic violence in some homes. But the puzzle lingers why some women survive and reclaim their power from abusers, and others die, or continue to live with violent partners. The only explanation that dashes to my mine is that each case is different, therefore, different outcome. This postulation is not a consolation in any way, but simply recognition of individuality and uniqueness of perpetrator and victim, or both.
Although absorbed and learned helplessness sets and keeps the victim on the parallel path of a batterer, the spirit to survive, willpower to overcome, and intelligence should keep them from staying in a predicament which does not make any sense. As a vision to the new millennium with recent improved awareness of acts of violence and legal and social designs to curb the unsuppressed appetite for abuse, it is mandatory that everybody, no matter how little, participate to eliminate this unholy epidemic. Yes, it is a long journey but as always there is a light on the end of a tunnel, the flickering candle, which can lead to taking a risk and reclaiming what was ruthlessly taking away.
I am concluding this paper with the story that I read a long time ago. It is relevant and made perfect sense to salvation, because true victory of our commitment will eventuate when we, one at a time, make a difference by shattering the cycle of violence that guzzles people's lives. "I am reminded of a story that is told of a stranger walking on the beach at noon on a brilliant sunny day. As the tide has receded, a large number of starfish have been stranded on the hot sand, baked by the noonday sun. They surely will not survive until the next tide returns. A young child skitters about the beach gently picking up the starfish and tossing them back into the ocean. As the stranger approaches and notices tens of thousands of starfish on the miles of sandy beach; he stops to ask the child, "How can you possibly think that you are making a difference with the vast number of starfish that are stranded?" The child replies, gently picking up a starfish next to her and showing it to the stranger, "For this one starfish, it makes all the difference in the world."
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