A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

"I just need one copy." 

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked,"What kind of -ese are you ?"

The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." 

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......"

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the Americans and asked what kind of '-key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I ?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?" 

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle.

When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He run towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. the Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".? He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

Lesson: Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents do happen.