Memorial to Tanya Burr, killed 15 September 2002

Memories of Tanya

The first of these memories comes from Trevor Bennett, of Dannevirke, father of Tanya's best friend Anita, whom Tanya adopted as a father figure many years ago. She referred to him as "Trev", with one of her amusing accents (she was also a good mimic of foreign accents) that each of her cats also recognised as being a key part of their own names. Only Anita can mimic those now - which can seem uncanny. Trevor's mother was also a close friend for years of Tanya's No. 1 favourite great aunt, who died in 1999.

Trevor writes:

Tanya, Sweet Memories

Tanya, taken so tragically, leaves a void impossible to fill. We will never understand why, but for me she will never die. The lovely memories will always keep her alive. In the ten years I knew her, I saw her grow from a child of 12 to a lady of 21. Throughout those years she was a frequent visitor to my home as a good friend of my daughter Anita.

Tanya was different. Most kids couldn't care less about the parents of their friends. Not so Tanya. She cared, and quickly became one of the family. Wherever she was here, she always made time for me, and my lounge has many memories of her. Christmas presents given to me over the years - a cat on the hearth, a whistling gnome, an ashtray, a Roman pillar,  a tortoise by the back door - and only the day before she died, two coasters from Harrods (London) and a lovely shirt from Monte Carlo.

This year she became very close. As well as being a very good friend, I looked on her as a daughter. That's how she was.

My happiest and most vivid memories are the recent ones. She turned 21 two days after my daughter. In May I travelled to Rotorua and took both of them out for dinner. Tanya's only complaint was that she couldn't find enough room for pudding. She was determined though. Three hours later she managed an enormous slab of carrot cake laced with cream. In July I spent ten days in the family caravan at Mt. Maunganui. As far as Tanya was concerned, if Trev was at the Mount, then she was going to see him, and she did and spent a full day with me. We walked around the Mount and to Rabbit Island, and toward Papamoa, and spent all day chatting about all manner of things. She was so happy and relaxed around me and I appreciated her company.

Tanya unexpectedly 'snapped' by Trevor late in the day after their walk at Mt. Maunganui on 2 July 2002. He had forgotten taking the photo by the time he had the film developed after Tanya's death, and was very surprised and delighted to find it. He said she looks rather more serious in the photo than she otherwise was that day. However, he had been holding the camera and simply picked it up and took the photo, which was the only sure way of ever getting a photo of Tanya at the best of times!

After the Mount, I travelled to Rotorua for a few days' stay with my son and daughter. Tanya was never far away. I had arranged to take Anita and Tanya for a swim at Waikete Hot Springs, but as Anita didn't finish work until 1:30 pm, there was time to fill. That wasn't hard - a cup of tea at Tanya's flat, then a tour of the lakes before having time at the airport where Anita worked. A pleasant trip to Waiteke and a nice swim broken only by Tanya's loud command: "Hey Trev. Is your tummy scraping the bottom?" as I was attempting to swim a length. My ego was shattered, but that was Tanya. She had a strong sense of humour and we spent much time laughing over her witty teasing and comments.

She travelled to Europe. Naturally she called to see me the day before she left, and arrived again at 6:45 am two days after returning. (Due to jet-lag, we all woke incredibly early for the first few days, then fell asleep about 8:00 pm) - Val)  I cooked her bacon, eggs and tomatoes, which she made short work of. Then we spent two lovely hours reviewing all the photos, souvenirs etc. she had collected. She produced a long shirt she had bought me and left so happy at 9:00 am for Rotorua, where my son and daughter had arranged a welcome home dinner for her. That was Saturday and on Monday I got the news.....

Losing someone so close cannot be described. While she was taken from us, no-one can take the memories. That is what keeps us going.

Tanya - sweet, loving, kind and considerate, with a wonderful smile and a cheeky sense of humour. That is how I remember her. My family and I will always be richer for being able to say: "We were friends of Tanya."

- Trevor Bennett, 6 October 2002

Trevor took most of the photos Anita contributed of Tanya and he decided to add the amusing story associated with this photo of Tanya and Anita on Lake Rotorua:

The Cruise - 16 March 2001

Shortly after Tanya moved to Rotorua, I attended a conference there for three days, staying with Tanya, Anita and Nick who were all flatting together at that stage.

The conference finished at mid-day on 16 March. The girls decided that as Trev would be tired after the conference, a lake cruise would be just the thing. The 'cruise liner' turned out to be the 3-person paddle boat depicted in the photograph above. As I was the guest, I sat in the rear seat where there were no paddles to paddle - thank goodness. The girls were full of confidence at their fitness and saw the trip as posing no problems.

The departure from the shore could be more easily described as a series of uncontrolled collisions between the boat and the pier. Quite a crowd gathered to offer us advice in many languages. I decided that the installation of my sunglasses and cap pulled low was in order. The girls, however, couldn't hide and the redness of their cheeks was not caused by exertion. Finally we broke free and headed out to the buoy which was as far as we were allowed to go. The course out would have made any water-borne cop reach for the breathalyser. But we duly arrived at the turn around point. The girls decided a rest was in order.

The the problems began. Tanya announced she was suffering pains in places she didn't know she had muscles. I very diplomatically pointed out that the distance back to shore was exactly the same distance as the trip out and that pain was proportional to distance covered. That being the case, I pointed out she had a lot to look forward to before we made shore.

Silence reigned. It was peaceful. I was enjoying myself.....

Then a voice from the front announced: "Hey Trev, what say we change places. Paddling on the way home is just what you need after three days at a conference." 

Well, I was not about to get sucked in by such a suggestion. I was the guest you know! The trip back to shore was peaceful, broken only by the puffing and huffing and low moaning of the girls in unison, but actually we made it. The arrival of the pair was so smooth it would have made a Picton ferry captain jealous. We had arrived.

I disembarked to take the photo shown, but for the girls getting out of the boat was a task requiring the last of their energies. Tanya made it to the back of the boat (see photo) while Anita was still praying for strength. However, they eventually made it.

The trip home was very quiet. The only discussion was from the girls who quietly compared notes as to whose backside and legs were the sorest. 

I was relaxed. I'd had a lovely cruise. Such a shame they didn't invite me twice.