By Jess Nevins
[rated PG for language]
Stan Lee Presents : The greatest heroes of the post World War II era...Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty...The Whizzer, Fastest Man Alive...Miss America, Strong and Beautiful Heroine...Sub-Mariner, Prince of Atlantis...and the Human Torch, the fiery android...they are The All-Winners Squad!
What Has Come Before: Three dozen of the Old West's finest and most legendary gunslingers have been summoned together to combat a group of evil Indians who are planning to kill everyone in the West.
The following morning the group met outside Carpenter's saloon. As they were tightening the cinches on their saddles, the Western Kid said to the Sheriff, "Hey, Sheriff, I got a question for ya."
The Sheriff, tying panniers on to his horse Lawman, said, "What's that, West?"
The Western Kid took a bite of hardtack and said, "We're supposed to be helping the folks here, right? So where are they? They done run away when we rode in to town, and I ain't seen hide nor hair of them since. 'Cept for those whores, of course, and for Carpenter. We's gon' be risking our lives for them against these magical redskins, you'd think they'd wanna show their appreciation."
The Sheriff finished packing Lawman and took a sip of coffee and said, "I reckon. 'Course, that might be difficult, seeing as they don't know nothing about it."
This caused some of the others to look at the Sheriff. Tex Morgan said, "How's that, John?"
The Sheriff said, "They don't know why you're here. I reckon they're staying away from you all because they think you're here to raise hell like the old days."
The Western Kid said, "You mean you ain't told them?"
The Sheriff shook his head and with a slightly exasperated expression said, "Look, West, these ain't folks like was here in the old days, the ones who knew about what the Apache and Sioux Rain Men could do. Them folks have died out by now. These folks are their grown-up sons and daughters, and folks who moved out here from back East, looking for a better life than they could get in a city. These are people who ain't never seen magic. Shit, West, Prairie doesn't even believe in magic, and he's one of us. West, you ever seen magic at work - ever run into a Chiricahua Rain Man, or one of them Hopi Clowns?"
Unseen by either the Sheriff or the Western Kid, Arrowhead shuddered and made a protective sign at the Sheriff's words.
The Western Kid said, "Naw, can't say as I have. 'Cept...well, one night I...well, I thought I saw some strange lights in the sky. But magic? Naw."
The Sheriff said, "And you're experienced. Them folks here, they're mostly farmers and ranchers and shopkeepers. If I told them I was going to take on some magic Indians, they'd either laugh at me, think I was crazy, and try to get me replaced, or they'd get all panicky and...well, I think it might, I don't know, shake their faith...make them leave here. I think it'd be bad, anyhow, and I don't think they'd believe me, either."
When the 37 were all saddled and mounted, Whip Wilson said, "John, what's the plan? We ride on the Cheemurzwa and just dry-gulch them?"
The Sheriff shook his head. "Nope. First we're riding up to Walker Lake. That's where Washakie's folks are camped. We're riding with them."
This statement drew a number of looks from the others - some curious, some angry. Reno Jones, fingering a scar along his jawline and remembering a number of unpleasant moments in his life, said, "I ain't sure I'm likin' this none, John."
The Sheriff exhaled with some irritation and said, "Look, Reno, the only reason we know anything about these Cheemurzwa is that Sleeping Rabbit told us about them. He did it as a courtesy to me. The only way I was allowed to get involved with this, and call you all, is if I agreed to follow their lead. Sleeping Rabbit said that if we go ridin' in by ourselves, we'll probably give everything away, and that'll Nebraska whatever chances the Shoshone have of stoppin' them. 'Sides which, Reno, Black Eagle here has much more reason to hate the Shoshone, and she's okay with this."
The Keewazi nodded. She said, "We have warred with the Shoshone since before any of you were here. There is a long debt of blood that the Nemurnuh owe the Shoshone. And that the Nemurnuh owe the Dakota," she said, gesturing at the Red Warrior, who looked impassively at her. "But in this the Shoshone and the Dakota do as Father Sun wills, and so until these Cheemurzwa are killed we will not war on them."
Reno Jones' face was sour, but he said nothing, finally shrugging and saying, "You and Matt are trail bosses on this here drive, John. You lead, I'll follow."
The Sheriff smiled and tipped his hat at Reno Jones. "Knew I could depend on you, Reno. Now - let's ride."
An hour later, as the 37 rode over a forested ridge and Walker Lake became visible, Red Wolf said, "Sheriff."
The Sheriff, and several others near the front of the group, turned in their saddles to look at him; he hadn't spoken in the three days he'd ridden with the others, and he'd been impassive even by Indian standards. The Sheriff said, in Cheyenne, "<Yes, Elder?>"
The corners of Red Wolf's mouth flickered upward momentarily - the equivalent, the Sheriff (and Black Eagle and those present who'd had experience with the Cheyenne) knew, of a broad grin. Red Wolf said, "<I did not know you knew our tongue, Sheriff.>"
The Sheriff smiled and said, "<It was some years ago, Elder. I and my friend the Rawhide Kid rode through your lands looking for the Whirlwind - a white man dressed in red, of great speed. We found him - he was hiding among the Flathead, along with the Mexican outlaw El Gordo. Rawhide and I ended up riding with a dozen of the Dog Soldiers into El Gordo's box canyon.>" Seeing Red Wolf's impassive expression, and correctly reading it as incomprehension, the Sheriff said, "<Rawhide and I rode with Eager Horse, Elder; Rawhide was given the name Short-White-Man-With-Tall-Heart, and I was given the name Maggoty-Meat, because I was white on the outside and Red on the inside.>"
Red Wolf's eyebrows raised fractionally, causing Whip Wilson and Blaze Carson to gape; neither had thought they'd ever see a Cheyenne express himself so openly. Red Wolf said, "<You are Maggoty Meat? It is no wonder you speak so well, then. You had a good teacher. I am pleased you are riding with me, Maggoty Meat.>"
The Sheriff smiled and said, "<I thank you for your words, Elder. You had something to say?>"
Red Wolf pointed at the far end of the lake, several miles away. "<My eyes are not what they once were, Maggoty Meat; do you see smoke?>"
The Sheriff shielded his eyes from the sun and squinted, following Red Wolf's arm. "<I'm afraid I cannot see anything, Elder.> Hey, Gunhawk, you make out smoke over thataway?"
Gunhawk wiped his brow, stood on his saddle, shielded his eyes, and squinted hard, "I...think so. Hard to say, John; could just be haze from the sun."
Black Eagle rode to the front of the group and with a perplexed and slightly worried expression began sniffing the air. Her expression became anxious; she said, "There is Death in the air; Old Man Owl has been here." The other riders exchanged glances; the Prairie Kid was about to laugh when he noticed the other riders loosening their guns in their holsters. The Rawhide Kid, the Outlaw Kid, and the Apache Kid all dismounted and began inspecting the ground. The Rawhide Kid found something and motioned the other two over, and after a quick conference the Rawhide Kid said, "Sheriff, we found something over here."
The riders closest to Rawhide and the others crowded around the three, and the Sheriff dismounted and walked over and knelt beside Rawhide. Rawhide said, "I ain't exactly sure what this is, John but look here. You got footprints here and here; we figure those are Shoshone tracks, they're fresh and they look like Shoshone leather shoe tracks. Over here, though, you got what look like boot prints, and a lot of them, 'cept they're sort of funny shaped, and a mite too round for any boot prints I ever seen. And over here...I don't know what the hell these are. They're too wide and too deep for wagon wheel, and they stop right here. Where'd they come from? And...this set here, and here. It's like snake tracks, 'cept I ain't never heard of a snake a yard wide, much less a group of snakes movin' together like this."
The Outlaw Kid swung on to his horse and said, "Somethin' funny goin' on here, Sheriff. These are Shoshone grounds, and they ain't none too particular 'bout having visitors, but we got tracks of a whole passel of folks, and they're all pointed at the Shoshone camp."
The Sheriff unholstered his rifle from Lawman's saddle, checked for a round in the chamber, and said, "I don't like this. Strap on, folks, I think we might not be the only ones who came to pay their respects to Chief Washakie today." He spurred Lawman into a gallop, and the others followed suit.
A half hour later the clouds of smoke were visible to everyone. An hour after that the 37 masks rode into what was left of the Shoshone camp. All of the 37 were hardened veterans, and none were unfamiliar with death and the results of battle, but all were impressed with the thoroughness of the destruction and slaughter. Matt Slade sent the Rawhide Kid, the Outlaw Kid, the Apace Kid, and Arrowhead - by consensus, the four best trackers among the 37 - out to check the outskirts of the village and to find what they could about the attackers while the Sheriff and the others looked for survivors.
Ten minutes later everyone met the Sheriff in what had been Chief Washakie's teepee. The Sheriff was squatting by the corpses of Washakie, Sleeping Rabbit, and their wives and children. The Sheriff said, "They always dealt straight with me, and Washakie was a damn sight better leader than most white men I've known. This is really too bad."
The Sheriff stood and sighed, suddenly looking his age. "Were the others like this?"
Blaze Carson nodded. "Some had their weapons out, but most died in their tents."
The Rawhide Kid said, "Same tracks we saw before, but heading East, towards the Arc Dome. And those deep and wide ones only go a couple of hundred yards that way before stopping."
The Two-Gun Kid, looking at the shredded and singed cloth of Washakie's tent, muttered, "Like Hawkeye told me about."
The Sheriff looked sharply at him. "What's that, Two-Gun?"
Two-Gun said, with obvious reluctance, "I...uh...knew this feller, once, name of Hawkeye. Friend of mine. He told me about his other feller I knew, who was working on what Hawk called a 'rail gun.' Like a Gatling, only a lot worse. Lookee here, Sheriff; these are like bullet wounds, only if the bullets were harder and a lot faster."
Matt Slade said, "We didn't find any bullets in the bodies, Two-Gun, or any shell casings."
Two-Gun shook his head. "From what I remember, a rail gun'd shoot much smaller things, a lot faster and from a lot farther away - a long ways away, like two miles or more."
Rex Hart snorted derisively and said, "Stop peddlin' fairy tales, bucko. We ain't kids, and this ain't one of those yellow sheets they put you in."
Blaze Carson, with a carefully composed and neutral expression, said, "I know one man who could have made something like this 'rail gun.'"
The others looked at him, and the Sheriff stood and said, "Who's that, Blaze?"
Blaze Carson looked the Sheriff in the eye and said, "Dr. Loveless."
Jaws dropped, eyes widened, faces went pale, men swore, the more religious among the 37 crossed themselves, and Whip Wilson said, "Oh my God."
The Dakota Kid, seeing the reactions around him, said, "Doctor who?"
Several of the others looked at him, fear and anger equally mixed among them. The Gunhawk said, "A dwarf, Dakota, and a very, very bad man."
The Black Rider said, "That sawed-off son of a bitch. Someone should have planted that runt years ago."
The Phantom Rider said, "Many among us have tried, Black Rider."
Red Hawkins said to the Sheriff, "I think we should wire Gordon and West, John. If Loveless is involved they'll want to know."
The Sheriff shook his head and said, "Let's not get carried away with ourselves. Maybe it's Loveless, and maybe it ain't. Either way, we know where the Cheemurzwa are. And that's where we gotta go. I ain't turning yellow now; I got a job to do, and I aims to do it. And it's good night sweet prince to anyone what gets in my way, including Loveless."
The Dakota Kid, still mystified, turned to Arizona Annie and said, "So who is this Loveless jasper?"
Arizona Annie said, "Someone you should be glad you ain't never met, Dakota. He's bad news; makes Cochise look like a missionary."
The Sheriff said, "The Arc Dome is two days' ride that way, and we may not have much time, so mount up, all of you. We've got some hard riding in front of us."
It was just before nightfall that they found the woman. They rode over the crest of a hill and saw the dry lakebed that the Sheriff had been pushing for. Along what had been the shoreline of the lake they saw a woman lying on the sand. She was tall, for a woman, and had long, wavy red hair, and was wearing a strange costume. Almost all of the riders had had experience with strangely-dressed folk, of course, but this here costume seemed a bit strange even by the standards of the 37. For one thing, it was a woman wearing the costume, and that was out of the ordinary; few of the gunslingers could remember ever having encountered a woman wearing a costume. Fellers like the Whirlwind and the Iron Mask and Colonel Ramm, they were all guys who were a mite tetched and decided to wear something out of the ordinary. Of course, there was Arizona Annie and Annie Oakley and Black Eagle, but they, too, couldn't remember ever having run into a costumed woman. Arizona Annie had had a couple of unfriendly run-ins with the Hag of Hog Valley, and Annie Oakley had hunted the Gun Witch for several years, but both of those had dressed like women. Strangely dressed women, true, but women anyhow.
For another thing, this woman's costume was strange even by the standards of the 37. Red Wolf might have been wearing a wolf's head on top his own, and of course folks like Gunhawk had something special embroidered on their masks or shirts, but this woman was wearing pants (and only whores and female shooters wore those, in the West, and this woman didn't look like no gunnie that the Annies or Black Eagle had ever seen) and red ones, at that (that color would stand out for miles out on the trails). And she had a red shirt with a strange symbol on it, kinda like the Stars and Stripes, only missing a bunch of both. And when Annie Oakley, gun in hand, crept close and checked the woman, she saw that the cloth of the woman's costume was quite a bit finer than anything you could get west of the Mississippi. Annie couldn't see no tracks leading up to the woman's body. Plus the woman's skin was extremely pale, with no sign of a tan and almost completely unmarked by scars, and her teeth were in fine shape - the finest Annie had ever seen. When Annie rode back to the Sheriff and Matt Slade, she said, "Strangest damn whore I ever saw - and far too expensive for these here parts."
The Ringo Kid and the Rawhide Kid rode up to the Sheriff and reported that there were no tracks anywhere near the lakebed, that they could tell, and so the Sheriff decided to call everyone in from where they were hiding and camp there for the night. Arrowhead and the Kid From Texas volunteered for the watch, which made everyone happy, and made the others think better of the Navajo and the Confederate vet - no one wanted to volunteer for the watch, and everyone hated having to either be chosen for it, or do the choosin'.
It was then that the Sheriff, the Phantom Rider, the Two-Gun Kid, and the Rawhide Kid walked over and started lookin' at the woman. The two Annies had volunteered to take care of her for the night, and both looked up, suspicious, when the four ambled over. Annie Oakley said to the Sheriff, "I know these other three ain't lookin' for a free one off her, John, and I hope you ain't, either."
The Sheriff smiled and said, "I ain't that low yet, Annie. Naw, we're here because Rawhide and Two-Gun and the Rider wanted to have a close look at her." The three squatted and knelt by her and peered close at her unconscious body and face. The Sheriff finally said, "Well? Two-Gun?"
The Two-Gun Kid said, "Sorry, Sheriff, can't say as she rings any bells with me. Rawhide?"
The Rawhide Kid said, "Naw, Two-Gun. The only one of them I ever saw was thet blonde woman, and this ain't her."
The other two looked at the Phantom Rider, who said, in his usual spooky and hoarse voice, "She is not the one." With that he turned and walked back to his horse.
Annie Oakley leaned her head over to the Rawhide Kid and said, "Crazier than a polecat's nephew, he is." The Rawhide Kid smiled and nodded.
The Sheriff looked at the others and said, "She looks like one of them, though?"
The Two-Gun Kid said, "She does. Especially the costume. Kinda like what the blonde woman wore. 'Cept it's red and not black, of course...and it shows a lot less of her skin."
Arizona Annie finally said, "Sheriff, you wanna let me and Annie in on just what the hell you bunch are talkin' about?"
The Rawhide Kid glanced at the Sheriff, who looked over at the other riders, saw they were intent on fixing dinner and were not paying attention to the Sheriff and the others, and nodded. The Rawhide Kid gestured both Annies over and said, in a low voice, "You're gonna think I've been riding with the Phantom Yahoo for too long, but...well, me and Two-Gun and Kid Colt and Ringo and old Whiteface, we...we done run into some folks, a couple of years back, who wore costumes kinda like this one. Not exactly the same, but made from the same cloth, and made to look like costumes, and not clothing."
Annie Oakley raised here eyebrows and said, "Were these crazy folks, like yer normal friends, Rawhide?"
The Two-Gun Kid said, "Actually, Annie, they were...well, they were from the future. From the 1970s and the 1980s."
Both Annies stared at the Two-Gun Kid with some surprise, and then looked at the Sheriff for confirmation of his words. The Sheriff slowly nodded, his expression completely serious. Annie Oakley finally looked back at Rawhide and Two-Gun and said, "I'd figger this is some kinda trick you cooked up to play on the women-folk, except John here got better sense than that. From the future? Really?"
Both Rawhide and Two-Gun nodded, and Two-Gun said, "I...I even spent some time there. Now, don't look at me like that, Annie - it was...it's complicated. But I went into the future. It's a good deal stranger than you might think. And this women, she's a lot like the fellers I rode with back then. She got the same costume, she looks the same, sorta, and...I can just feel it. She's one of them Avengers, I jest knows it."
Arizona Annie said, "The 'Avengers'? Who they avenging?"
The Two-Gun Kid said, "It's a long story, Annie. It's kinda like this bunch of folks who...well, they got these special abilities, and they team up to stop folks like Dr. Loveless and the Masquerader from robbin' and killin' and hurtin' other folks."
The Sheriff said to the Annies, "Can you tell what's wrong with her?"
Annie Oakley shook her head. "Black Eagle and Annie and me looked her over. There's no trace of a wound on her, and we couldn't find any blood on the ground around her. It just seems like she's gone to sleep, is all, and won't wake up."
The Sheriff nodded and said to the Annies, "I'll tell you about these future folks a little later, after the grub is done. For now, just look after our guest here, and try to wake her up about once an hour or so. I got the feeling she might know something about these here Cheemurzwa."
Just then the five heard a groan pass from the woman's lips, and they crowded around her, with both Annies rubbing her temple and wrists. A second later Black Eagle appeared, elbowed aside the Sheriff and the Two-Gun Kid, and began looking into the woman's eyes and mouth.
The woman suddenly sat up, and her eyes jerked open. For a moment she was looking at the six but not seeing them, and she gasped, "Bob?" Then her eyes focussed and she noticed the six, and she instinctively scrabbled backwards away from them.
Annie Oakley raised both hands and said, "Easy there, stranger, we ain't here to harm you."
Arizona Annie leaned over and said, "Can you remember your name?"
The woman said, "I'm...I'm Maddy Joyce...I mean, I'm Miss America." (This caused Rawhide to look at Two-Gun and nod, and Two-Gun to whisper to the Sheriff, "She's got the same strange name for herself, too.") The woman looked at the six and said, "Where...where am I? I'm not...I'm not in Future Man's ship anymore, am I?"
The six exchanged glances, and Annie Oakley said, "I don't know no Future Man hombre, sweetie, and you're a long way from river or sea - ain't no ships within three hundred miles of here."
The woman looked around, somewhat wide-eyed, then vigorously rubbed her face with her hands and looked around again, squinting hard at the six and at the campfires of the other riders beyond them. She abruptly stood up, brushed the dirt and twigs and sand off her costume and smoothed it out. After a moment she looked at the six and said, "What year is it?"
The six glanced at each other, and Annie Oakley said, in an exaggeratedly sweet voice, "1882, darlin'."
The woman seemed to take this in stride, not saying anything and keeping a straight face. She looked away from the others, then looked down at her clothing, fingering it for a moment. She looked up at the others, finally, and said, "And this is where, exactly?"
The Sheriff said, "About a day's ride northeast of Hawthorne, ma'am. In the Nevada territory."
The Two-Gun Kid could restrain himself no longer, and he said, "Miss America, are you one of the Avengers? Can you tell me how Hawkeye's doing?"
She stared at the Two-Gun Kid, obviously mystified, and said, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."
Black Eagle moved forward and gently took Miss America's face in both hands and brought her own face close to Miss America's. Miss America tried to pull away, but the Keewazi showed surprising strength and held her there for a moment. She looked Miss America in the eye and said, "What year do you come to us from? And what land?"
Miss America said, "Nine...nineteen forty-five...I was in a ship over Washington."
Black Eagle released Miss America's face and said to the others, "She tells the truth, as she knows it."
Two-Gun removed his hat and ran his hands through his hair. "1945? But that would be almost 30 years afore Hawkeye and them...shoot. I bet there weren't even any Avengers around back then."
Miss America shook her head. "I'm...I'm sorry. I've never heard of them. I'm with the All-Winners Squad. Wait - 30 years? You've been to the future?"
Two-Gun nodded and said, "Yes, ma'am. I went with...say, wait. I'm not sure I should be telling you this. From what Hawk said I might be changing things if I tell you much about it."
The Sheriff said, "Yeah, actually, Two-Gun, you would be." He turned to Miss America and said, "I've got a few questions for you, ma'am, if you don't mind."
She shook her head and said, "Not if you don't mind answering a few of mine...uh...Sheriff...?"
Catching the question in her voice, Annie Oakley said, "We just call him The Sheriff, Maddy - you don't mind if I call you Maddy, do you?"
Miss America shook her head. "No, not at all - you are...?"
The Sheriff said, "There'll be time for how-do-you-dos later, Annie. Maddy - I'm gonna call you that, since 'Miss America' is a bit too rich of a mouthful for these parts - what are you doing here? Are you here about these Cheemurzwa?" The Sheriff glanced briefly at Black Eagle as he finished the second sentence, and she nodded, letting him know that his pronunciation had been correct. The Sheriff said, "Why did you...come back...to our time?"
Miss America shook her head and smiled prettily and said, "I'm sorry, Sheriff, I can't answer any of your questions. I don't know why I'm...actually, I think I do. I was fighting...uh...actually, you know, I think I can't tell you about it for the same reason that...Two-Gun?...can't tell me about my future. It might change things."
The Sheriff said, "Does the name 'Kang' mean anything to you?"
Miss America shook her head. "No. Should it?"
The Sheriff shrugged. "It might. Never mind. Let's just say that I know a bit about traveling in time, and I happen to know that what Two-Gun tells you might change your future, but what you tell us ain't gonna mean a fart in a tornado to my future, or your past."
Miss America stared at him, then giggled briefly. "Okay, Sheriff. I was fighting this...person. Future Man. He was trying to take over the world, and he was going to...he had captured me and my friends, and he was going to...he said he'd..."
Arizona Annie, recognizing the note of unsurety and fear in Miss America's voice, said, "We got some of them pendejos down where I am, Maddy. 'Course, we also got a saying: Justice is one round in the chamber and one in the cylinder. If you take my meaning."
Miss America looked at her, mystified. Arizona Annie finally said, "Never you mind, Maddy. I'm just saying that I know 'bout men like that, and I know how's best to deal with them." She reached forward and squeezed Miss America's hand, and Maddy Joyce, finding herself liking Arizona Annie, squeezed back. She said, "Thanks...I don't think I caught your name...?"
Arizona Annie said, "Aw, you can just call me Arizona Annie - everyone does. This here's Annie Oakley - you done met the Sheriff - this is Black Eagle, of the Keewazi - and these two owlhoots are the Two-Gun Kid and the Rawhide Kid. 'Course, neither of them has been a kid for a handful of years now, but that's what everyone calls 'em."
Miss America stared at Annie Oakley. "You're Annie Oakley? The Annie Oakley?"
Annie Oakley smiled and said, "I'm the Annie Oakley, alright, 'cept I'm probably not the one you're thinking of. That other woman just sorta borrows my name, and pays me for the privilege."
The Sheriff said, "Sorry to interrupt, Annie, but...you were fightin' this here Future Man, Maddy? What happened?"
Miss America said, "Sheriff, as best I can remember, we'd beaten him, but he...did something to us. I can't remember what. The last thing I remember is fading away and looking at him as he laughed at us."
The Sheriff said, "And you don't know why you're here, or how you got here?"
Miss America shook her head. "No, sorry, Sheriff, I sure don't. This is as much a mystery to me as it is to you."
The Sheriff said, "Well, I got my ideas...but never mind. Annie, can she sack with you?"
Annie Oakley nodded. "Sure, John, I wasn't planning on using my roll tonight anyhow."
The Sheriff smiled at her words and said, "God bless you, Annie, there's many a cowpuncher out here who smiles when he hears your name."
She snorted and said, "You ain't gonna be one of them any time soon, Sheriff, you keep that talk up."
The Sheriff smiled, and he and Rawhide and Two-Gun walked away and joined the others; Kid Colt was regaling the half the men with the story of how the Masquerader made Rawhide think that Colt was an outlaw, and Red Larabee was telling the other half of the men about how Red Raven had teamed up with that scoundrel Harris, down Mexico-way, and terrorized half that country before Tex Morgan and the Apache Kid and a posse of Rangers had tracked them down.
Annie Oakley watched the three walk away, and then turned and said, "It's just us girls, Maddy, so shoot straight: you're really from...1945?"
Miss America nodded and smiled. "I really am."
Annie Oakley said, "Okay, looking at your clothes, I suppose I can believe that. So tell me true: are men the same stubborn broncos they are now?"
Arizona Annie and Black Eagle smiled, and Miss America nodded and grinned. "Pretty much...Annie. My Bob, he's good most of the time, but...well, you know what they say: the boy turns into the man, but he never grows up."
Black Eagle smiled and said, "We say, 'You can take the man out of the children's school, but you can never take the boy out of the man.'" Seeing the stares of the two Annies, Black Eagle said, "We do have schools among the Keewazi, you know."
After they'd finished eating - by trail custom the women rode with the men but separated at night and ate by themselves - and filling Maddy in on the threat of the Cheemurzwa - Maddy was bothered by the heat and agreed that the threat of the Cheemurzwa needed to be stopped - Annie Oakley laid her gunbelt down and said to Miss America, "You can have my roll, Maddy. I'm plannin' on bunkin' with some male company tonight."
Miss America smiled and said, "Oh, really? Which one is your boyfriend?"
Annie Oakley stared, then hooted. "'Boyfriend'...ha. Sorry, Maddy, I mean no offense, but...ha. None of them is the marryin' type, exactly."
Miss America's smile disappeared and her expression became carefully neutral. "Oh."
Annie Oakley, seeing the not-so-hidden disapproval in Miss America's eyes, squatted next to her and said, "Look. I know what you're thinking. Only a Dutchwoman would act like that, right - bunkin' with some man she ain't seeing regular-like?"
Miss America said, "Well...no...it's just that..."
Annie Oakley took in Black Eagle's expressionless face and Arizona Annie's curious look and said, "It's just that you don't think it's right, a woman actin' like that."
Miss America said, "Uh...well...no offense, but no, I don't think it's right."
Annie Oakley said, "But it's okay for men to go out cattin' around after anything that moves, right?"
Miss America said, "But...that's men, not women."
Annie Oakley said, "So? I may have to squat when I piss, but if you cut me, I bleed, and if you shoot me, I die. We're just like them, and I ain't gonna live my life any other way than that. I may not be good enough to vote, but I can outshoot and outride most of them varmints over there, and by Jesus I'm gonna live like they do, too."
Miss America, fascinated despite herself, said, "But...aren't you afraid of getting pregnant?"
Annie Oakley smiled and said, "Honey, that's exactly what I'm plannin' on."
Miss America and Arizona Annie said, "Huh?"
Annie Oakley said, "Look. I've been ridin' with these here boys for nigh on ten years. In two months I'll be 35, and that's when I told myself I'd stop riding and leave the life. I done found the man who killed my Frank - that was my husband - he got drygulched by this puta Mexican, name of Nevins, back in '71, and that's what made me put on these two," and with that she drew her two six-shooters, quick as a blink, and spun them a few times before holstering them, "and start riding. I tracked down Nevins back in '78 and brought him to justice. Since then I've been riding and helping out other women; there's an awful lot of widows out there who need help, and those folks," and she gestured at the other riders, who were hollerin' and laughin' around the campfire, Tex Morgan entertaining them with the story of the Austin whorehouse and the carpetbagger who wanted to pay in land-deeds, "well, they're good in their own way, most of them, but they don't tend to think about women. We got to stick together."
Arizona Annie said, "I hear that. But...Annie, you never told me you were trying to have a baby."
Annie Oakley said, "Annie, you're like the sister I never had, but...you're still young. You ain't seen thirty yet. Things get different, past that mark. I don't want to be a range rider all my life. I may talk the talk, like those boys, but..." She lowered her voice. "I'm starting to feel the miles on me. I get out of bed wrong in the mornings, my back lets me know about it all day. I ain't as old as the Sheriff or Matt, but I've put a lot of land under me, Annie. It's time for me to call it quits, I'm thinking."
Miss America said, "But...a baby? You're not even married - what will people say?"
Annie Oakley said, "I care two flicks of a cow's tail what most folks think, Maddy. Look: all these years, I been saving money, putting it away in a Kansas City bank this feller I know owns. I got enough now to retire. I own a couple of places in Kansas City - a saloon, a general store - more than enough to make me comfortable when I hang up the guns for good. And..." Her face softened, and suddenly Miss America saw the years fall away from Oakley's face, and saw her as she must have been as a teenager. "And I been wantin' a baby for a long time. Me and Frank, we were working on it when he..." She blinked rapidly, and looked away from the others, who carefully stared into the fire. Oakley finally said, "I'm not too old to be a mother - not yet. Another couple of years, and I will be - but not now. I talked to this Jicarilla medicine woman I know, name of Tall Oak, and she told me that if I get pregnant now, I'll be fine and the baby will be healthy."
Miss America said, "But...why this way? Won't the men talk?"
Annie Oakley snorted. "Sure they'll talk, Maddy - but that bunch of gunslicks'll talk about any woman who wears pants." Seeing the somewhat surprised look on Miss America's face, she said, "Look - most of them boys are good folks, deep down. But if a woman straps on a gun, they automatically think she'll put her ankles up around her ears for just about anybody. Ain't that right, Annie?"
Arizona Annie nodded ruefully. "And a lot of them have a hard time taking no for an answer, too."
Annie Oakley said, "So - shot for a brave, shot for a chief, I say. I'm gonna have me some fun, first. Eagle, is it that way among the Comanche? Do your men treat your women fighters like that?"
Black Eagle said, "Truthfully, Annie Oakley, no, it isn't. Most of our women do not take up the spear and rifle. Those who do are assumed to have been called to it by Father Sun or Mother Earth. A warrior who treated a woman as you have been treated...he would be...dealt with by our chiefs, or by the woman's brothers."
Annie Oakley nodded, unsure of what exactly Black Eagle meant, but Arizona Annie, who had seen the Comanche's handiwork first hand, shuddered slightly.
Annie Oakley said to Miss America. "My monthlies ain't due for another couple of days, and Tall Oak done told me that now is when I'm most likely to get knocked up. And Matt Slade...well, he might not be the settlin' down type, but he's the best man I ever known, and he'll be a good father - between us we'll produce a real fine boy." Noticing Matt Slade throwing his coffee grounds on to the fire and scrubbing his cup out, she said, "And since he seems to be gettin' ready for sleep, now's as good a time as any for me to let him know he ain't bunkin' down alone tonight, either." And with that she tipped her hat to the three, winked, and strolled confidently down to the men.
Miss America watched her go, thoughtful, and then noticed Black Eagle start to leave. Miss America said, "You're leaving, too? I was hoping I could talk to you about some things; you seem to know something about what's going on and why I'm here."
Black Eagle said, "There will be time tomorrow for that, Madeleine Joyce. For now, though, I have a path I must walk." Seeing the curious expressions on the faces of Arizona Annie and Miss America, she said, "I have had a Dream about my future...there is a child in it - the child of John Bart, the man you call the Rawhide Kid. This child is important to my people; he will lead them through the dark times to come for the Keewazi. My husband knows what I do, and agrees that this is for the good of the People. So I am going to join Annie Oakley among the men, and...how did she put it..." And then, to the vast amusement of Arizona Annie, Black Eagle said, in a perfect imitation of Annie Oakley, "'I'm gonna have me some fun, first.'" Black Eagle smiled and bowed her head and glided over to the men's campfire.
Miss America looked at Arizona Annie and raised her eyebrows and said, "So - are you going off to sleep with one of them, too?"
Arizona Annie smiled and shook her head. "Not me, sister. I ain't but twenty-nine, and the only child I have is gonna be by my husband. And I'll have to find another one of them first, afore I think about gettin' knocked up."
Madeleine Joyce said, "'Another one'?"
Arizona Annie nodded. "My first one died, back in '73. Shot by this pendejo, name of Adam Hardy; he claimed Tom owed him gambling money. I found Hardy and made him pay, of course."
Miss America slowly shook her head. "Is...is it like that for many people? It seems like such a sad life. I never...this isn't how it is described in my time."
Arizona Annie shrugged and swallowed the last of her coffee. "I don't know about that, of course, but...the range life ain't an easy one, Maddy. If it ain't the storms, it's the crops failing, and if it isn't the crops, it's the Indians, or any one of a dozen sicknesses...and there's always bad men out there with guns who want to take advantage of you. And it's real easy to get shot in one of the fights the Sheriff and that lot get into. I figger maybe one in three men survives to old age out here? That leaves an awful lot of widows and kids without fathers. That's why I'm not following Annie's path. I don't aim to leave any orphans behind, if I get backshot. When I'm ready to hang up my guns, I will, and I'll find some quiet banker who's excited by the idea of sleepin' with the Arizona Annie, and who's boring and has never thrown a punch or fired a gun in his life, and who would never think of raisin' his fist to me or his kids. And I'll marry him."
Arizona Annie stared into the fire and said, almost to herself, "Still...time's are changing, and no mistake. A lot of bad men still out there, but...a lot of lawmen, too. And railroad. And you got your Geronimos, but most of the Indians, they're pushed back on to their lands, and barb wire is going up everywhere...everywhere it ain't already up at, I mean...these ain't the Seventies...might could be that the old days are going for good, and ain't never comin' back. Might could be I should follow Annie's example." She finally shrugged, took a hip flask out of her saddle and took a long pull, and then said, "Well, good night, Maddy - welcome to Nevada territory, by the way. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
Madeleine Joyce stared at her and said, "You too? But..." She held her watch's face up to the firelight. "It's only 7:15! You're going to bed already?"
Arizona Annie stared at her, then laughed. "I forgot you're city folk. Out here, Maddy, we get up with the sun. And the Sheriff, and Matt Slade - they're gonna wanna get an early start. Unless, of course, Annie don't wear them both out. You don't go to sleep now, you're gonna be tired something fierce in the morning."
And with that she emptied her coffee pot onto the fire, stamped out the embers, and curled up in her sleeping bag. Within seconds she was asleep, leaving Maddy to stare up at the sky, more brilliant and filled with more stars than she could remember - even moreso than those nights in North Africa - and to listen to the whoops and hollers of the men, who had moved on from coffee to something stronger. After a while they began singing, in ragged unison, the Ballad of Eskimo Nell, and she listened to that with appalled fascination before finally drifting off to an uncomfortable sleep herself.
Author's Notes:
See the notes at the end of Part 3.
Next issue: Old Guns, Part 3