Fond Memories of a Watcher
by Soledad Cartwright
A ''Pathways in the Dark'' story Follows ''Wild Child''
Disclamer: Most of the characters in this story belong to their respective creators. Only Sister Grace is mine.
Author's notes:
1. This is basically an Angel story, but in strong connection to Kindred: The Embraced and Poltergeist - The Legacy. There are also slight hints to other series, vampiric or not.
2. In the Angel/Buffy timeline this story is happening during season 2 in ''Angel'', near its end, where Joss and I went out different ways. In *my* universe, the whole Pylea story-line hasn't happened, and after 'Reunion' Spike became a frequent visitor in L.A., re-conciliating with his Sire. At this time, he has an affair with Willow who's broken up with Tara sometime after 'Family'.
3. Oz has switched from Sunnydale University to UCLA and is currently living in Doyle's old appartment.
4. The Primogens of the L.A. Kindred society - the ones who survived Cyrus' reign of terror, that is - have contacted Angel a short time ago and accepted him as inofficial Prince of the City. Angel works for Wesley now, but basically, he's more concerned with reconstructing normal Kindred social structure in his City.
5. Julian Luna, the Ventrue Prince of San Francisco, has sent his Childe, Sonny Toussaint, to Angel, in order to talk him about a possible alliance against the threatening Sabbat infestation in both cities. Luna still doesn't knowe that Angel, in fact, is his old friend, Liam Brennan.
6. Angel, in order to continue the treaty talks, has sent Spike to San Francisco. He is also to learn the Kindred ways and to search for Drusilla. Spike's living in the Luna Mansion as the Prince's guest, but started a passionate affair with the Brujah Primogen, a relatively young vampire called Ian Cameron.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
''How long, do you think, your Sire is gonna let you stay here?'' Cameron asked spooning up against Spike's back and burying his face between the older vampire's shoulder blades
. Spike reached back and patted his new lover affectionately. ''Don't know, pet. He told me something about coming over himself after Dru has been found... so we can assume we're safe until then. Otherwise, I could return home any time - thanks to you. You taught me well.''
''Do you want to return home?'' Cameron asked, fearing the answer. With a Sire so passionately demanding and a sweet mortal lover, why wouldn't Spike want to return to Sunnydale?
The older vampire shrugged, unintentionally caressing his lover's face with his shoulder blades. ''Part of me does. I have a place there, a purpose... good fights, respect among the non-human thugs... and nice company in bed. But there is another part of me that would like nothing more than stay here with you forever.''
''You would?'' Cameron murmured, snuggling even closer to him.
Spike grinned. ''What happened to your self-esteem, mate? You're great fun in a fight, you taught me everything I need to finally get that darn chip out of my head... and you're absolutely shaggable. What else could a bloke want? Besides'', he added, suddenly very serious, ''you're a friend, and I don't have many of those.''
''I still don't understand why you've accepted me'', Cameron murmured. ''I mean, you could have had anyone in this city. Lillie... Sasha... even Julian himself.''
''I don't do sirens'', Spike shrugged, ''and Luna is a control freak. I already have one of that sort at home, thank you very much. And Sasha... well, we *did* blow some steam off together. Might turn it into something permanent, even. You, on the other hand, are different.''
''Why?''
''Well, I've only had someone like you once. A mortal, the ex-Watcher of the rogue Slayer. I guess, you might have been very similar in your mortal days. Little respect from others and low self-esteem to match, but a lot of hidden depths... and oh, such a tight ass and such breakable bones...'' his voice got dreamy. ''I was thinking about breaking his bones'', he murmured, licking his lips. ''I imagined turning him. He let me feed off him, you know. All I'd have had to do was drain him and give him some of my blood. He'd have let me... even with the chip, I could have turned him, so willing was he. He'd have Become someone like you, I think.''
''Why didn't you?'' Cameron wondered. ''Such an opportunity might never occur again...''
''Because it wasn't me he wanted'', Spike sighed. ''He wanted my bloody Sire with that filthy soul of his. He only came to me because Peaches was not available... damn him! I could have turned the guy, could have broken all his bones, could worked the Blood Bond on him and made him my slave, could have fucked his very brains out... and he'd still have been Angel's. I don't make a Childe just to let him walk out into the sun, just because of my Sire.''
''But you'd have *loved* to break him, wouldn't you?'' Cameron asked softly. All this talking about dominance and submission made Spike extremely horny; his Sire was very fond of dominance games, especially with him, his prize Childe.
''It was... tempting'', Spike admitted. ''I mean, Peaches's made me to be his submissive, and I was... until he got cursed. To own someone the way he owns me... to have *this* kind of power over a lover... yeah, it was very temptin'. I used to be my own Master Vampire after all, for over a century... before I gave it all up to be able to return to him.''
''And because of the chip'', Cameron added.
''Yeah, because of the bloody chip, too'', Spike agreed, ''but first and foremost because I am his, and his alone. Nothin' can change that... and to be honest, I don't even want to change it. Still, to own someone the same way would have been... liberatin'.''
''You still can do it, man'', Cameron murmured. ''I mean, own someone that way. If you want a slave, a real one, I'd be glad to submit to you.''
Spike turned in his arms and glared at him unbelievingly. ''Have you lost your mind? You're a Clan Primogen, for fuck's sake!''
''What does it matter in this context?'' Cameron asked, shrugging. ''I've been floating without a Regnant since Julian killed my Sire. We were Bound, you know... and he was utterly dominating, although he truly loved me. I miss that.''
''What do you miss?'' Spike snorted. ''Being chained up and beaten to bloody pulp and then fucked so sore that you couldn't sit? Believe me, I've gone through the whole program when Angelus was still his own demon self.''
''And yet you jumped to the chance to return to him'', Cameron reminded him. ''Why? I know he's different now, but you only knew his old self. Why did you return to him?''
''Because he deeply, passionately, possessively loved me'', Spike answered quietly. ''He's never loved anyone else quite like me... until Alex came along. Not even the slutty Slayer who broke his curse and set his Beast free.''
''Why is Alex... different?''
''She's almost one of us, just a lot better. She's witty, beautiful, strong, independent, in every way his equal. And she accepts him for who and what he is. She's ready to share him with his Childer... and she accepted our Bond for what it is. I like her a lot, actually.''
''But you still feel neglected'', Cameron finished for him.
Spike shook his head. ''No, not neglected... I know he's just as unable to break our Bond as I am. And he's always had other lovers besides me, just as I have. It's just... their Bond is so strong, so deep, it makes me feel... lonely sometimes. And every time he sends me away for a mission, I have this irrational fear he won't wish to have me back. Stupid, I know.''
Cameron kissed him, slowly and deeply. ''No, it isn't. It's the nature of love, we can't change it. But my offer was serious. Take me, if it helps you. Make me completely yours. It's not a charity thing, I need this, too. Your life could get balanced, and I... I could *belong* again.''
''Pet, it won't work'', Spike murmured, stroking the face of his lover gently. ''We don't even live in the same city...''
''But you could come and visit me'', Cameron argued. ''Your kind is not as territorial as ours is. Or I could resign my responsibilities and go to L.A. with you.''
''You can't be serious, Luv. Am I talking to the same Brujah who wanted to take over Luna's seat less than a month ago?''
''I like power'', Cameron admitted, ''and I do have certain... ambitions. But they are way less important than what we have. If I had to chose, I'd have chosen you, before everything else.''
''You don't have to'', Spike answered firmly. ''I won't let you give up your work, your ambitions. I want you to get your errant Clan under control and become a respected and important leader of the undead in San Francisco. The other matter... we'll talk about it later.''
''I don't understand it'', Cameron took Spike's hand and started slowly kissing his fingers, one after another. ''You like power, just like I do... our Blood is strong in you. It would help you to dominate me, and I'd gladly allow it. Why are you hesitating?''
''You're right, I crave for dominance'', Spike agreed sadly, ''especially since I became Angelus' submissive again. It's his inheritance in my blood. But he wasn't the one who taught me how to love. I knew that before him... and unlike most of his creations, I've never forgotten. When I'm with you, it's almost like before him. It makes me feel... wanted and cherished and... and worth to be loved. Hurtin' you would give me power, for sure, but it also would destroy this... and somehow I don't want to see it destroyed.''
''Not even if it could be seen as a weakness?'' Cameron asked softly, nipping on his lover's thumb and licking up the tiny blood drops... the taste of Spike's blood always made him light-headed, he just couldn't resist.
Spike shrugged and entwined his free hand into Cameron's dark hair, massaging his scalp gently. ''There were many who thought me weak'', he said with a dark little smirk. ''No one lived to tell the tale. Stop worryin', pet. There are better ways to spend our time.''
Cameron laughed softly and relaxed into his arms. Indeed, there were much better ways. He'd never felt so safe and warm in his whole life, neither as mortal, nor as undead, not even with his Sire. It was wonderful to lay down all his responsibilities, the whole burden Sorrel had loaded onto his shoulder and concentrate on one single thing: to please this man whom he'd only known from gothic legends a month ago, but who suddenly became the very center of his unlife.
''You're right'', he replied, smiling dreamy, ''so let's do something more pleasant.''
The End