Innocence
by Soledad

Disclaimer:
The characters, the context and the main plot belong to Professor Tolkien, whom I greatly admire. I'm only trying to fill in the gaps he so graciously left for us, fanfic writers, to have some fun. Only Haldir and Erestor's families belong to me (with the exception of Rúmil and Orophin, of course).

Rating: G, for this chapter. At least I hope so.

Please read Warnings before the Prologue.

Dedication: this one is for Finch, who wanted to know...

This is an un-betaed draft. It will be replaced with the beta-ed version as soon as possible.

Author's Notes:

This Interlude was no more foreseen than the other ones. Originally, I planned a big time loop after Chapter 10, continuing the main storyline in Imladris. But I realized that there still were some loose ends in Lórien that I needed to tie up ere I go on. So, this Interlude features mainly Haldir and Fíriel and how they deal with the consequences of their choice. King Amroth, Haldir's mother and his siblings will have cameos, as well as the Rivendell Elves who still tarry in Lórien.

JastaElf, I hope this little Interlude answers at least some of your questions. Oh, and Legolas has very much been born by now. He's about the same age as King Amroth (who's a second grade cousin of him, by the way), but won't have an appearance until chapter 15.

Interlude in the Golden Wood

[The 29th day of *lairë*, in the year 642 of the Third Age]

The boat trip to Edhellond and back had taken more than a full round of the Sun, and the visit in Gildor's realm took unexpected turns in Erestor's life - he knew he would have think over those events, long and hard, once they have returned to Imladris(1).

In truth, he *wanted* to return home. He had never been awway from Elrond's peaceful, hidden valley for this long before, and craved for its serenity and beauty. Edhellond had been a marvellous place, and the enchanted woods of Lothlórien a wonder on and in themselves, but Imladris was *home*. The only one he head known for thousands of years. And as much as he kliked spending some time with Lindir and Haldir's family, he missed Elrond, whom he still saw as a substitute father, even after all the time he lived under the Lord of Imladris' roof as an adult.

He had not seen much of Lindir since they came back from the South, of course. When the youngling was not with the Lord Celeborn, who was tutoring him in the use of the highly rare gift of reading other people's hearts, he wandered around in the woods with the minstrels of the Galadhrim or simply disappeared high up in some obscure tree to continue his endless conversation with visiting birds. Erestor suspected that Lindir was trying to find out the whereabouts of Aiwendil, not having seen the old wizard for a very long time. Having spent a lengthy time with Gildor must have stirred the youngling's well-buried longing for family - and for him, family still meant Aiwenddil... to a certain extent.

But other than that, Lindir seemed fairly content and just as ready to return to Imladris as Erestor was. In fact, Elladan was getting retless himself, missing sorely his home - and more than anything else his twin -, for never had he been separated from Elrohir for more than a few days, and he clearly liked it not. His recently-found closeness with Orophin was not enough of a distraction to keep him in Lothlórien any more(2).

''Tis as if part of my soul is missing'', he confessed to Erestor, sitting with him on the river bank, just outside of Caras Galadhon. ''I know not how others can live their lives without such a tight bond.''

''We never knew aught else'', Erestor shrugged, ''so we cannot miss it. Have you ever thought of the chance that your Final Choice might be different?''

''Often'', Elladan admitted, ''and it frightens me greatly. I have so much from my mortal sires in me, Erestor, and Elrohir so little! He is more like the Lord Celeborn than any one of our family; more than even Mother. Small wonder that he is closer to Mother than I am. Just as Arwen has this great likeness to Father.''

''And whose likeness do *you* bear?'', Erestor asked, smiling, surprised that Elladan chose to share his inner thoughts with him. 'Twas not something that happened often. Elladan was the most solitary one of Elrond's children, even during that short time when the two of them had been lovers.

Elladan returned his smile with a sad one of his own.

''I know not. I fancy myself thinking that I might be like my mortal sires, Beren or Tuor, but in the end I know I am not. I am too much of an Elf for that - and yet not Elf enough to be like the rest of my family. I stand out like a dark horse from Father's heard.''

''Have you ever heard the oldest Lay of Leithian, sung in Nandorin by Master Singer Orgof?'', Erestor asked. When Elladan shook his head, he added: ''Next time Gildor's people visit Imladris, you should ask him to sing it to you. For - alone of all the minstrels still alive - he had *seen* the events he is singing of with his own eyes, and this way you could see that there was *one* among your sires whom you look, indeed, very much alike, both in face *and* in temper.''

''And who might that be?'', Elladan asked, clearly intrigued.

''No less than Dior Eluchíl, the son of Lúthien and Beren'', Erestor said.

''You have to be jesting!'', Elladan laughed. ''Dior is said to have been the fairest in face and stature among both kins of the Children of Ilúvatar!''

''He was'', Erestor agreed, ''at least when ever he was wearing the *Nauglamír*. But without it, he very much looked like you do, if we may believe Orgof's memories. Why are you so surprised? You are only three generations removed.''

''So I only need a magic piece of Dwarven jewelry to become fair enough for an average Elf'', Elladan laughed, but the sadness left not his grey eyes. Erestor shhok his head in exasperation. Obviously, Elladan was having one of *those* days again. They came not frequently, but they coul poison his mood for weeks.

''You are hopeless'', he said, just a little annoyed. ''Now, tell me: when are we leaving for Imladris? I am quite eager to get home.''

''And so am I'', Elladan replied, sobering, ''but 'tis not entirely my decision. We have to wait for King Amroth's return from Eryn Galen, to see how he decides about Haldir and Fíriel's fate. I cannot leave her here to Amroth's mercy ere I know whether she would be welcome to stay... afther what happened. Father would have my head if I did.''

Erestor nodded slowly, knowing how very true Elladan's words were. Coming back from the South, just to find that in their absence Fíriel had given birth to a child, sired by Haldir, was quite a shock for him. A spontaneuos conception was rare for Elves, for it usually needed a conscious act of will from both parents, but again, it happened rarely, too, that an Elf would have been able to soul-bond with a second mate as Fíriel did it with Haldir. It took an overwhelming passion to create a new life spontaneously, but then it was obvious enough for any one with eyes that Haldir and Fíriel *did* share such a passion - strong enough to build a shared life upon it(3).

The Silvan folk of Lothlórien accepted the newcomer without much discussion, for they shared not the narrow-mindedness that was the curse of many Noldor, no matter of in this side or beyond the Sea. The small community of Nandor Elves - living, with a few exceptions, under Amroth's rule -, greeted the new life in their midst with great joy, for they considered Haldir's family as their own people, despite the lady Gwenethlin's purely Silvan heritage. The few Noldor living in Caras Galadhon, though, and especially the Lady's guard of mixed Noldorin-Silvan descent, saw in the innocent child an abomination and called Fíriel a faithless whore. *Not* for having taken a new lover after the brutal death of her first family, but because she bound with him and gave him a child.

So, one could not be perfectly sure that Amroth, being the last member of a long line of Sindarin Princes (even though his mother had been of the Silvan folk) would protect Haldir and his new family, or even allow them to remain in his realm any longer. If the young King truly wanted to wed the Lady Undómiel - and rumours said that they *had* come to some sort of an understanding while Erestor visited Edhellond -, he might be considering to sacrifice his chief counsellor, in order to keep the balance of power between the two Lórien realms. For it was questionalbe, whether the Lady Galadriel would support the idea of her only granddaughter living in a court where the letter of the the high and mighty Noldorin law was being deliberately ignored.

'Twas never easy to guess what Galadriel would do, and as much as Amroth despised her for taking over half of his kigdom and his old home, she was a power in the Golden Wood that had to be counted with. Small wonder that Haldir waited anxiously for the return of his kIng, who was visiting his kingsman, Thranduil if Eryn Galen. Not that he doubted the honesty of Amroth's friendship - but he was sober enough to know that sometimes people were given up for the sake of whole kingdoms.

Fyrioel on the other hand seemed to grow facing the unspoken hostility emanating towards her from Caras Galadhon. She was not young, not even by Elven measures, and had learnt to take what fate gave her. She refused to hide in shame, for - in spite of being a pure-blooded Noldo - she found nothing shameful in her love for Haldir, and was proud of her sweet little son, whom - in a fit of utter defiance -, she had named *Malgalad*, after Haldir's father, and the Nandorim loved her for that with the fierce loyalty that is so typical for their kindred.

Rarely did an Elven woman give birth to a child at Fíriel's age; not that it would have been a risk for them (as it would be for mortal women after the passing of their yout), but it was not customary. Had it not been for the War of the Jewels in the First Age, Fíriel most likely would have gone to the West by now, with her children and grandchildren and their children. But after having lost her first family to the cruel sons of Fëanor, fate have her a second chance, and she was determined to make the best of it.

''I will not allow the foolish law of the Noldor to take me him who is soul-bound to me, or our child'', she stated to Arwen, with that stubborn look at her face that told all those that knew her that this was her last word in this. ''In fact, I want to have an other child with Hathaldir, once this one is grown. Mayhap even more.''

''And should King Amroth think us to be a hindrance for his rule, we are ready to leave Lothlórien'', Haldir added quitely. ''I received a message from Eryn Galen, thank some friendly birds. King Thranduil offered to take us in his service, in case we cannot stay here. A good archer and a master healer are always welcome in his halls.''

''So you are willing to go in exile?'', Arwen asked Fíriel. The older woman shrugged.

''I doubt that *your* father would welcome us in Imladris, Lady Undómiel. We have been close friends for a long time, but he has to consider the Lady Galadriel's opinion, even more than young King Amroth does, and I wish not to force him to make that choice. So, aye, I am willing to go any where, where people try not to force us apart in the name of some obscure ancient law that keeps rules in higher esteem than lives and the love of two souls that are bound to each other.''

''Is then love worth of givin up everything for it?'', Arwen asked thoughtfully. ''To throw away your whole life, all that you have been lied for so long?''

''If 'tis true love, then it *is* worth of any price you are willing to pay for it'', Fíriel answered solemnly. ''Mayhap one day you *will* understand this, young one. Mayhap one day you, too, *will* be asked to give up everything for *one* person - and myhap you will do so, gladly.''

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And thus tempers run rather high when on the eve ot the 30th *lairë* King amroth and his escort finally returned from the realm of their northern kindred. The young King was grim-faced when he rode in, and after having greeted his folk that had gathered in great numbers to welcome him, he asked them to leace him alone with his household, promising them a feast on the next eve, and that ont hat feast all tidings would be shared.

''I am in dire need of a bath and some rest'', he then said, when the crowd had been gone, ''but I wish to spak you righ after sunset, Hathaldir. You and your entire family, for 'tis a matter that concerns you all. Has your mother returned to us already?''

''Aye, my King. She came home shortly after you have left.''

''Ask her to came, too. According to Silvan custom, she *is* the head of your family, and her word shall be heard ere I make my decision.''

''As you wish, my King. I shall call her at once.''

''And you'', King Amroth turned to Erestor, ''I wish to be present as well. You belong to Elrond's family, yet not by blood, so I choose you as an impartial witness. Will you do this for me and your friend Hathaldir? I know there is no great love between you and the Lady Fíriel.''

''That is true'', Erestor admitted, ''yet I respect her envertheless. She was like a foster mother to me, even though a harsh one, and I wish her happiness. She deserves it. She has suffered enough.''

''In truth, she has'', Amroth sighed. ''I fear this shall be a hard decision, my friend, regardless of all the counsel my kinsman King Thranduil has offered during my stay in his halls. For how ever I decide, someone will be unhappy with it.''

'''Tis nearly always so when one has to choose between the letter of law and people's lives'', said Erestor quietly, and the young King nodded in agreement.

''Ture. Yet someone has to make the hard decisions, and I have not accepted the burden of kingship to hide from them. Now, do tell me ere I go for a short rest: how has your long yourney been?''

''Most amazing'', Erestor answered. ''I have messages for you, my King, from Gildor Inglorion and several of his people. Rúmil... I mean Rhimbron has taken them to your study.''

Amroth nodded absently and gave him a wry look.

''What happened? You did not go all stiff and defensive when speaking Gildor's name. Have the two of you become friends down in the South?''

''Nay, my Lord'', Erestor shook his head with a rueful grin, ''and I doubt that we ever would. But we have... settled our issues.''

''Have you?'', Amroth gave him the royal eyebrow. ''Now *that* is a tale I would *love* to hear. Alas, somehow I have not the feeling that you would be willing to tell it. Ever.''

''Indeed, my Lord, I would rather not.''

''I thought so. Well then, we shall meet again after sunset, up in my house.''

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The sun had barely set when Haldir's family gathered in the great hall of King Amroth's house, high up on the royal *mallorn*. Aside of the Lady Gwenethlin and her sons, there was Fíriel with the baby, of course, and, surprisingly, Calaglinel as well, though she dwelt in Caras Galadhon and serverd the Lady of the Wood. But his closeness with Rúmil had grown enough during their journey to the South for her to be included into family matters, and *this* certainly was one.

Erestor came as a witness, having been invited by the King himself, and Lindir followed him silently, like a ghost, hoping that he would not be sent away. Fíriel had been his tutor in herbal lore, and he respected her greatly and wished her from his heart some well-deserved happiness.

Finally, the King came in, in the company of the Lady Arwn, wearing the usual silvery-green garb of his people. Arwen, too, wore the unadorned, soft grea garment of the Galadrim, and looked unusually grave for her young age. Amroth semed less than well-rested, his fair face grim and determined.

''Thank you all for coming in such short a time'', he said. ''We shall speak openly of this, fro the issue needs to be settled as soon as it can be done. So forgive me if I might speak bluntly. We are dealing with laws and customs of two different people here, and it may not be easy to find a way to satisfy all sides involved. Lady Fíriel, is it your will to remain with your chosen one, regardless of what your own people might say about it?''

''Aye, my Lord King, it is'', Fíriel andswered in a steady voice.

''Do you understand that it means you might become an putcast among your people for breaking Noldorin law?'', Amroth continued.

''I do'', Fíriel replied, ''and I care not. I would rather listen to the counsel of my own heart, no matter where it will lead me.''

''If 'tis so, I respect your dacision'', said Amroth; then he turned to haldir. ''Hathaldir, son of Malgalad, is it *your* will to be remain with your chosen one, even if this would make *you* an outcast and a lawbreaker in the eyes of her people?''

''It is, my Lord King'', Haldir answered without hesitation, deeply moved by the fact thatz Amroth even named his father, in order to emhasize the graveness of the situation. The young King nodded.

''Are you aware of the fact that you have only two paths to walk from now on: to part and be reunited with your former spouses, if you want to go to the Blessed Realm, or else to reamin here, in Middle-earth and eventually fade away?'', he asked earnestly.

''We do, my Lord'', Haldir said for both of them and laid a protective arm around his beloved; ''and we choose to stay together and reamin here - and perish, if it should be so. For we both feel this our bond to be much stronger than the ones that have tied us to our former spouses have been.''

''Does the head of your family accept your choice?'', Amroth turned to Gwenethlin. The matriarch bowed her head.

''I do, my lord. Even though it means that one day I might have chose between remaining here, with my children, or being reunited with my husband, who, I am certain of that, is waiting in Mandos' Halls to be released. But I cannot and shall not deny my firstborn the happiness I once had knwon with his father.''

''Do the other members of the family give their consent to this union, even though such a bonding might be heacvily frowned upon by many of our kin?'', Amroth continued, turning to Haldir's brothers.

''We do'', Rúmil answered, while Orophin gave a simple nod. ''And I have been asked to voice the opinion of our sister and her husband in this matter. Both Fimbrethil and Ilverin do support our brother in his choice and are willing to take him and his now family in tehir home, should the need arise, since Edhellon is *not* under Noldorin law(4).''

''Nor is Lothlórien, as long as I can call myself her King'', said Amroth drily. ''This is a Silvan realm, and the customs of the Silvan folk here shall be respected. Therefore, the family of Malgalad will always be welcome to dwell among her borders - *all* members of it. 'Tis an honour to have such a noble and brave Lady in my court.''

''I thank you for your gratious support, my Lord'', Haldir answered, moved almost to tears by this open display of friendship, ''but do consider that it might lessen your chances to make a union between the two realms in Lothlórien work. Tha Lady Galadriel will not take your open support of breaking Noldorin law kindly.''

''I am aware of *that*'', Amroth gave him a rueful smile. ''But I shall not sacrifice your friendship and unwavering loyalty for mere politics. You have been my friend, may tutor and my protector all my life, Hathaldir, and you hesitated not for a heartbeat to leave the comfort and safety of Caras Galadhon, in order to follow me here and support my claim on my birthright. How could I ever turn my back on you?''

''And if the Lady Galadriel takes back her offer for an alliance?'', Haldir asked in worry.

''That would be unfortunate'', Amroth shrugged, ''But not the end of Arda. I have won a strong supporter in King Thranduil of the Greenwood, and *that* is an alliance I can always count on. For though Thranduil has no hidden powers to protect his home, Greenwood still *is* the strongest Elven realm east of the Sea. And I have the support of Gildor Inglorion as well. Thus, although I would welcome an easier neighborhood, it truly means little to me whether the Kinslayer likes the members of my court or not.''

''Amroth'', the Lady Arwen warned him, not too kindly, ''I asked you not to speak of my kinswoman thusly. You might have your grievances, but I shall *not* have you speak of my family in this manner. Ever. You are a King; so *act* like a King.''

Amroth had the decency to look ashamed, and Erestor fought very hard to surpress a grin. No-one raised the ire of Arwen Undómiel, Warrior Princess of Imladris, and got away unscathed. King Amroth obviously had yet to learn this - and mayhap in the hard way.

''But that is not the point'', Arwen added. ''For my hand is mine to give and whom to give - just as my heart. And even though the Lady Galadriel would likely think that your court was a bad influence, *I am* the one to choose, not she.''

''*Have* you chosen then, Lady Undómiel?'', Erestor asked softly.

''Nay'', said Arwen, ''for in my current state of mind it most certainly would be a wrong choice. Therefore, I decided to remain in Lothlórien for some more time and consider my choices carefully.''

''If I may give you any counsel'', Erestor said, ''I would ask you not to choose out of despair or wounded pride.''

Arwen gave him one of those mystic smiles.

''Worry not, my friend'', she answered gently. ''I *never* choose in haste. Nor would I let the folly of my youth choose for me.''

Erestor nodded in relief; it seemed that Arwen was slowly recovering from the grief over her doomed relationship with gildor. He alone knew how doomed to failure that affair truly had been, having got a glimpse into the depths of Gildor's heart - it was *not* a pleasant place, not even for the Elf-Lord himself.

But Arwen had always been strong, thank the Valar. She had the strength to put an end to something that could only bring her sorrow - she would have the strength to deal with the loss, too... and the strength for a new beginning.

Amroth looked from one to the other, clearly feeling that he had been left out of something very important, but decided wisely not to press.

''I am glad you decided to stay, Lady Undómiel'', he said instaed. ''Never have the stars shone brighter than when you grace our woods with your presence. Now'', he added with a smile, turning to Fíriel, ''may I take a look at the younges citizen of my realm?''

Fíriel returned the smile and laid the baby in his arms. The child was small and sprite-like, grey-eyed like his mother and ash-blonde like his fater, though his delicate features reminded more of Fíriel.

''He is adorable'', Amroth murmured, kissing the top of the little head. ''Welcome, Malgalad son of Fíriel and Hathaldir. I hope you will like it in our realm.''

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

End notes:

(1) There is a missing chapter decribing those very events on my website - but *only* for adults. You don't need to read it in order to understand this part of the tale.
(2) Sprout wanted Elladan to have someone in Lothlórien. Well, I always try to make my faithful readers happy...<g> Besides, such a thing can come handy later.
(3) Okay, we all know that I'm messing with the Great Maker's concept about Elven love here, but I'm doing it deliberately, so there's no use flaming me for that.
(4) Now you might find this unlikely. But I've already emphasized in chapter 10 that Gildor basically let the council of his mostly Silvan subjects rule his realm, and that he respected Silvan customs for his people's sake. He didn't have that much choice, really, since only a handful Noldor lived under his rule. Edhellond was a settlement of the Silvan Elves.

This is my image of Fíriel (I hope it does show up on the website).

Originally an Erestor-picture from the card game, but it looked too feminine for me for a male Elf.

So I made it Fíriel, who is hard enough to look like this.

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