Idiots Everywhere
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to
contact the telephone repair people.  They promised to be
out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.  When I asked if they
could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"

I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do
that, since our phones weren't working.  He also
requested that we report future outages by email.  (Does
YOUR email work without a telephone line?)

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase
when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the
back of the credit card.

She informed me that she couldn't complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature I had just signed on the receipt.  So I signed
the credit card in front of her.  She carefully compared
the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stop light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red.  Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who
was leaving the company due to down-sizing.  Our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun.  We should do this
more often." Not a word was spoken.  We all just looked at
each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked
in it.  We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side
door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it
was unlocked. "Hey", I announced to the technician, "it's
open!" To which he replied, "I know -I already got that side."

NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL A LITTLE SMARTER?!!
!