 Southern Comfort Conference in 1998 |
 Robert with his S.O., Lola |
This page is dedicated to the memory of transmen who have come and gone before us. They were the ones who helped pave the way for us to be who we are. This is the best way I could think of to see that their memory, and all they have worked so hard for, lives on.
Southern Comfort Conference in 1998 |
Robert with his S.O., Lola |
I only met him once, so I did not know him well, though I had heard alot about him from his loving friends. After that, we had only exhanged casual conversation as we would pass by each other. However, that one chance meeting at my first Southern Comfort Conference in 1998 has left an impression on me that still holds true to this day. Robert was the kind of man that, for someone like me who was just starting out at the time, I wanted to be like. He was very much a male in appearance, but he was kind, compassionate, and seemed very much at peace with who he was. Every time I saw him he was surrounded by friends. He seemed to be the kind of man people felt drawn to.
Even I, a casual observer, noticed that Robert was in poor health. I didn't know what was wrong but my heart went out to him. Despite his condition, he had a smile on his face every time I saw him. I was to find out he had been to the last 7 SCC conferences. I did not know this one would be his last. It was not until February of 99, when I happened to see a letter written by his s.o., Lola, in the newsletter of a TG support group, that I not only found out what his condition was, but that he had passed away. Robert had died of uterine cancer and, although it had been diagnosed almost 3 years before, he had been turned away for medical treatment by over 20 doctors and clinics......because he was a transman. By the time he found a doctor and had gotten treatment it was too late. To this day reading Lola's letter makes me want to shed the tears I can no longer seem to cry. It makes me angry at a medical community that is supposed to treat EVERYONE, regardless of their differences. A couple of month's ago I purchased a leather hat I had been wanting. The first time I wore it I was reminded of Robert, for I have hardly seen many pictures of him where he wasn't wearing one like it. So, to Robert, I dedicate this story. My hat goes off to him.