Andrew's Tips For Transmen
Below are some tips I have put together that I hope will help you out in your transition. I am not a doctor or a therapist and I do not make claims that the things I have mentioned will be the case in EVERY situation. They are just merely observations I have made during my own transition. Enjoy!
If you are a short guy and you worry about your height, before you go buying lifts to put inside your shoes (which I have tried and it worked but I HATED it), take a look around you. You aren't the only one. There are ALOT of short bio-males out there!
Don't fall into the mindset that you have to have REALLY short hair to pass. Try to avoid getting a buzz cut. It may work for some, but, if you have a youthful face anyway, it knocks years off your appearance and you are more likely to get "carded". If you are in a state where you have to have SRS to change the sex on your license, are pre-hormones, or you haven't had your named changed you probably don't want to show your license around any more than you have to!
Also, if you have a slightly feminine face and you get this cut you might be seen as "butch" instead of male. This is NOT knocking lesbians but, if you are reading this, I assume you ARE trying to pass as a MALE aren't you? *grin*
The dreaded "bathroom situation"....First of all, observe your surroundings when you first go in. If it is a typical dive, there will usually only be one stall and one urinal. Alot of the stalls in these places won't have doors. If nature is calling in a major way just make sure there's a lock on the bathroom door and do your stuff. (I have been walked in on before and just did get my jeans up in time!)
Also, as a rule I don't speak unless spoken to and I don't make eye contact. Depending on where you are, eye contact could be deemed as a sign of aggression and speaking could get you knocked out. (Unfortunately, most of the world is STILL homophobic)
Another thing to know, if there are alot of guys in there and you are not comfortable JUST LEAVE (if you can hold it! *grin*) Guys do this too so it wouldn't call attention to you if you just walked out.
If you are in a menswear store and need to be "fitted" for anything, it is common for the tailor to ask you if you wear your trousers "to the left" or "to the right". If you wear a "packer" and you have noticed it "shifts" to one side or the other, make note of which side it "rests" on because this is what you are gonna tell that tailor. It you DON'T wear one, hell, just make something up. The tailor isn't going to know!
If you aren't wearing a "packer", or "pants stuffer" as its also known, and you would like to be, visit the Grand Opening website on the resources page of this site. They make a great one that comes in several different sizes and is the most realistic one I have seen. It's only around $15, compared to those I've seen for $300...and remember...bigger is not always better! Go with what works for your size and build.
It's a good idea to shave the peach fuzz off your face, because bio males do not have that. Some people have a noticeable amount of it, and some don't but if you are one who has it then shaving it off will not only cause you NOT to stand out as a female, but it will promote the growth of darker hair coming in once you have started hormones.
Alot of guys I have talked to early in their transitions have a big desire for facial hair. True, it DOES help you pass alot easier, but I don't know of any substitute for the real thing. So, if you are taking hormones and not seeing any growth, just be patient and give it time. Everyones facial hair growth will be different. I have tried theatrical beards and mustaches that were made of human hair to match my hair color, but it looked far from natural even still. Some will suggest using an eyeliner pencil to create a "stubbly" look, but that look went out after Miami Vice went off the air and you'd have to be in a very dim room to not get noticed, so I wouldn't suggest it. It took me around 3 months to get good sideburns, and around 5-6 to get a noticeable beard. Some guys don't see facial hair after a year on hormones. It just depends on genetics. So, don't get caught up in the thinking that having facial hair "makes the man". If you can't grow it, you can't grow it. Don't worry about it and do not think it makes you less of a man.
If you are full-figured don't think you will never be able to pass. Hormones can do a great deal to alter your shape through the redistribution of your body fat. I ought to know. I was 38-26-38 at one time and to look at me now you'd never know it. However, like anything else worthwhile, this takes time. It helps to be working out and getting your excess body weight down while you are waiting.
In my opinion, binding of the chest is one of the least desireable things we as transmen have to do to achieve the look we want. There are many overpriced contraptions out there that are as uncomfortable as any bra ever was. I myself do not believe in Ace bandages. They may flatten you out but they are VERY uncomfortable and restrict your movements. Long term use of them could also do some damage do the muscles in your chest and you want to hang on to good muscle tone in that area for when you have top surgery! I have found a device put out by the Johnson-Smith Company, whose website is also on the resources page of this website, that was originally designed for men to flatten their stomachs. Because it is very stretchy it serves very well as a binder. Although it is hot in the summer, it is vented. It is designed to where it looks just like a tank top, so you have freedom of movement. When ordering you should order it at LEAST a size smaller than your normal shirt size. It doesn't hurt to go down TWO sizes if you are large-chested very self conscious of it. (This was the case with me) It is inexpensive at around $12 and is very easy to care for, working best if you hand wash it and hang it up to dry, as machine drying destroys the elasticity. I have always said that the most expensive is not always the best. This is definitely true in this case and with the "packer".
Alot of us guys have the annoyance of small feet and have difficulty buying shoes. (I was a 6 1/2 in a woman's shoe) There ARE shoe stores that will custom-fit you in a men's shoe, but this is very expensive. I did this for only one pair of shoes, to go with my tux, because I had wanted Rockports, so I knew I was going to be shelling out the cash anyway. You don't have to go this route but it might at least be worth checking into your nearby stores because with a custom fit you could find out exactly what size you wear in men's shoes. You don't have to buy anything. That way you could order some online from stores that have the more obscure sizes. The easiest thing to do though is to just shop in the boy's section at ANY shoe store. I don't care to do that so I have found that I CAN wear a size 7 in a men's shoe, which can be found often at Big K, Payless, or Pic N' Pay, depending on the style of shoe. This is often the cheapest option.
Clothing-If you are looking for suits, most men's stores have what they call "portly-short" sizes. I have found these at S&K and at Esquire. I believe Baron's also sells stuff for us "odd-sized" and vertically challenged guys. Sometimes Goodwill has some good deals, but only if you like to dress a couple of decades behind the rest of the world. Check out the Internet. There are a good number of mail-order companies with a Web presence. A couple of other things, its a good idea to stay away from V-neck shirts for obvious reasons. Also, suspenders can be nice but they accentuate the chest you wish you didn't have, even while bound, so thats out too. Also, if you have a large chest and are binding stay away from those knit polo shirts. Anything knit like that leaves you no escape from your chest. I just try to wear loose fitting clothes, unless I am wearing a suit. Then I will opt for a shirt that actually FITS but only because I will have a suit jacket on with it. Another thing...VESTS can be a transmens best friend. They are stylish and you can get them pretty inexpensively now. For some small chested guys-you can get away without binding if your vest is loose. Now for some good news...If you are a C-cup or smaller and will order the binder I mentioned two sizes smaller than your shirt size you can actually get away with wearing T-Shirts, as long as they are at LEAST a size bigger than you'd usually buy. This is a lifesaver in the summer when that binder has you feeling like you are in a European body wrap!
I plan to be adding ALOT more tips to this page in the future, so please check back here for updates.
