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• Phone conversation with confusing names

• Come Mr. Taliban turn over Bin Laden

• You might be an engineer if . . .

PHONE CONVERSATION WITH CONFUSING NAMES

>-Who's calling?
>-Watt.
>-What is your name, please?
>-Watt's my name.
>-That's what I asked you.
>-What's your name?
>-That's what I told you.
>-Watt's my name.

>A long pause, and then from Watt,

>-Is this James Brown?
>-No, this is Knott.
>-Please tell me your name.
>-Will Knott.

>-Why not?
>-Huh? What do you mean why not?
>-Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?
>-But I told you my name!
>-Didn't you say you will not?
>-Not not, knott, Will Knott!
>-That's what I mean.
>-So you know my name.
>-Of course not!
>-Good. So now, what is yours?
>-Watt. Yours?
>-Your name!
>-Watt's my name.
>-How the hell do I know? I am asking you!
>-Look I have been very patient and I have told
you my name and you have not even told me yours
yet.
>-You have been patient, what about me? I have
told you my name so many times and it is you who
have not told me yours yet.
>-Of course not!
>-See, you even know my name!
>-Of course not!
>-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
>-Because I don't...

>[Pause]

>-What is your name?
>-See, you know my name!
>-Of course not!
>-Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?
>-To find out your name!
>-But you already know it!
>-What?
>-See, and you know mine!
>-Of course not!
>-Exactly!

>-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your
name is, what will be your answer?
>-Watt's my name.
>-No, no, give me only one word.
>-Watt
>-Your name!
>-Right!

>(pause before it hits him]

>-Oh, Wright!
>-Yeah!
>-So why didn't you say it before?
>-I told you so many times!
>-You never said Wright before
>-Of course I did.
>-Ok I won't argue any more.
>-Do you know my name?
>-I do not.
>-Well, there you go, now we know each other's
name.
>-I do not!
>-Good!

>[pause before it hits him]

>-Oh, Guud!
>-Good.
>-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
>-No, it's Knott!
>-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now
Guud.
>-Yes Wright.
 

Come Mr. Taliban turn over Bin Laden

Very funny, recommended to turn on the speaker. A swf file from

--You might be an engineer if...--

 You might be an engineer if . . .

 . . . you have no life and can prove it
 mathematically.

 . . . you enjoy pain.

 . . . you know vector calculus but you can't
 remember how to do long division.

 . . . you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal
 force."

 . . . you've actually ever used every single
 function on your graphing calculator.

 . . . when you look in the mirror, you see an
 engineering major.

 . . . it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you
 are working on a computer.

 . . . you frequently whistle the theme song to
 "MacGyver."

 . . . you always do homework on Friday nights.

 . . . you know how to integrate a chicken and can
 take the derivative of water.

 . . . you think in "math."

 . . . you've calculated that the World Series
 actually diverges.

 . . . you hesitate to look at something because you
 don't want to break down its wave function.

 . . . you have a pet named after a scientist.

 . . . you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

 . . . the Humane Society has had you arrested
 because you actually performed the Schroedinger's
 Cat Experiment.

 . . . you can translate English into Binary.

 . . . you can't remember what's behind the door in
 the science building which says "Exit."

 . . . you have to bring a jacket with you, in the
 middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill
 factor in the lab.

 . . . you are completely addicted to caffeine.

 . . . you avoid doing anything because you don't
 want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the
 universe.

 . . . you consider any non-science course "easy."

 . . . when your professor asks you where your
 homework is, you claim to have accidentally
 determined its momentum so precisely, that according
 to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

 . . . the "fun" center of your brain has
 deteriorated from lack of use.

 . . . you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in
 order to make the math easier.

 . . . you understood more than five of these
 indicators.
 

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