Chapter Four
Author: Keishi
BIG FAT WARNING:
Contains m/m relationships
ONLY read if you are of age and open-minded!!
Gade glanced over. Drayne had smoothed all of his bangs down until they lay flat on his head, covering his eyes and making him appear mysterious.
"That you need a haircut," Gade quipped, putting his attention back on the road. Drayne scoffed at him.
"Your hair's longer than mine, rocker boy."
"Damn skippy," Gade mumbled around the cigarette dangling from his mouth. He took two quick puffs and threw it out the window.
Drayne scowled. "You could've at least let me have another drag," he complained.
"No. Way." Gade looked pointedly at Drayne. "Your parents can smell smoke blocks away, and I remember the last tongue lashing I got when you came home smelling like an ashtray. I _still_ would like to know how they found out the cigarettes were mine."
Drayne's cheeks colored, almost matching his hair, which was still hanging in his face. He ran a hand through it absently, turning to look out the window. "I'm sorry about that, man. They threatened to take away my collection if I didn't fess up."
Gade blew out a breath. "Yeah, okay, apology accepted," he said softly, smiling over at his friend reassuringly. He knew how much Drayne's music meant to him.
Drayne smiled weakly back at him. He had never meant for Gade to get in trouble over the whole thing, especially since his parents let him smoke at home. Mr. Sigvasson had taken it upon himself to 'teach that heathen child some manners,' and hadn't let up until Gade practically promised to enter priesthood. Drayne had always felt guilty for that, but at least now Gade had an idea of what he had to go through on a daily basis.
His parents weren't abusive, Drayne thought as he blindly watched the passing scenery. At least, not in the traditional sense. No one beat him; in fact, no one touched him at all at home. He could vaguely remember the last hug his mother gave him, and the only time his father voluntarily touched him was when he fell off his bike in the first grade and had to be carried back to the house. No, Drayne scoffed silently, they didn't abuse him at all; that would require actually acknowledging him as an actual person, instead of a statistic.
The junky Prelude crawled into the driveway of Drayne's house, coming to a stop in the empty driveway. Drayne didn't expect his parents to be home until late that night, which meant a dinner of instant ramen in his room where he could watch TV instead of in the dining room with his family. Drayne didn't mind; he preferred it that way.
Grabbing his bag from the littered floorboard, Drayne looked over at Gade. "Coming in for a while?"
Gade looked down at his fingers, lightly tapping the steering wheel. "Naw, man, I got a lot of homework today..."
"Aww," Drayne played up the hopeful expression on his face, widening his eyes. "Please? I haven't seen you all day and I have tons to tell you! Curse the school administration for not giving us a single class together," he growled.
That earned Drayne a chuckle, as Gade's eyes finally met his. "Well," he began, but Drayne cut him off.
"I know, I know, if I had only taken Advanced Chemistry in the morning with you and Seb," he recited, voice bored. Gade just raised his eyebrows at him pointedly. Drayne blew out a breath, then tried again. "I'll give you back a couple of your shirts if you hang out with me a while," he said while drawing some designs in the dust on Gade's dashboard. Drayne couldn't believe he was having to bribe his best friend with clothing, even if it was his own.
Gade looked sidelong at Drayne, unable to resist watching him. With Drayne's head down, Gade could see fully the long, graceful curve of his friend's neck, his hair cropped in the back, leaving it bare. He had a sudden urge to trace the line of it with his fingers, or maybe his tongue, and the thought unsettled him greatly.
He had been having similar thoughts about Drayne ever since he picked him up from school, after watching those two guys kiss while he himself was so aroused. When Drayne smoked, Gade was compelled to watch the way the long, cylindrical object fit between his lips. Every time he'd laughed, he'd thrown his head back and shown flashes of his pale, creamy throat and collarbone. The shirt he was wearing was, for once, a fitted tee, and Gade's eyes roamed over his chest almost hungrily when he'd twist and turn in the car, talking animatedly or playing with his hair. Gade had always felt a sort of warm familiarity whenever he was with Drayne, but now that was thrown out the window in the face of abject desire.
It made Gade feel sick.
"Gade?" Drayne's voice held concern, and Gade could see him moving closer to him, arm reaching out. Suddenly realizing how confined of a space he and Drayne were in, he lurched back as if burnt.
Confused, Drayne halted his movements, hand in the air. He looked at Gade, puzzled. "What's wrong?"
Gade gulped, closed his eyes. "Nothing," he whispered. "Nothing's wrong." After he felt he had control of himself again, he opened his eyes and looked at Drayne. The boy sat unmoving on his side of the car, eyes muted, wounded, and confused. Gade bit his lip.
"What was that all about?" Drayne's voice was tiny.
Gade shook his head, then realized Drayne was looking down into his lap. He cleared his throat lightly, and said, "I'm sorry, D, dunno what's up with me. Had a weird day."
Drayne nodded, still not looking up.
Gade brought his hand up, to do what he wasn't sure. Drayne looked at him warily out of the corner of his eye. Very slowly, Gade ran his hand through Drayne's hair, a comforting gesture. "I don't think it's a good idea that I come in today," he murmured, dropping his arm.
Drayne looked at Gade for a long moment, studying him, then nodded. He pulled the door handle to leave.
"See you tomorrow then."
Gade swallowed, nodded. "Yeah, see you then."
--
Gade fidgeted outside his house, halfway between his car and the door. He felt so disconcerted, like things between him and Drayne had twisted unexpectedly and he had no idea how to deal with it. He paced the walkway, jiggling his keys in his pocket nervously. It seemed like there was something vitally important he needed to say to Drayne, but the words just wouldn't come. What was wrong with him!?
Finally giving up and going inside, Gade said a distracted hello to his mom, who had just gotten home herself, and headed to his room. Sighing, he flopped down on the bed, and winced when his head hit something sharp and hard. Reaching under his pillow, Gade pulled out the VHS tape Sebastian had given him.
Scowling at it, he threw the tape across the room. A second later, he got up and picked it up from where it had landed in his pile of laundry, and popped it back into the VCR. If he was what his recent thoughts about Drayne made him _think_ he was, Gade surmised, then this would certainly confirm it for him. Flicking on the TV, Gade settled back on his bed, stretching out.
The tape began right where Gade had left off, with the two men kissing fervently while the blonde bimbo sucked them off. Gade paid no attention to the woman, instead concentrating on the guys. Their tongues slid in and out of each other's mouths, hands already beginning to roam over each other. Gade watched, at first disinterestedly, then his mind began to wander.
He thought about kissing, about the fumbling, lukewarm experiences he'd had with girls in the past, and how he generally disliked it. Then he thought about Drayne, or rather, thought about _kissing_ Drayne, and his blood heated up. He knew Drayne's lips would be soft, they looked so pale and pliant whenever Gade caught himself staring at them. He wondered what it would feel like to have a hard, flat chest against his own, instead of a softly curving, plump one. As his mind worked, his hands wandered, rubbing himself through his pants. Soon his mind worked up a delicious fantasy he simply couldn't say no to.
He imagined Drayne above him, kissing him. The hands roaming over his bare stomach and unbuttoning his pants were Drayne's delicate ones, deftly snaking their way inside to touch him. Gade gasped, arching his back. In his mind, Drayne was lowering his head, and Gade's hands were running through his bright red, silky hair. He imagined pale grey eyes glittering up at him; that soft, full-lipped mouth around his cock, tongue swirling around the tip. It was enough to make Gade come, and he did, letting out a soft, low moan as he spurted onto his stomach.
Quickly pulling off his t-shirt and wiping himself clean, Gade lay back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to control his breathing. The video played on in the background, but Gade paid it no heed, his mind reeling at the implications of what had just occurred.
He wasn't gay; he just wanted his best friend. He wanted Drayne more than he'd wanted anyone in his life.
He was in HELL.
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