Chapter Nine
Author: Keishi
BIG FAT WARNING:
Contains m/m relationships
ONLY read if you are of age and open-minded!!
He was lying on a soft, familiar smelling bed, in a familiar looking room he just couldn't place at that moment. The twin comforter was a worn navy blue, in some places threadbare but as warm and comforting as anything of recent memory. Posters of avant-garde painters and writers lined the walls, and a stack of scrawled-on notebooks were the only objects gracing an old school desk that had paint spattered across it. Wait. Gade squinted at the paint splotches, realizing they were actually words. Names. When he read his own, everything suddenly clicked into place.
He was at Chasey's. More specifically, he was lying on Chasey's bed, in his room, alone. How had he gotten there?
Laying his head back down, Gade stared up at the ceiling some more while his sluggish brain retraced last night's events. He remembered going to the party at Drayne's, and getting shit-faced and dancing with Carly for most of the night. He remembered finding Drayne outside and... oh shit. It all came flooding back to him.
The night; the clubhouse. Holding and loving, wanting and comforting. He remembered it all, including why he was at Chasey's now. Will and Drayne... how long had that been going on behind his back? Thinking back to the embrace, Gade wasn't sure what he had seen, just that it looked entirely too intimate for his tastes.
He felt his heart ripping anew as he recalled walking into that little scene. Drayne practically wrapped around Will, both facing away from him. That hand, those fingers touching the small of Drayne's back and caressing his bare flesh. Gade had become fixated on that hand. The way it had rubbed up and down Drayne's spine, tracing the curve of it minutely. It made Gade's head ache.
Or maybe that was just all the alcohol he had drank last night. Either way, he was gonna puke any second.
Rolling off the bed proved too sudden a movement for Gade's head, which was throbbing and spinning all at once. He somehow stumbled to the door and wrenched it open, battling a sudden wave of nausea and telling himself that no, his head really didn't weigh fifty pounds. He found himself some time later, face-down on the floor in the middle of the hallway. Well, he thought, as he crawled the rest of the way to the bathroom, at least he hadn't puked yet.
Fifteen minutes and one empty stomach later, Gade trudged into the living room of Chasey's small house, finding the shorter brunet occupying the lap of his raven-headed boyfriend. They were cuddling. If he could have, Gade would've vomited again right there.
"How are you feeling?" The Seb-Chasey collective asked. Gade blinked, trying to ascertain which had asked the question, but the duo kept blurring into one another, making it impossible.
"Like a freight train hit me, backed up, and hit me again. Repeatedly." Groaning, he lowered himself to huddle in an overstuffed armchair. Immediately, Chasey's dog jumped into his lap, licking his face.
"Roja!" reprimanded Chasey. "Down!"
"It's okay," Gade said tiredly, restraining the demanding ball of fluff and petting her. Roja happily settled down into his lap, avidly licking the same hand stroking her. At that moment Chasey's mom came in, dropping a six-pack of soda on the coffee table and handing Gade a cup of coffee.
"Feelin' okay, honey?" She asked, putting a hand on Gade's cheek. Accepting the mug gratefully, Gade managed a small smile for her benefit. Chasey's mother was the kindest woman he had ever met. All of the guys loved her sweet nature, and the fact that she was totally cool with Chasey's open relationship with Sebastian. Her reasoning was, now she didn't have to worry about Chasey getting a girl pregnant at sixteen, which is the age she had Chasey.
Gade nodded, crinkling his eyes up at her. She smiled back at him warmly then straightened, brushing her long brown hair over her shoulder. Almost a full-blooded Cherokee, at thirty-two Sherilynn was still a striking beauty. Chasey had mostly inherited her looks, including her strong, proud jawline. Sebastian thought both mother and son were the most beautiful creatures he'd ever laid eyes on, and never hesitated to say so. "I'll just leave you kids alone then," she said gently.
As Sherilynn left, Chasey slid off of Sebastian's lap to kneel down in front of the hungover boy. Also coming to sit on the arm of Gade's chair, Sebastian looked sympathetically down at him. "You sure you’re gonna be okay?"
Gade rested his head on the chair, looking up at Sebastian with heavy-lidded eyes. "Yeah," he sighed. "What happened last night?"
"Before or after you went storming through Drayne's house, drunk and intent on going home?"
Gade shook his head. "After. Maybe I was drunk, but I still knew what was going on. Somewhat."
Chasey made himself comfortable against Gade's legs, taking Roja from his lap and cuddling her. "You passed out, Drayne came out and tried to help us get you up. You're heavy, you know," he grinned at Gade's dark expression. "We brought you here, put you in bed and voila! Instant hungover boy."
Gade looked down. "Did-- did Drayne... I mean, did he--"
"He wanted to come with us," Sebastian said, looking serious. "We didn't think it was a good idea."
"Oh." Gade's mouth stayed open as his brain processed the information. Drayne had wanted to come with him. Not stay with Will. The thought was comforting, just a bit. "What happened to Carly? I was her ride," he said, just then recalling the information.
"Don't worry, she was able to get a ride from some guy Will knows. Pan, I think is his name," explained Sebastian. "She also wanted to come with us but she had a curfew."
"Oh." Gade couldn't seem to say anything else.
"Now its our turn to ask. What happened?"
Gade sighed. Suddenly, the steaming mug in his hands became incredibly fascinating.
"Gade..." This time it was Chasey.
Taking a small sip, Gade said, "Alright, alright. I don't really know what you want to know, but..." He steeled himself, taking a deep breath. "To sum it up? I think I'm in love with Drayne and I think he's got something going on with Will."
Sebastian flashed Chasey a knowing look over Gade's shoulder. The brown-haired boy just shrugged helplessly. "You think you're in love, or are you for sure?" he inquired softly.
Gade looked up from his coffee into earnest coffee-colored eyes. He couldn't help noticing the similarities between the two; both comforting and warm. Nodding to Chasey, he confirmed, "I'm sure. I couldn't be more if I tried."
Chasey squeezed his knee sympathetically. Sebastian's arm around his shoulders tightened marginally; both welcome gestures of comfort.
"I've been so... confused lately," he spoke into his cup. "He's my best friend, my absolute confidante. Yet all these feelings, so alien to me, keep coming to the surface every time I see him, or think about him." He looked up at Sebastian, eyes accusing. "Your little tape didn't help things, either, jerkwad." The words were venomous but lacked any threat. He sighed. "I suppose I can't totally blame this on you guys, though I definitely want to, God do I want to," he chuckled bitterly.
Turning around, Chasey lay his head on Gade's knee and instinctively Gade's hand went to Chasey's hair, running his fingers through it. "Even his hair is soft-- and his skin, God it's like cream, I want to touch it all the time. At the party, I remember watching Will's hand on his back, on his flesh, and it made me so, so... angry." His eyes became distant with memory, hand still buried in Chasey's hair. "He had no right to touch him, no right to hold him. Drayne, he was—he was wrapped around him like a lover. Like," tears formed in his unseeing eyes. "Like he should have been wrapped around me." His mouth twisted, and he wrenched away from both of his friends' grasps, wiping furtively at his face. Fuck, he was NOT going to cry. Both boys let Gade pull away, but stayed where they were, their warmth still tangible.
Chasey was the one to interrupt the strained silence, his voice confused. "Why would Drayne be with Will? I thought he was dating Theo."
"I don't know," Gade said bitterly. "I thought so, too, but Theo wasn't the one whose arms he was in when I followed him inside last night."
Chasey chewed his lip. "But that makes no sense! Earlier last night I saw Will kissing that black-haired kid, Pan. Why would Will kiss another guy if he was dating Drayne?"
Both Sebastian and Gade shook their heads. "I didn't even know Will fully swung that way," Sebastian murmured.
"Yeah," Chasey agreed. "I mean, he's always flirting--"
"Molesting," Gade interjected sourly.
"--but I never thought it was serious. Ever." Chasey raised one dark eyebrow questioningly.
Sebastian nodded, then drew a breath. "Then again," he shot Chasey a pointed look, "they have been spending an awful lot of time together lately."
Chasey's eyes widened. "You're right. Like the rides home--"
"--and the times I've called over at Will's and D's picked up," added Sebastian. Gade slunk further down in the chair, silent, frowning. His coffee was cooling.
"They are together an awful lot at school."
"At lunch--"
"--between classes--"
"Enough!" Gade sat up, frustrated. "So there, you see? I'm not wrong, they really are together! Either its that or D's appointed him his new best friend. Whichever, it still fucking hurts." He squeezed his eyes shut. Though considerably less compared to the thought of not being close to Drayne anymore, Will's alleged betrayal still cut deep. A double betrayal. He couldn't stop the few tears that squeezed out of the corners of his eyes. A hand gripping his made him open them.
Chasey's earnest gaze was threatening to further disarm him. "Gade," he said quietly. "I don't know what's going on any more than you do," he bit his lip. "However, I don't think you should just give up on Drayne. I mean, if you really do love him like you say you do," his gaze flickered to Sebastian momentarily, softening, "then I think its worth it to try and talk to him."
Gade stared, openmouthed. "Are you saying I should tell Drayne how I feel?"
Chasey nodded. Sebastian shifted, gaining Gade's attention. "I think its a good idea, too, Gade." He looked at him seriously. "Drayne deserves to know, especially if you care for him as much as I think you do."
Gade swallowed back his tears. He said nothing, mulling over their words in his head. Tell Drayne. The thought shot a stab of pain through his chest. Tell him and lose him forever.
His mind flashed on him in Will's arms. Well, hadn't he already lost Drayne, one way or another? Technically, there was nothing left to lose.
Steeling his resolve, Gade looked up into Sebastian's serious gaze. "I'll do it. I'll tell him."
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