We all have stereotypes of how a person should act. He are some examples
of common situations that occur in Japan. I didn't write all of them and
obviously not all Japanese are like those in the following skits but I find them
easy to relate to. The first may have a hint of sarcasm... I'm not sure
...
Japanese teacher working in a Australian school, talking
with their supervisor:
J: I'd like to buy a car to get to work each day and also
to use in my free time. Would this be ok?
S: Well it's better that you don't. I worry about foreigners
driving on the roads here in Australia. Most accidents are
caused by foreigners you know.
J: But I drove for 10 years at home in Japan and never had an accident.
S: But we Australian are unique in the world in that we drive
on the LEFT hand side. Foreigners drive on the right hand side of the road,
don't they.
J: Actually I thought we Japanese were unique in driving on the left. Why did
you Australians decide to copy the Japanese way of driving?
S: Well we Australians feel so humble and worthless as people compared to you
Japanese, we just had to adopt the Japanese driving style. Anyway, back to the driving. Even though
we both drive on the left, it is better that you don't drive here because of the language problems. Here,
all the signs are written in English. It could be difficult for a foreigner to read the signs,
because only we Australians can understand the English language.
J: Ok I see. Would it be possible for me to get a lift with
another teacher from school?
S: Maybe. But you have to remember the teachers are very shy about speaking with Japanese people. There are 2 reasons
for this: firstly we Australians are much taller than you Japanese. Secondly, nobody here can speak Japanese, and since foreigners can't
speak English, how could they possibly communicate with you?
J: I see. I'll walk to school then.
S: Good. Did I mention by the way that your English is very good, and I am also surprised to see a foreigner use a knife and fork so well.
And I forgot to ask, what's your shoe size? They are so small !
Because I am quite tall I have experienced this scenario countless
times..
G=Gaijin
J=Japanese
G:Konnichi wa
J:Konnichi wa. Nihon-go ga jozu desu, ne?
G:Arigato gozaimasu. Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Australiajet desu.
J:Hajimemashite. Tanaka desu. Australiajet wa segatakai desu ne. Nan centchi desu
ka?
G:195cm desu.
J:195? Sugoi desu ne. Mata, ne.
IN THE WEST
J: Japanese
W: Westerner
J: Hi. My name is Tanaka. Pleased to meet you.
W: Hey, your English is amazingly brilliant!!! You're not so tall are you? How tall are you exactly?
J: 150 cm!
W: Only 150cm? My god, I can't believe that. Why are Japanese people so small?
J: I don't know.
W: You have strange eyes compared to us Westerners, don't you?
J: Do I?
W: Oh yes. Anyway, take care, see you soon.
J: See you.
The Japanese are proud of their food and the fact that only Japanese
people can eat Japanese food .. or can they ... ?
(G=gaijin, J=Japanese)
(At a dinner party)
J: So, can you eat Japanese food?
G: Yes, I like Japanese food.
J: Oh (slightly disappointed). What about sushi?
G: Yes, I like sushi, I used to eat it back home too.
J: Oh (rather disappointed). What about Japanese pickles?
G: Oh yes. Pickles are eaten the world over.
J: (ignoring the obviously false claim, and bringing out the big guns) But can
you eat natto?
G: Love it. Eat it every day. (-natto is also eaten in Thailand, Korea, Nepal
and Nigeria, by the way (true fact)-)
J: (becoming annoyed) Well, what Japanese food *can't* you eat?
G: (being diplomatic) Well, I don't much like umeboshi.
J: (big sigh of relief) Ahh, gaijin can't eat umeboshi.
J2: Yappari, gaijin wa umeboshi ga taberarenai ne
J3: (nodding with satisfaction) Naruhodo
J: Yappa, Japan is difficult for you foreigners, ne?
Meanwhile, back home:
G: Would you like some Danish Blue?
J: I'm sorry, I don't like blue cheese.
G: (feeling bad) Oh, can I offer you something else instead? How about
Cheddar...
A Japanese person's real feelings about foreigners sometimes slips out...
JTE: How's the crime in NYC where you're from?
ALT: It's not as bad most people think. NYC is actually ranked much much
higher than most major cities in the US in crime rate.
JTE: Do you live in a bad neighbourhood?
ALT: I used to live in a ghetto part of Bronx, but moved to Queens because my
dad wanted to live in a safer area.
JTE: Are there any black people there?
ALT: Yes, but there's a growing number of illegal immigrants moving into
there. My father believes that will bring down the property value of the neighbourhood.
JTE: Good thing Japan doesn't have that kind of problem because we don't have
that many foreigners.
ALT: !!!???
That was an actual conversation between an ALT and their JTE. Foreigners =
criminals ??
Japanese often have an idea about what foreigners (Australians) are like
and sometimes this attitude is difficult to change ..
J = Japanese
A = Australian (you need some knowledge of Japanese to appreciate this one !!)
J- Nihonjin ha minna gohan tabemasu. Australia ha do- desu ka? minna pan taberu
desho-?
A- Iie, chigaimasu. gohan wo yoku taberu hito imasu yo.
J- Eeeee? Australia ha gohan aru no?
A- (becomes slightly irritated) so- da yo. Mochiron aru yo.
J- Anata ha Australia de mainichi nani tabemashita ka?
A- Watashi ha mainichi gohan deshita yo. Chuugoku kei no Australia-jin dakara.
J- Jya, futsu- no Australia-jin ha nani wo tabemasu ka?
A- Potato toka, pasta toka, gohan toka...
J- (disappointingly) PAN taberu hito inai no?
A- Pan taberu hito mo ooi yo...
J- (Abruptly interrupts) YAPPARI! America-jin ha pan taberun da!
A- (Wondering what the point of the conversation was, but gives up)... ahh,
demo... um..
so- desu ne....
(NOTE - The last comment refers to Americans because sometimes Japanese switch
interchangeably between the two .... rather like an Australian grouping
Chinese and Japanese as the same I guess ....
To see the latest issues the JET community is discussing visit the Big
Daikon
