Title: Stereotypical Insanity

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Author: C-Chan

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5

Warnings: This is a self-insert fic, so if you don’t like them, I suggest you go away. Also, there is YAOI, as in….Guys kissing, groping, etc guys. You don’t like that, once again, go away. So! Altogether, your warnings are: Self-insert, yaoi, cursing, and of course, humor.

Chapter 3 – It Begins

“THEY PAIR ME WITH WHO?!”

“Don’t look at me like that! I just read them!”

Wufei raised an eyebrow at the yelling coming from the girl’s room. He poked his head in. “What are you two doing?”

“Wu-man, you wouldn’t believe what I just heard,” Duo groaned, laying back on the bed and covering his eyes. Cassie scratched the back of her head, smiling nervously at Wufei.

“Did you know some of those…fangirls like to pair us together?” Duo asked, peeking out between his fingers at the Chinese pilot.

Wufei blinked a couple of times. He leveled a look at the blonde. “Care to explain?”

“Well…some people don’t see Duo and Heero getting together,” She started to explain, crossing her arms. “They’d rather pair Duo with you, Wufei, or pair Heero with Relena.” She shuddered. “But the most popular pairings are Heero and Duo, and Trowa and Quatre, since….well, I don’t know why, but that’s how it is.” She nodded and smiled.

“Dare I ask who I get paired with?” Wufei said cautiously.

“Hmm…well, it’s usually either Zechs, Treize, both of them, Quatre and Trowa, or Duo.” She said, then snickered at the look on Wufei’s face. “If there are any others, I haven’t come across them yet.”

“Hmph.” Wufei crossed his arms. “That’s ridiculous.”

Cassie shrugged. “That’s how it is.” Then a thought hit her and she eyed the 05 pilot. “So…who are you with?”

Wufei raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know?”

“Fangirl curiosity?”

Duo snickered and sat up. “He’s with Tro and Q.” He answered for Wufei, who just glared at him.

Cassie grinned. “Aww, that’s so cute.” She cooed.

“Shut up,” Wufei grumbled, blushing slightly and stalking out of the room. Duo grinned and turned to Cass. “He hates being called cute.”

“So I saw,” She said dryly, then grinned. “Well, I think you know as much as I do now about the pairings and fanfiction.”

“Good,” Duo replied, hopping to his feet. “I don’t think it can get any worse.”

“Oh yes it can,” Cassie muttered, then smiled innocently as Duo raised an eyebrow.

“Dare I ask how?”

“Trust me—you don’t want to know.”

***

“Hmmm…”

“Hnnn…”

“Uhhh…”

“…Darnit!”

Alex whined as she slammed her mouse down. “I can’t think of what to write next!”

Taking her away message down, she was automatically instant messaged by her friend, Megan.

xblondhunniexo: hey, hows it goin?

Alexoxoxo34: not good. i cant think wut to rite next

xblondhunniexo: o, on yer fic?

Alexoxoxo34: yeah. did you u kno how hard it is to write trowa?

xblondehunniexo: yeah. hey, theres a good site u can use if you want. it gives some good desc of the chars

Alexoxoxo34: oh, thnx! J u dun know how much i appreciate it

xoblondehunniexo: no prob

Alex smiled as she explored the site. “This will work perfectly,” She murmured, then turned back to the window blinking.

Alexoxoxo34: this works great! thnx again

xoblondehunniexo: thats the same site i used. no prob

Now geared with the information she needed, Alex put her away message back up and continued with her story.

***

“Got any sevens?”

“Hmm…go fish.”

“Damn.”

“Hey, got any kings?”

Grumble.

“Alright. Tro, got any ones?”

”Nope. Go fish.”

Duo picked a card from the pile, eyed it for a moment, then put it into his hand. Cassie eyed him over her own hand, then switched her eyes to Trowa and Wufei.

“Hmmm….” She said, going over her cars. “…Wufei, got any sixes?”

The Chinese pilot smirked. “Go fish.”

Heero walked in and raised an eyebrow at the card game. “What are you doing?”

“Playing ‘Go Fish’,” Duo replied, smiling at him. “Wanna play?”

Heero took a seat next to him. “I thought that was a child’s game.”

“It is,” Trowa nodded, shrugging. “But Wufei and Cassie don’t know how to play Poker—”

“You COULD just teach me…” Cassie grumbled under her breath.

“—and we don’t have anything to use as money.” The banged pilot finished.

“There’s M&M’s in here,” Quatre called from the kitchen. “You could use those if you want.”

“It isn’t fun with out money,” Duo sighed, then grinned. “Unless you guys wanna play ‘Strip Poker’.”

“Why don’t I like the sound of that?” Wufei muttered as Cassie practically bounced in her chair, nodding vigorously. She wasn’t about to miss out on a chance to see her five favorite bishounen naked!

Hey, she was still a fangirl.

“No ‘Strip Poker’,” Quatre said as he took his spot at the table. “Remember what happened the last time we played that, Duo?”

Duo grinned evilly. “Yep, I do.” Heero smirked at him from across the table and Quatre just shook his head.

“We could play ‘Bullshit’,” Cassie suggested; then blinked as the boys all turned to look at her, eyebrows raised; obviously they forgot how colorful she could be. “What? It’s a card game.”

She picked up the cards and took everyone’s cards, then began to shuffle. “Here’s how you play: I deal out the entire pack to everyone, and your job is to get rid of all the cards in your hand. We start with the person who gets the two of clubs, I think, and that person has to put down all the twos in their hand. It moves to the next person, they put down all their threes, and so on. If you don’t have the cards to put down, or are feeling sneaky, you can put down another card and try to pass it off as the right card. But if someone knows your faking or has all the cards for that number in their hands, they call “Bullshit!” and you have to take the entire pile. Person without any cards wins.”

“Sounds simple enough,” Wufei said. “I’ll play.”

”Me too!” Duo said, taking the cards as Cassie passed them out.

And so, they played ‘Bullshit’.

Two hours later…

“Bullshit!” Quatre exclaimed as Wufei put his cards down.

The 05 pilot cursed and picked up the pile, then leveled a glare at Quatre. “Looks like you’re getting the hang of it.”

Quatre shrugged. “You don’t have a very good poker face, Wufei.”

“But we’re not playing poker!”

Cassie and Duo snickered and watched Heero put down his cards. “3 aces.” He said, stone-faced.

Trowa, with a similar expression, put down two cards. “Two twos.”

Duo grinned and slapped down four cards. “FOUR threes!”

“Bullshit!” Cassie and Quatre called at the same time.

“DAMNIT!” Duo picked up the pile.

Cassie grinned and put down her cards. “Four fours.”

“Bullshit!” Duo yelled.

“Go ahead and check, dear.”

“….damnit! Quatre, your turn.”

“One five.”

“Bullshit!”

”Nope.”

“Aw, damnit again!”

***

Duo placed Cassie’s laptop down on the bed, then grinned triumphantly. “There, you’re all set up!”

Cassie opened the laptop and smiled brightly. “Duo, have I ever told you I love you?” She asked, logging on. “…Not the same way you and Heero love each other, of course.”

“About five times already,” He laughed. “I’m heading to bed. Don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Oh, I won’t.” She grinned. “G’night Duo. Have fun with Hee—I mean, sweet dreams.”

“Ha-ha,” Duo deadpanned, then chuckled. “See ya in the morning.”

Cassie watched him close the door, then turned back her laptop and hopped on the net. “Let’s see what still works…”

***

“Where’s Wufei?” Quatre asked, coming into the bedroom he shared with the Chinese pilot and Trowa.

Trowa glanced over his shoulder, then smiled and tugged off his shirt. “He’s downstairs reading,” The 03 pilot explained. “He wasn’t tired yet.”

“I see,” Quatre smiled, closing the door behind him. He waltzed over to the taller boy and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

Trowa chuckled and pulled the blonde closer. “I take it you’re not tired either?”

”Not really,” Quatre smirked slightly, nuzzling his neck.

“I guess I’ll have to tire you out,” Trowa countered, the pushed Quatre to the bed.

~~~

“Uhh…”

”Oh, Trowa…”

“Quatre…”

Cassie looked up and towards her door as the sounds floated into her room. She blushed slightly and got up to close the door. “As much as I like to read it, I don’t need to hear it.” She said, then returned to her bed.

---

The Next Morning:

Duo knew the moment he entered the kitchen something was wrong. The first clue was everyone was nervously playing around with their coffee mugs, the newspaper, or their hands.

The second clue was how everyone was keeping their distance from a very unhappy Quatre.

Duo decided to risk it and plopped down in the seat next to him. “Good morning!” He chirped, reaching to pour himself some coffee.

“What’s so good about it,” the blonde muttered, glowering at his own coffee. Duo blinked and looked over at Wufei, who shrugged. Cassie simply sat there and stared.

“Quat, what’s wrong? Bad night?” Duo asked cautiously.

Quatre muttered again, too low for anyone to actually hear, but he could distinctly hear the words “little one” said with nothing less than bitterness.

“’Little one’?” Cassie asked, raising an eyebrow. That sounded familiar…

“Yes!” Quatre said, exasperated. “Out of nowhere in the middle of…*cough*…he calls me that!”

Duo blinked, and Wufei raised an eyebrow.

“I’m NOT little!” Quatre continued, waving his hands for emphasis. “Do I look little?! Damnit, I’m taller than you, Wufei! Why didn’t he call YOU that?!”

Cassie sat back in her chair and muttered something.

“What was that?” Quatre asked, calming down a slight bit.

“Stereotypes,” She said a bit louder as her brow furrowed. “He sounds like his stereotypical fanfiction self.”

“Huh?” Everyone replied intelligently.

Cassie sighed and sat up straight, then rubbed at her temple. “In some fanfiction, there are…stereotypes for you guys. Ways some fans think you act no matter what. For example!” She pointed at Quatre. “One of your stereotypes is that you are weak and helpless, despite the fact you’re a Gundam pilot.”

Cutting off Quatre before he could start protesting, she pointed at Wufei. “Your stereotype is that you’re an egotistical asshole who rants about justice and ‘weak onnas’ 24/7. And Duo’s stereotype is that he’s a blabbering idiot who talks all the time.”

“THAT’S not far from the truth,” Wufei glowered, arms crossed and slumped in his seat. He didn’t like the sound of his stereotype, obviously.

“Oi!” Duo yelled. “I do NOT talk all the time!”

“Only when you’re awake.”

“’I’m so going to get you back for that one—”

“Calm DOWN!” Quatre yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Everyone stopped what they were doing and look at him, blinking. “Thank you,” he said after he had everyone’s attention.

“Did Trowa….ever act like this before?” Cass asked quietly, still rubbing her temple. “I mean, it doesn’t seem like he thinks of you like that…”

”No, that was the first time.” Quatre replied, sighing. “And now he won’t say anything to me….well, that’s not EXACTLY true…”

Cassie had a bad feeling. “Stop right there before I start freaking out. This is seriously very very weird.” She stood up and smiled slightly at Quatre. “I’ll go talk to him and knock some sense into him.” Literally, if needed. She added silently.