Title: Stereotypical Insanity
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Author: C-Chan
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5
Warnings: This is a self-insert
fic, so if you don’t like them, I suggest you go away. Also, there is YAOI, as in….Guys kissing, groping, etc guys. You don’t like that, once again, go
away. So! Altogether, your warnings are: Self-insert,
yaoi, cursing, and of course, humor.
Chapter 6 – Pink and Peanut Butter
Relena Darlian-Peacecraft glanced up as the door opened, putting
a bright smile on her face. “Hello Hee—“
She cut off when she saw it was not Heero, but a girl a few
inches shorter than herself, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of torn jeans.
Cassie smiled pleasantly.
“Hello. Can I help you?”
“It’s you!”
Cassie blinked—and noticed the other person standing in front of the door. “Amy?!”
Relena looked at both girls, both eyebrows raised. “You two know each other?”
“N-Not exactly, Miss Relena,” Amy said with a nervous
smile. “This is the girl I told you about,
remember? Who I saw with the boy you’re
looking for?”
”Oh yes!” Relena said, her smile returning.
She extended her hand to Cassie.
“My name is Relena Peacecraft, by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Cassie said, shaking the princess’ hand. “I’m Cassandra.”
“Perhaps you can help us,” Relena continued, folding her
hands primly in front of her. “I’m
looking for a boy named Heero Yuy, who is supposedly staying here for the next
week or so.”
Cassie eyed Amy, then shrugged. “No clue.”
Amy stiffened and opened her mouth to retort, but Relena cut
her off. “Miss Amy here says she saw you
with Heero and another boy, Duo, in this area a few days ago.”
“Oh? Did she mention
she was snooping around, too?” Cassie countered, politeness gone.
“No, she didn’t,” Relena said carefully. “But…that’s not the point. Is Heero staying here?”
“I’m not at liberty to say.” Cass replied flippantly,
examining her fingernails.
Biting back an angry retort, Relena straightened her shoulders
and glared. “Is he here or not?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Miss Relena. I’m sure if he wanted to see you, he would
have sent a formal invitation.” Cassie said, a nonchalant tone to her voice; as
if she didn’t care she was insulting the Princess of the
Relena turned beet red, brows furrowing. “What right do you have to speak to me that
way?!”
Cassie smirked.
“Freedom of speech, dear. Now run
along, before I start getting angry.”
She turned to look at Amy, eyes narrowed. “BOTH of you.”
Without waiting for a reply, Cassie bowed her head, took a
step back, and slammed the door.
“Hmph. Stuck up little…” She
muttered, rubbing her temples.
She glanced up as Duo stepped into the room,
applauding. “Bravo, bravo! Encore!”
Quatre followed behind him, shaking his head and
chuckling. “I don’t think I’ve ever
heard her talked to like that.”
Cassie grinned and pushed away from the door,
shrugging. “If she thinks I’m going to
treat her any different from everyone else, she’s got another thing
coming….let’s just hope she doesn’t come back.” She added, grin disappearing as
she glanced over her shoulder at the door.
“I give her two days,” Duo muttered.
~~~
“Boooooooooooored.” Cassie drawled, idly opening and closing
files on her laptop.
After finally finding some clothes, the boys had head off to
find ways to entertain themselves, while Cass relocated to the living room with
her laptop. And since all the websites
she hadn’t saved to her hard drive no longer worked, she couldn’t entertain
herself with finding new fanfiction.
“I know they’re moping,” She muttered, shutting the laptop
down and putting down next to her. “Or
at least they’re as bored as I am…”
She got up and headed into the kitchen, deciding that before
she went to distract the boys, a snack was in order. Heading towards the cupboards, she flung them
open—
—and groaned. “You
have GOT to be kidding me!” She exclaimed, glaring at the contents.
Besides a few assortments of cereal and some of those
10-minute meals, the only thing besides that was a solitary jar of creamy
peanut butter.
Slamming the cabinet shut, she quickly did a search of all
the other cabinets and the fridge.
Her search brought up jelly, bread, and an assortment of
foods she had never eaten or wouldn’t dare trying.
“The gods are against me!” She wailed, stalking out of the
kitchen. “No matter WHERE I go, I am
ALWAYS reminded of-of-of that stupid STORY!
Injustice!”
“What are you yelling about?” Wufei grumbled from the
stairs, pushing hair out of his face. He
must have just woken up from a nap.
“What have I done to deserve this torture?!” She continued as if she hadn’t heard
him. “…Oh, that’s right. I let my curiosity get the better of me. AGAIN!”
“Woman!” Wufei yelled, grabbing her arm as she paced
by. “What the hell are you ranting
about?”
Cassie stopped and blinked at him, then scowled. “Peanut butter.”
“…you’re ranting over peanut butter.”
“Yes! Did I
stutter?!”
“We have some if that’s why you’re ranting,” Wufei said
calmly, pointing at the kitchen. “And if
you’re ranting because we have it,
I’m sure there’s other food for you to eat.”
Cassie glanced at the kitchen as he pointed. “Can’t eat peanut butter,” She muttered,
barely loud enough for the Chinese pilot to hear. “Bad experience, bad memories, bad bad bad.”
“Bad experience?” Wufei raised an eyebrow.
Cassie gave him a flat look; he wasn’t affected. “Let me put it this way: I told you about the different types of
stories out there, right? Lemons and
such?”
When he nodded, she continued. “Well,
there’s also something called ‘squick’. Apparently,
a while ago there was a ‘squick week’ involving a group of fanfiction writers
or something, and someone wrote a story involving…” She trailed off, looking
slightly nervous.
“Involving…?”
“Trowa and peanut butter [1].”
“What’s so bad about that?”
“…I don’t think you get it,” Cass sighed. “Squick is meant to…well, squick the
reader. Freak them out. The story was a lemon, and…think about it.”
Wufei raised an eyebrow and looked thoughtful for a moment,
until…
“I still don’t get it.”
Cassie slapped her forehead. “Wufei, you
might want to sit down for this…”
A very quick explanation later...
“…I’ll never look at peanut butter the same way again.”
Wufei said quietly, eyes wide and cheeks red; Cass wasn’t sure if he was angry
or shocked. Or both.
“See why I was ranting now?”
Cass said, rubbing her face. “I can’t
even eat the stuff without getting flashes of that story in my head!”
Wufei very quietly got up from the couch, headed to the
kitchen, and promptly threw out the peanut butter.
Cassie watched him.
“I refuse to take the blame when someone goes looking for it.”
“Tell them what you just told me and they’ll be thankful
it’s gone.” Wufei countered.
She nodded, then leaned against the couch. “I’m not grossed out normally, but those…”
she shivered. “I mean, I can understand
some foods, but…some of them involve use kitchen utensils! I mean, even IF it’s implied…Wufei, throw out
the eggbeater while you’re at it.”
“The eggbeater?!”
“You. Treize. Implied.
Eggbeater.”
The eggbeater quickly joined the peanut butter.
Later
that night…
Duo opened the cabinet, intent on getting a midnight snack,
and reached for the jar he had placed there earlier…
“Hey, where did the peanut butter go?!”
[1] This is in reference to a 2x3x2 fic out there that
traumatized me beyond no ends (Don’t get me wrong, though. It was written pretty good. ^^;; ). It can be found on GW Addiction by Jenny
& Kimmy.