chapter one
[Taylor]
I couldn’t move, nothing in me wanted to function correctly. Six years seemed to fly backward in my mind.
“I’m leaving Taylor,” She said.
“I love you,” was all I could get out. I felt like dying.
“You know I’m leaving. I’m going tonight.” I looked back down at my book. If I ignored it, it would go away. The whole problem would go away. She would stay.
“Taylor, you’re only making it worse.”
“You can’t do this!” I snapped, throwing the book on the floor, “How can you even think about doing this to me!”
“I’m doing it for your own good!”
“You sound like my mother! This isn’t for my own good. It’s hurting me, can’t you see that?”
“You’ll see, Taylor. It will all be better for you.” “No! I won’t be happy without you.”
“Please, don’t say that.”
“Angie, please don’t leave me,” I said, gripping her hands in mine, I couldn’t let her go, I loved her too much.
“Taylor, I’m going. I have to go.”
“No, please,” I held on tighter, she couldn’t go.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“Taylor you’re hurting me!”
“Don’t leave me, Angie. Please.” This couldn’t be happening.
“Let go!” I felt her push on me and I stumbled backward. I watched her run down the stairs. My legs felt too heavy to run, and I slumped down against the wall. She was really leaving.
I was jerked back to the future.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Katie asked. Katie, she was Angie’s daughter, she was my daughter. I swallowed and stepped up to Angie.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” Angie said. I wanted to hold her, tell her I had thought about her everyday for the past six years. That I’d never fallen in love with anyone else. That I never would. And all I could get out was “hi”.
[Angie]
I looked down at Katie, who even in her six-year-old maturity, could not figure out what the hell was going on. I couldn’t even figure out what was going on. What was he doing here? I’d been trying so hard not to think about him, not to dream about him, not to wish I’d never left Tulsa. And here he was, teaching my daughter. Goddamn it.
“Mommy? Are you okay?” Katie asked.
“I’m fine sweetie.”
“Why are you looking at him like that?” I could feel heat rush to my cheeks.
“Katie, would you like to do me a favor?” Taylor’s eyes regarded our daughter.
“Okay,” Katie said, still wanting an answer.
“Could you put those instruments up over there? I’m going to talk to your mommy out in the hall.”
“Okay.” She walked across the room. Taylor took me by the arm and led me out the door. I felt a rush go through me at his touch. He was so strong, his voice was deeper. He was as beautiful as he had been, just all grown up.
“Oh, God, Angie,” Taylor said, leaning against the wall.
“What are you doing here?” I said, my head spinning.
“What do you think I’m doing here? I’m teaching children music.” Taylor sounded angry.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t know she was here, in this school.”
“She has a name, it’s Katie and you know that.” We were silent.
“I missed you…” I cut him off. I wanted him to hold me, but I couldn’t say it.
“Taylor, don’t.
“But, why?”
“Please?”
“I’m sorry.” Taylor ran his fingers through his hair, causing it to stand up in spikes. He looked distressed.
“Where are you staying?” Why had I asked this?
“I have an apartment a couple blocks from here.”
“How do you like it here?”
“It’s nice. Pretty quiet.”
“Yeah.”
“Angie, we can’t just pretend that everything that happened…didn’t happen.”
“Yes we can.”
“Angie.”
“Taylor.” It made my stomach tighten to even say his name. I could hear a little voice in the back of my mind telling me to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him, to hold him, to be his again. Just then Katie stuck her head out the door. She smiled at us.
“I’m all done,” She said.
“Great,” Taylor said, stepping away from me, “I should probably be getting home. It was nice meeting you Ma’am.” His calling me “ma’am” was like a slap in the face. I stared at him.
“Mommy, I have an idea!” Katie said excitedly. I looked down at Katie, my attention still on my fresh wound.
“What is it, baby?”
“Can Taylor come to dinner at our house tonight?” Could I handle him in my house? I was still in so much shock. I looked at my excited daughter.
“But tonight is our movie night, honey.”
“Oh yeah! Hey, he can watch the movie with us!”
“Katie, that’s nice of you to ask, but really I don’t want to get in yours and your mom’s way,” Taylor said.
“You won’t be in our way! Mommy please?” She turned the big puppy eyes on me. I sighed.
“Alright.” I said.
“Yes!” Katie cheered. I felt sick.
[Taylor]
I was so nervous I was shaking. I took a deep breath and knocked on Angie’s door. It flew open and Katie stood there with a grin on her face. She took my hand and drug me inside.
“Mommy! He’s here!” She yelled out in a singsong voice.
“Show him to the living room, sweetie, I’ll be out in a minute,” Angie called out. Katie led me to the living room and sat me on the couch. She sat down beside me and looked thoughtful.
“I know! Do you want to see some pictures of me as a baby and stuff?” She asked. I choked up. I managed to nod. There was never a moment that I’d forgotten I’d had a daughter. And not a day that I hadn’t wanted to hold her. Katie jumped up and grabbed an album off of a shelf. She ran back over to me and bounced onto the couch. She opened the album and began a wonderful narration of her short life.
“And this is me at my fourth birthday. Mommy got me a pretty pink and purple bike with training wheels on it when I was four. But now I’m too big for it. It’s in the garage.” I heard footsteps and looked up, so did Katie.
“Oh hi, mommy. I was showing Taylor some pictures of me and you,” Katie said, putting the album on the coffee table. Angie smiled at her daughter.
“Dinner’s ready,” She said, motioning for the two on the couch to follow her. They went into the dining room where Angie had put spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread. It was Katie’s favorite dinner.
“Smells good,” Taylor said, grinning at Angie. She gave a half-smile back and thanked him for his compliment. They ate and chatted about whatever Katie brought up.
“So, why did you guys act so funny when you met?” Angie looked at Taylor in shock. He was choking on his water.
“What do you mean, sweetie?” Angie asked, feeling the blush in her cheeks.
“That whole “Oh my God” thing,” Katie imitated them.
“Uh, well…” Angie stuttered, looking to Taylor for help. He just looked at her, at a loss for words.
“I know something is up, that is why I wanted Taylor to come to our house so I could find out,” Katie’s honesty caused Taylor to breakdown laughing. He put his elbows on the table, his head in his hands, and laughed. Angie just stared at him.
“Well, she’s to the point isn’t she?” He asked, looking up.
“I guess so,” Angie sighed.
“Well?” Katie demanded her blue eyes wildly curious. What were they going to say?