Angie stood up groggily. She made her way to Katie’s crib, and picked her up. She rocked the week old infant slowly in her arms.
“Hush baby,” She sang softly. Her eyes closed as she swayed with the baby. She was so tired. That was part of being a mother though. Katie was quieting down, so Angie laid her back in the crib. She crawled back into her own bed and closed her eyes. She always had a hard time getting to sleep because she started to think the minute she laid down. She would picture Taylor holding Katie, and something would swell inside her. He was just a child himself, and he had a daughter. All because Angie couldn’t control her sex drive. She didn’t want him to have to sacrifice the small bit of childhood he had left, because of her.
“I want to know if you’re going to take Katie,” Angie asked bluntly, the next morning at the table. Everyone regarded her silently. She bit her lip and tried not to cry.
“No,” Mr. Hanson said, taking a drink of his coffee.
“Then I want to go. I don’t want to stay here and ruin your lives anymore,” Angie said, her hands trembling. Taylor looked at her in shock.
“No, you can’t go!” He exclaimed. Angie didn’t meet his eyes. She swallowed and nodded her head.
“No! Dad! Angie, you can’t go!” Taylor was crying. Angie continued to stare at her plate. She wished she could just disappear.
“I’m sorry, Taylor.” She stood up, and walked quickly back to her room. She heard someone following, and knew it was Taylor. He grabbed her arm and pushed her gently against the wall.
“I love you, and I love Katie. You can’t leave me!” He sobbed. Angie pushed past him, her heart breaking into thousands of pieces.
“Angie, please!” Taylor called. Angie shut her door tightly, and sank down to the floor. She put her hands over her ears, not wanting to hear Taylor pleading with her. This would be for his own good. He would realize that later on. He would find someone who deserved him. Angie could hear Taylor’s father talking to Taylor, and soon they both walked away. Katie woke up, and began crying. Angie took a deep breath and stood up. She walked over to the crib and picked Katie up. She sat on the bed, letting the baby nurse, wondering where she would go. She briefly considered going back to New York, but then decided that definitely wouldn’t be the thing to do. She searched her mind, trying to think of somewhere with someone she knew. But, there was nowhere other than New York. Maybe, she could go back to Nevada. That’s where she had lived until she was twelve, and ran away. She had lived in Las Vegas, before meeting the man that would become her first pimp. She lived with him until she was nineteen, and they were living in New York. She had left for a while, coming back later. Angie shook herself from her past when Katie finished. She laid her on a baby blanket beside her on the bed. Angie ran her fingers over Katie’s white-blond hair.
“What are we going to do Baby Katie?” She whispered.
The next few days were unbearable. Angie could feel Taylor’s wounded look on her back at all times. He held Katie constantly. Angie knew he was hoping she would stay, but she wasn’t going to. She had decided to go back to Nevada. Back to Rockwell*, a little town about twenty minutes from Carson City. She had the ticket sitting in her top drawer. She didn’t tell Taylor that she had already bought it. She didn’t want to tell him goodbye. It was going to hurt more than anything did. She hated seeing him cry. She put hers and Katie’s few things in the large suitcase, and a couple of duffel bags. She was leaving tomorrow evening. It seemed to be a long wait, but there just wasn’t enough time. Mrs. Hanson was the only one who knew where Angie was going. And Angie told her to never tell Taylor, no matter how hard he begged. Angie knew that it hurt the woman to see her son so distraught, but didn’t argue.
“I’m leaving Taylor,” Angie said, standing in Taylor’s bedroom doorway. Taylor looked up at her.
“I love you,” was all that he said. Every time those words came out of his mouth it was like another dagger in Angie’s heart.
“You know I’m leaving. I’m going tonight.” Taylor looked back down at his book.
“Taylor, you’re only making it worse.”
“You can’t do this!” He snapped, throwing the book on the floor, “How can you even think about doing this to me!”
“I’m doing it for your own good!”
“You sound like my mother! This isn’t for my own good. It’s hurting me, can’t you see that?”
“You’ll see, Taylor. It will all be better for you.”
“No! I won’t be happy without you.”
“Please, don’t say that.”
“Angie, please don’t leave me,” Taylor said, gripping Angie’s hands in his.
“Taylor, I’m going. I have to go.”
“No, please,” Taylor’s grip tightened. He was beginning to cut the circulation off in Angie’s hands.
“Let go.”
“No.” Angie winced at the pain. She tried to draw her hands out, but couldn’t.
“Taylor you’re hurting me!”
“Don’t leave me, Angie. Please.” Taylor pleaded with her.
“Let go!” Angie pushed forward on Taylor, causing him to almost fall over. She turned around and ran to her room. She pulled the bags out from under her bed and brought them downstairs. She picked Katie up, and put on her shoes and hat.
“I’m ready to go,” Angie said to Mr. Hanson. He nodded.
“Did you tell Taylor goodbye?” He asked. Angie nodded. It hit her that she had never told him goodbye. She just said she was leaving.
Angie stepped out of the plane into the hot Nevada sun. The people milled around her. She felt a million miles away from everything else. Nobody here knew her past. No one paid her any attention. She was starting over. And it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her entire life.