Insanity. Eggs, sausage, omelets and waffles in the morning. Pizza, salad, soup, hamburgers the rest of the day. Add some concoctions for dinner (including a stir fry, shrivled sweet potatoes... other shit). Your stomach goes empty, you eat there. Your wallet gets empty, you work there. Eating just becomes another one of those burdens, and you fill yourself just enough to last. Or you eat if you're bored. You work there, but you don't know which manager is the head manager. It doesn't matter, really, unless you're applying for another job. But work is an entirely different story that I won't bother you with.
You leave work, go down the damn hall, and you're at home. Same goddam building. Your roomate thinks it's horrendously dirty there, but where's the dirt? On me, I guess.
The point is, campus is a little world that, unless you have a car, you're stuck there, for the most part. Sure, you can walk to a DIFFERENT store, but going to a store without money (to me) is useless. It's wandering aimlessly. I hate shopping.
What the hell do I want then? A familar face. To work on my deteriorating friendships, so far away. I haven't even seen Julie since June or so, and we always used to laugh about how someone someday had confused us for sisters. Or Emily. In middle school through early high school, she was my sole friend and confidant (for the most part). I could tell her anything. And I could tell you some of the crazy ass stories. But it faded, unfortunately, after I couldn't get over an incident that has been irrevalent for a long time. By the time I got over it, Jessica had found her because she needed someone to worship her.
Then Jeffrey sort of became my confidant. That's something I would never take back. I think I would go crazy if he wasn't here with me. But sometimes, I need to see old faces. Like Anna, Rob... Beth, my mommy. The people who were there for me during the worst night I have had thus far.
What I need a sporadic escape from is this little world. A certain person who likes to bitch about everything. The repetition. The stress that wears me down so much, that I just sit there and stare off. I needed an escape from the tie-wearing, boy hurting piece of shit girl. But some things just don't dissolve like you'd like.
Adapt, he seemed to say.