Past Masters - the Archives

Week 69 - week ending 21 December 1999

Due to some "technical dificulties" (read as Hotmail ain't so Hot afterall, and can't read all my POP mail), I have been unable to complete judging fior this weeks competition.

So, I've given you another one to carry on with in the meantime, and I'll attend to it as soon as I get back from holidays.

Which reminds me - have a happy time these holidays and don't overdo it this New Years - I want ya all back next year for more caption competitons!

Later... (about 5 Jan 2000 - yes, I survived into the New Year!)

OK, managed to get to my email.... Lets see, what have we here...

Some downright odd ones here... must be the holiday season *wink* There are a few along the lines of caption on the picture. Of these, the best is probably Gregory P. Now maybe I can use mental telepathy to get his prize out to him...

This weeks picture was snapped by yours truely

"Right now mental telepathy and my wireless Laptop Cam work about the same!."

Other Entries

Michael K. -

"The make up artist said that they would only be a minute."

"Have you done hiding? "

"Jenni told me to wear this mask and now it wont come off!"

"C'mon where is my kiss, keep me waiting any longer and you wont wake up with your manhood."

Bob S. - Jennifer, always testing, uses the Tesla wireless method to transfer data directly to the brain stem -- bypassing the monitor and eye balls!

007 - Jenni just seconds before her forehead makes contact with the monitor.

Ron6590 - "What the hell possessed my to promise them a lap top connection?"

nashtbrutusandshort -

"No, no, no. You're supposed to use the first two fingers to find your pulse -- the palm just isn't sensitive enough. No wonder she's always freaking out and calling 911."

Jenni began to fade during hour sixteen of Bravo's *Berlin Alexanderplatz*athon.

"Yep. Nothin' cures insomnia like a Cowboy Junkies album."

KayeAnne15 -

"And now... ear flexes! one... two... one... two.."

"Bandaids.. I mentally command you all to send me bandaids..."

"Damn.. urf... superglue! Now my hand is stuck. Um... uh oh, what if those weren't my eyedrops?"

"Non-drowsy formula, my ass!"

"Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep they'll all go away..."

"Geoff... if you can hear me... Tampax..."

"Brain-drive rebooting. Please wait."

"No, now that I think about it, the clicking sound is coming from this side..."

"Maybe having all those Jello-shots was a bad idea..."

Next time on the Jenni Show: Jet lag... fact or fiction?

Generik -

Jennifer was very pleased with her audition for the lead in Iggy Pop's "Turn Blue" video; very pleased, indeed.

Once again, JenniCam is on vacation. This week, in its place, we bring you Nodding Out JunkieCam.

"Get rid of that double chin the easy way, with the all-new hand-held Home Liposuction Kit... only from Popeil, makers of the Pocket Fisherman!"

Dreamin' La Vida Loca.

o/` "When Jenny gets bluuuue..." o/`

"We now take you to our regularly scheduled program, Suddenly Snoozin', already in progress."

Taylor B. -

With the power of intense concentration, Jennifer moves the hairball off the floor without touching it.

"Help me somebody!"

"Is there a computer doctor in the house?"

Jenni magically seaches the internet with her mental powers.

Jenni is taking a quick nap right now. Please come back when she is awake.

"Two words---Slow computer."

"No wonder the connection isn't working, the phone line is hooked up in the wrong place."

"I have a very bad sleeping disorder. Whenever connections don't work, I fall asleep."

Louis C. - "Now that everybody thinks I'm working.. maybe I can catch up on some sleep!!"

James K. - "Jenni?... Jenni?... Jennnnniiiii... WAKE UP!!"

jensenblu -

"Nyquil...will help you get your zzzz's"

"There's no place like home...there's no place like home"

Carter F. - "Must not ...be... distracted by .... ..dancing ..... of small Trols below... concentrate..must not fall....asleep."

Matt L. - "See, I can actually sleep while appearing to be doing my work. Not a bad trick, eh?"

Lance - Blink

vsial - "He said 2 Advil would work wonders!"

Jeff B -

Irate when Jenni pushes the wrong button, her laptop delivers a devastating palm strike attack.

While checking her pulse Jenni sees just how far she can stick her fingers in her neck.

MaryAnn C. - After mind-melding with her computer, Jennifer creates the perfect remote cam solution.

NATKILLER - "If I concentrate hard enought I can do my work with my eyes closed. It's a Jedi mind trick I picked up."

ranger -

" 'I'm outside the mall waiting in line. Gotta beat the other shoppers. Be back around noon. See ya then.' (heh heh heh...thank God for the *yawn* kitchen cam and the *aaahh* bedroom cam. That ought ta keep those nosy people busy for at least a good ten hours.)"

Jennifer failed to realizes that the y2k bug found it's way into her egg timer, thus it failed to wake her at the appointed fifty nine seconds..."

Mark C. - "Wake me up? No. Honest. You didn't wake me up."