Past Masters - the Archives

Week 74 - week ending 14 March 2000

I was *very* tempted to give this weeks one to the Goofy entry from DrPatMan - but it is a bit of an old joke (grin - but I *do* like it!). So, this week I have decided to award the win to Generik. Now we *know* the Truth is truely out there!

BTW, Generik and a few of his friends have been having loads of fun with these little competitions over the past few weeks, and I just want to assure them all, they *will* get their prizes eventually.

This weeks picture was found on Jennifer's Gallery - yeah, the "funky" one.

Jennifer shows off the face she made a few years back that started all that fuss down in Roswell.

Other Entries

Bryan D. -

"I didn't say to turn on the ISDN YET!"

"Ya know, I really do wonder what she does during those 59 seconds....."

LDS - "What EXACTLY was in those brownies, anyway??"

Daniel W. -

Jenni audtions for the Momenshawn Mime troop over the net.

"Romper-Bomper-Stomper-Bo Tell-me Tell-me Tell-me who. Magic Mirror tell me today, Did all my friends have fun at play. I see Lisa, and Jill, and Billy, and Miss Nancy, and ..."

Tony Y. -

"... Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Elton John!"

Even though she was only seeking a consultation, Jenni's concern quickly mounted over the low-tech methods employed by her plastic surgeon."

Being unable to afford a mask made it impossible for America's newest super-hero, CAMGIRL, to fight crime and protect her secret identity at the same time. Super-Hero is a tough business to break into.

"I'll be ready in a minute, just let me put on my face..."

Jenni demonstrates do-it-yourself psychic surgery on her sinuses.

Generik -

The Artist Formerly Known as Junior Birdman.

Flipper-baby Jen has learned to live happily with the fact that her mother used Thalidomide during pregnancy.

Failed Superhero #46: Racoon Lass.

The effects of the Magic Dust, left by the Christmas Elves in the Purple Christmas Box, still haven't worn off.

Go, Speed Racer; go, Speed Racer; go, Speed Racer, gooooooo!!

From the Walt Weis Collection of Celebrity Photos, we see Jennifer Ringley in the now-famous "goggle-hand" pose.

Joe S. - Jenni, realizing she hasn't had new glasses for a while, gives her opthamologist an idea of what she would like.

Boyd -

Jenny prepares to land the "Good Ship Lollipop" after inadvertently refilling her Pooh PEZ dispenser with Prozac.

Once again Jenny goes looking for love with all the wrong faces.

Mark E. -

"Hey! Wait a minute! These are not my hands and arms!"

"Just wait until those pesky aliens monitoring Earth's Broadcasts get a load of this!"

Perfgeek -

"Golly gee, now all I need is the cape!"

Jennifer could not conceal her joy over finally finding an effective cure for sinusitis.

[voice of Dudly Doright] "Here I come to save the web!"

Jenni looks cool in the empress' new shades.

"Now just a slight turn anticlockwise and the head should lift right off."

Harold G. - "Not only can you see me, now I can see you too!"

nashtbrutusandshort -

Sure, it was much cheaper than a pair of sport goggles -- however, Jennifer soon realized that to play racquetball, she needed at least one hand free.

Jennifer has been known to sit like this for hours, waiting for George Will to surf by and see her making fun of his glasses.

"Cool! Lemme see if I can do that. Okay... elbows up, rotate forearms 180 degrees... *rip* *snap* *tear* OWWWW! MY ARMS! Call 911! Call 911! Please! I can't dial the phone anymore! Help!"

Gregory P. -

"Now lets sing my favorite camp song, 'UP IN THE AIR JUNIOR BIRD MEN ...' "

"I forgot my Mardi Gras mask so I'll make a mask with my hands. Now how do lift up my shirt for some beads?"

amycamus -

"Don't call us, we'll call you" was the only response Jenni received to her video audition for the lead role in the remake of "The Incredible Mr. Limpet."

The worst thing about coming to Mardi Gras unprepared was the strain on the arms.

Despite the fact that others sigh audibly every time she does it, Jenni persists in making the same ridiculous gesture every time Picabo Street's name is mentioned.

warrior - "Hey Jenni fans, look at my new glasses."

Charles C. - "Good news. My doc says I have a mild case of "webcam-eye-tis",and it will go away on its own with 2-3 days of sleeping at night in complete darkness."

Mike H. - "With my super secret TurboGal goggles, I can rule the world!!!!!"

DrPatMan - Mickey Mouse to divorce lawyer..."I didn't say she was cheating on me....I said she was fucking goofy!"

Kilted1OR -

"Up Up and AWAY! Junior Birdman!"

"This week, our Faithful Heroin leeps off into airwaves to fight the Dark Forces of Boredom and Censorship! Join her as she flies to the defense of Free Speech and soars to Victory over the sinister forces of Oppression!

"Don't forget your secret decoder ring!"

Louis C. - "Hmmmf, who needs expensive 'rose colored glasses', this works just fine!"

tazy - Snoopy brings his trusty Sopwith Camel around onto his arch-foe's tail: "Curse you, Red Barron, I finally have you in my sites...".