Past Masters - the Archives

Number 83 - week ending 15 August 2000

Mark E. thinks that Jennifer may need to practice before heading to Asia.

This numbers picture was found on Jennifers Gallery.

Getting ready for her next Asia trip, Jenni works hard on how to use Japanese toilets.

Other Entries

Robert S. - The new Jenni bum exercise -- 1, 2, and then rock; 3, 4, and then roll!

Joe Smith - "I can finally sit on my furniture without that dam streaming camera.."

Lara P. - Jenni moves out of the way and watches as the ants carry away her lunch. Its definately time to call an exterminator.

nashtbrutusandshort -

*crunch crunch crunch* "Well, if you know an easier way to crack walnuts than rolling my buttocks back and forth over them, I'd like to hear it."

Lots of people do this while watching Richard Simmons. Problem is, Jenni does it while watching Emeril LaGasse.

"OW! Maybe this cannonball thing would work better in a swimming pool than it does on a coffee table."

Jordan S. "Jenni to control, all systems go... 3... 2... 1... ignition..."

Dangerous Dan -

Jenni takes a distance learning course on "How To Breakdance".

"It may not be the most comfortable chair, BUT I BUILT IT MYSELF!"

"I really don't think that this coffin is the right size, can I see one that is a little longer."

Jenni sets a "RAID VAMPIRE TRAP" in her new apartment."

Lumpy - "Hey Dex, we haven’t done it here yet!"

Race1 - "If I stay like this, that mouse can't get me."

perfgeek -

"Six cats and I still can't get rid of all the mice!"

The new JenniCompass.

Having lost the spinner in the last move, Jenni improvises for a game of Twister. "Head to purple, feet to blue."

"It is one thing to keep a cat in a bag, quite another keeping six in a box."

Gregory P. -

Jenni, pretending to be a richter scale, is waiting for the next California earthquake.

"What are the three most important rules in running a web cam: Balance, Balance, Balance."

Jenni passing time, Jenni passing gas, you decide...

Jenni fan-tastic -

"OK,now, grap your knees. Ah,Ah,Ah.... we didn't say Simon says!"

"No,no,no... It's spin the 'bottle'."

"It's my treasure chest and you can't have it!!"

Jenni works out to Polkadot Door. "Head and shoulders and knees and toes, knees and toes ... knees and toes."

"Jenni, Jenni, Jenni.... How many times have we told you? If you want your own way, hold your breath until your face turns blue...not, hold your knees until your butt turns blue!!"

Whippet63 - While watching CNN coverage of the Republican National Convention, Jennifer lifts her feet from the floor because "the shit is getting deep, boys."

James A. - "Dex, call the Guinness people and find out how much longer I have to hold my legs up for the record. Dex?"

Generik -

Somehow the "Coffee Table Rock" dance craze never really took off...

Suddenly, just as she got into position, Jennifer came to the realization that "butt-printing" her furniture probably wouldn't keep it from being stolen... or lost in delivery on the next move.

Jennifer decided to take a LaMaze class, not because she was pregnant, but just for the credits and something to do.

"...And this is my imitation of a big old coffee cup. Get it? Get it?"

"Gosh, Suzanne Sommers makes this look so easy on her infomercial!"

"Well... at least I didn't paint myself into a *corner* this time..."

"Eek! A mouse! Oh wait... it's attached to my computer. Heh... never mind."

This is figure 1 of the nuclear attack positioning diagram... figure 2 will demonstrate how to lean forward and kiss your ass goodbye.

Larry - "After being without furniture for so long, you really do get used to sitting on the hard floor."

Guy Y. "If I sit really still like this, everyone will think their streaming video has frozen again."

tazy - With too many hands now on deck, Jennifer now lists to starboard.