Past Masters - the Archives

Number 85 - week ending 9 January, 2001

So, I hope you all had a pleasant holiday - and that we are al ready to dive headlong into 2001.

Well, what can I say about some of the entries - Bazooka Jen, bank robberies... hmmm. However, a few did jump out at me as worthy recipients of this numbers prize: I like the inventive references to Star Wars, and certain middle-eastern coutries - and, of course, Bill The Cat nearly made it... However, I have to give it to skels. Programming restrictions? Indeed!

Keep up the good work - see you in two weeks time!

This numbers picture was sent by Jennifer herself!

"Due to programming restrictions some parts of broadcast will be blacked out."

Other Entries

lukes - If only she had more wool she could rob a bank!

Robert P - Desperate for a change of style, Jennifer turns to Bazooka Joe for fashion ideas.

C.R.Dicken - "I am Lothar, God of hell-fire! Bow down before me and pay homage to my altar!"

Tony Y. - "Live at http://www.bondagejenny.com "

Charles - Bazooka Jen!

Adrian O. - Although chagrined to see another victim succumb, Mulder was pleased to report that the new mutated strain of the black oil was somewhat easier to detect.

Kevin N. - Jenni, running low on money, practices her armed robbery technique.

Thomas S. - "The bank robbery can begin! Or should I also take a hat?"

Whippet63 - Jennifer (hiding her face in embarrassment) cannot believe how long it has taken Tazy to come out with the "Early November" contest. [Tazy sez: 8^P]

Mike G. - Bazooka Jenny

Tony S. - It's Bazooka Jen.

David P. - "It's Woody Allen emerging from a turtle costume - get it?!?"

nashtbrutusandshort -

[typing] Dear Diary: The black turtleneck does not seem to have convinced the regulars at Club Beatnik that I'm one of them. I wonder what I'm doing wrong.

Jenni prepares for her audition for Andrew Lloyd Webber's *Baader-Meinhof! The Musical*.

Jenni fails to notice that her new knit turtleneck is labeled not merely "clingy" but "smotheringly co-dependent."

Jon P. - "Naturally, every girl wants fresher breath."

Allison Z. - Hmmmmmph hmmmph hmmmmmmmmmph hmmmmmmmmmmph hpmmmmmph hmmmph hmmmph hmmmph.

Generik -

The rights to JenniCAM have been sold to King Features Syndicate, which now proudly presents BazookaJoeCAM.

"This one goes out to all the people who objected to the naked pictures."

"Always disguise yourself when hacking into the Pentagon's computers, kids -- that's tip number one!"

After the sex change, Jughead and Archie drifted apart. If it weren't for Jughead's occasional emails, Archie would have lost contact with her altogether.

"I thought California was supposed to be warm and sunny year 'round. What's up with this cold? There's frost in my nostrils, and my nipples are so hard they could cut glass!"

"Right now I'm only a semi-Ninja. I won't be a full Ninja until my boys and the hood get here."

"I'm writing to you all today to tell you about the terrible conditions of women in Afghanistan under the rule of the Taliban..."

theo B. - She'd pissed Anthony off really bad this time. The next step was "the corn field" for her...

MrAtomik - Desperate for cash, Jenni attempts to hold up SevenEleven's website.

Mr_Grant - Jenni relocates to Tehran: After the Religious Court orders Dex's penis chopped off as punishment for public Internet nudity, Jenni decides the recommended black bodystocking is not such a bad idea after all.

Nbutlerdidit - JENNI: "That's right, give me all yer loot, jes like the note says! What? No, you've never seen me before."
BANK TELLER: "Yes, I have -- omigod, you're Jenny from JENNICAM! HEY EVERYBODY! I'M BEING ROBBED BY JENNY FROM JENNICAM!!!"
JENNI: "Aw, crap."

David B. - "Who would have thought that the star of Jennicam would turn out to be Bazooka Joe..."

Bob S. - "There are benefits to joining SETI@home!!!!"

Wabbit Californicus - Suddenly Jenny's breathing started to get raspy & hoarse. She gasped, coughed -- and her roommate could have SWORN she'd heard the words "Luke, I *am* your Mother!", but could never be too sure.

Kktakman - "Dear Lands End, one size fits all pantyhose I ordered did not fit as well as I hoped..."

abracadaver - Unbeknownst to Jenni, she's slowly being erased, to be re-drawn as Bill the Cat at a later date.

Mystic_cobra - This photo brings 2 words to mind......NO NECK!!!

TJ13 - "Hmm, maybe, JUST maybe, if I pull my shirt up like this, everyone will stop watching and leave me alone.Nope, I guess not."

tazy - "When the label said to take care when washing as the colours might run, I didn't expect *that* to happen as soon as I put it on!"