Past Masters - the Archives

Number 95 - week ending 28 August, 2001

This number was quite a "religious experience" for some of you! And I guess the "light" does tend to suggest that connection - or the other one, the aliens coming theme. So, its a toss up between religious connection and pesky aliens...

I think the "God Squad" win and of those, the best one has to be the one from David G.. Sure, its long-ish, but I like it, and thats what counts.

This numbers picture was found on Jennifers own Gallery.

~JENNI! ~God? Is that you? ~YES JENNI. BY THE WAY, I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN. ~Gosh, thanks. ~ANYWAY, WE'VE BEEN TALKING THINGS OVER-- ME, MY SON AND MY HOLY GHOST-- AND WE'VE DECIDED TO LET YOU IN. ~Let me in? ~YES. INTO HEAVEN. ~Right now? ~WELL, YES. ~It's just that I just did my nails and they're not dry yet... ~OH, THERE'S NO RUSH. *beeep* UH, COULD YOU HOLD ON? I'VE GOT A CALL ON MY OTHER LINE. *click* o/ Heaven / Heaven is a place / a place where nothing / Nothing ever happens... o/ ~I wonder if I should ask if Heaven is a place that's wired for DSL...

Other Entries

Agent_Moldy - "Look, I'll 'go into the light' in a minute! Can you _not_ see that my nails are still drying?!"

JAUSTRALIS - "HALE-BOPP?? AGAIN? Damnit! HOLD on!!! Let me go get my Nikes.."

IMissMST3K -

"'Scuse me, God?! Um, that would be a no... I'm the VIRGINIA Mary. Besides, I thought You already DID that!!"

Edna regretted having put in a skylight, being so close to the Federal penitentiary and all...

questor - "It seems the Chandra Levy search is getting out of hand"

Buck Turds - "Not now God, I'm doing my nails..."

Kevin S. - Jenni finally discovers a rare talent for swatting flys without looking!

wareagle - " And God looked down on Jenni and Said "

Dwayne S. -

"Wait! I thought the aliens weren't coming back until NEXT Wednesday!"

"Fireworks already? Its only one o'clock in the afternoon!"

"Dex, I don't think this sunlamp you installed in the living room really dries my nails any faster..."

"Dex, what SPF did you say I needed for these new lights?"

"I have to practice my backhand..."

"OK, I think this 'Sunny California' bit has gone too far."

Tony Y. -

"Jesus!"

The creepy peeping-tom special effects guy next door tries again to convince Jenni that he's her guardian angel.

The first horseman of the apocalypse carries with him an angelic paparazzi.

Dex apparently had neglected to read the 'use only outside' warning on his Fourth of July fireworks.

Wednesdays are Dex's night to fix dinner...

"When you put in a 150-watt bulb in it, it ceases to be accent lighting."

Unable to afford fireworks this Fourth of July, Jenni is forced to content herself with shadow puppets.

Generik -

"Yes, Lord, it's me, Jennifer, and I just wanted to demonstrate to you how I will smite the unholy infidel with mine hand, and then rise up to... huh? What? Oh, well, okay, fine, then, I won't. I won't. ...I *said* I won't, okay, you don't have to get snippy with me! Sheesh!!"

"Oh, crap, not ANOTHER damn alien abduction! My rear end's still sore from the last one!"

"Second Coming of the Holy Messiah, and you're on in five... four..."

"Harvey, you're the best pal a girl could ever have. So... tell me again what it was like to work with Jimmy Stewart..."

For some reason the hand-airplane game doesn't seem to work as well in the living room as it does in the car.

dscalf - "DEX , stop it you cheap ass I buying tickets to cancun that !that!"

Sue C. - "Dex, Your family are beaming down again!"

Jeff G. - "I'm tired of this darkness. Let there be light, lots of light, and right now!"

Robert P. - "What's that, God? 'Thou shalt not post thy ass on the Internet'? I don't remember hearing that one in Sunday school."

tazy - "What the...!, who parked the car on the roof with the headlights shining through the skylight..."