Part 3 ************ “Did you pick up your toys?” Max finished unpacking a box as he talked to his son. Noah called out from his room. “I am now.” Max shook his head, dumping the empty box in a pile by the window. He glanced at his watch, then to the door of the master bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he walked to the door, curling his hand into a fist. Gently tapping his knuckles on the door, he whispered so as not to startle Liz. “Liz, are you ok?” “Uh huh....just uh....just give me a few more minutes.” Max nodded even though he knew that Liz couldn’t see him. “Well, if you need anything...I’m right out here.” He turned to leave, but changed his mind. He laid his palm flat across the door, pressing his cheek against the wooden surface. “I love you, Liz.” Liz whispered back, her voice sounding closer than before. It was almost as if she was doing the same thing that he was. “I love you too, Max.” Max closed his eyes, pulling himself away from the door. He had to do something, something keep his mind off of what was going on with Liz in the bathroom. She had asked him not to get his hopes up, and he was really trying, but it was difficult. He walked down the stairs, looking for something to do, when his mind drifted back to another time. It was their sophomore year in college. Noah had just turned four, and Max had transferred out of ACC to UNM. Life was going great for their little family, and no matter what life threw at them, they got through it with flying colors. Being on the same campus as Liz had given Max and her more time to spend together. They had even shared a few classes together, making their lives that much more interesting. It wasn’t until Isabel and Alex had announced their engagement did things get a little more, intense with Max and Liz. It wasn’t as if their relationship wasn’t intense enough, but Liz had thought that she was pregnant. At first, she had been frightened to tell Max, knowing how hard it would be for them to have a baby when they were still juggling school, work, and raising a four year old son. She had taken a home pregnancy test, hoping to have it tell her that she wasn’t expecting, but as it turned out, the test came out positive. She had agonized over how to break it to Max, not knowing how he would take the news. As much as he wanted to have children with her, he had a gnawing fear in the back of his mind that what happened to Tess could very well happen to Liz. He had confided that in her, telling her that he was glad that she was still on the pill, because he really didn’t think that he was ready to have to face that fear yet. It was an ongoing battle with Liz, one that didn’t go unnoticed by Max. He had cornered her, asking her to confide in him, because he hated seeing her so upset all the time. That on top of being her husband, and her lover, he was also her best friend. He hoped that whatever was plaguing her was something she could share with him because they had always promised that they wouldn’t keep anything from each other. Liz broke down, telling him the news of her pregnancy, relaying her fears to him. Max had been shocked. He had comforted Liz, not saying much of anything. He just held her in his arms, trying to soothe her even though his emotions were shot to hell. It wasn’t until the day after, when he was on his way home from work that he decided to take a walk to clear his head. He had walked for hours passing by numerous stores on his way. On his way back to the jeep, he noticed a children’s store. Hoping to clear his mind a little more, he walked inside, looking at the various toys. Maybe by pure coincidence or maybe in his subconscious, Max ended up in the infant section. He walked passed the little tables, his fingertips dancing lightly across the delicate trinkets. He stopped by some baby blankets, his hands marveling at the softness of the material. A smile touched his lips as he remembered the time that he first bought Noah something. It was a little after he and Tess realized that she was pregnant. Things had been rough for her, and he had hoped getting her something for the baby would cheer her up. He stopped by a toy store, his attention grabbed by all the different toys. He couldn’t decide what to get, his arms full toys. His mind was going a mile a minute, trying to decide, when his eyes landed on a little boy carrying a stuffed Pooh Bear. He was dragging it on the floor, his little hand tugging on his mother’s sleeve, trying to get her attention. Once she did, he pleaded with her to have the plush toy. The boy’s mother had refused at first, but seeing the way her son’s lower lip trembled, she caved. Seeing that scene in front of him, Max had made the decision to go with the Pooh Bear. Returning back to the present time, Max chuckled, realizing that Noah wasn’t able to use the stuffed toy until he had grown a little older. His thoughts turned back to Liz and he remembered how upset she had been. He wanted her to know, that whatever happened, he loved her. That her being pregnant was a godsend and that they would make it through. He grabbed a baby blanket from the table, purchasing it. The drive home had been a good one. Max had suddenly began getting giddy at the thought of having a baby around the house again. He had never been around for Tess’ pregnancy, not for his lack of trying though. But he was happy to know, that he would be there to experience everything with Liz. That everything she would be experiencing, would be something new for him too. He had walked into their apartment, wearing a grin on his face, the size of Texas. He came in to find Liz playing with Noah, her happiness back in full swing. She had looked up the moment he walked in, their eyes locking. She ran to him, throwing her arms around him. “I’ve got great news, Max.” Max smiled into her neck, kissing her lightly. “I got you a present.” He handed her the package, his amber eyes twinkling. “I hope you like it. I know I was a real jerk yesterday when you told me, but....but now that I’ve thought about it...” He cupped her cheeks, willing her to see his happiness. “Liz, I can’t wait to have this baby with you.” At his words, Liz’s face crumpled. She looked to the unwrapped package in her hands, her eyes watering. “Oh, god....Max...” Max tilted her face to look at him, his heart aching at the sight of her tears. “Liz, what’s wrong?” “I’m not pregnant, Max....I...I just got off the phone with the Dr. and she said that it was a false alarm.” Max looked at her, confused. “But...but what about the test that you took?” Liz wiped away at her tears. “She...she said that they weren’t 100% accurate. That they were wrong sometimes......I’m so sorry, Max.” Max swallowed past the lump in his throat, forcing a smile on his lips. “Don’t be sorry, baby....It wasn’t meant to be....at least....at least not yet.” Liz held the baby blanket in her hands, her sobs threatening to consume her. She tried to speak, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. She buried her face in Max’s chest, feeling his warm tears falling into her hair. The two of them stayed that way for a long time, both of them grieving for a child that they had never created. Max wiped the wetness from his eyes, as he returned to clearing out the living room. The sound of footsteps behind him caught his attention. He turned to see Liz standing with her hands behind her back, the expression on her face unreadable. “Did everything go ok?” Liz only nodded, walking until she was standing face to face with him. He waited with baited breath to hear what the result of the test had been. He bit his tongue, trying not to seem pushy. She kissed his lips amorously, her hands running through his hair. She pulled away, smiling. “I just want to say a few things first before I tell you what the result was.” It was Max’s turn to bob his head, as his voice seemed uncooperative. “The last time we took a home test....well, it wasn’t exactly reliable, so I’m not going to put all of my eggs in one basket, so to speak...I made an appointment with my Dr, and I’m going to see her after work.” Max just nodded, his anxiety eating him up. She cupped his cheek, her hand brushing it tenderly. “I know how tough it was for you the last time when you thought....when you thought that we were going to have a baby....I just don’t want to lead you on again.” Max was about to tell her not to worry about his feelings, when the last part of her sentence struck a chord in his mind. “Are you...?” He had to swallow a few times, just to make the words come out. Liz tried to keep the excitement from her face, but her eyes betrayed her. “We’re not really going to know for sure until I visit with Dr. Walker on Monday.” Max closed his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. He hugged Liz to him, his breaths ragged against her cheek. “I love you so much, Liz.”