Part 34A ************ Maria watched as Michael walked like a zombie around the apartment. He still refused to acknowledge what happened the day she found him crying, and she hadn’t pushed it. She hadn’t said anything, not wanting to nag him, especially if he wasn’t ready to talk about it. She was waiting for him to open up to her and share with her what was bothering him, but he wouldn’t do that. She had told herself that she would be strong and hold them up, be she wasn’t so sure she could do that. Michael hardly spoke anymore, and Joey had called in sick the past couple of days. She had to wonder if they had anything to with the other, the sudden withdrawal of the two of them making her a little suspicious. She remembered how Michael was so willing to help Joey with her search, and now, anytime she would mention that Joey was once again not going to show up to work, he would pretend that he didn’t hear her, or simply change the subject. She loved Michael dearly, and she believed in giving people their space, but this was getting out of hand. She feared that if she didn’t confront him now, he would just bottle it up inside and pretend it never happened. The time to do something was now, and she was more than willing to step up to the plate. She was Maria Deluca-Guerin now, and she wasn’t going to sit around and be the whole relationship while her other half disintegrated right before her eyes. ************* Alex flipped through another baby book, skimming the information. Since he had found out that he and Isabel were going to have a baby, he had beefed up. He must have read a million books, visited every website, spoken to family, and attended every class. Knowing all of this didn’t make it any easier on his nerves. With only a few more months to go, his anxiousness was getting the better of him. “I thought you already read that one,” Isabel teased as she eased herself next to Alex on the bed. He made a move to help her, but she wouldn’t have any of it. “You know, when I told you to get tips from my brother, I didn’t mean for you to pick up his over protectiveness.” She waved away his good intentioned hands, sitting against the propped up pillows. Alex sighed heavily, giving her a weak smile. “Sorry, just a little nervous I guess.” “A little nervous?” She raised a slender eyebrow at her husband, her hand touching his cheek gently. His eyes were dark, deep in thought. “Yeah. The baby’s due in a few months, and suddenly I’m feeling really unprepared. Almost as if I’m not ready.” Her eyes blurred quickly with tears as she misunderstood what he was saying. “Oh.” He noticed her sudden withdrawal, quickly picking up on her confused emotions. It was a weird sort of connection they had developed over the years. With that little ‘Oh’ he could already tell what was bothering her. He twined his fingers in her hair, his smile genuinely happy. “That’s not what I meant, Iz. I’m more than ready for this baby to come.” His other hand drifted to her rounded belly, gently caressing the area where their baby lie. “I’ve waited my whole life for this moment, it’s just I can’t help but worry that I might not be a good enough dad or something.” He sighed heavily. “You know, I look at Max, and I wonder how he does it. I look at him, and I think to myself how I’m ever going to be so in tune with our kids.” She pressed her cheek against his, pulling back to giggle. “What’s so funny?” he asked almost defensively. Her finger traced a path down his chest, her head shaking from side to side. “You just said kids. As in plural.” Her lips curled into a full blown grin. “We haven’t even gotten through this pregnancy yet and you’ve already got more kids planned for us.” Alex’s cheeks took on a flush, his head ducking down. “And you say you’re worried about not being a good enough dad.” She kissed his jaw, her hand coming to rest over his that lay on her stomach. “Alex, you’re going to be an incredible father.” She tipped his chin, forcing him to look into her eyes. “You already are.” He leaned down to kiss her lips, transferring to her all of the love he felt for her and their unborn child. As if to make it’s presence known, the baby kicked, startling both Alex and Isabel apart. They looked at each other, excited grins on their faces. They looked down at their entwined hands, letting out similar squeals as the baby kicked again. Alex reached for the phone, dialing quickly. “Mom?…..Just calling to tell you that the baby kicked.” Isabel sat back, watching amusedly as Alex called his mother to share the news. She squeezed his hand, snuggling into his side as he continued making phone calls to everyone they knew. “I love you, Alex.” **************** Liz lay her head on Max’s shoulder, enjoying being in his arms. They had just finished eating dinner and were now lounging on the couch. She watched as his hand ran up and down her arm aimlessly, his mind a million miles away. “Hey.” She nudged his side, getting his attention. “Huh?” He shook his head as if to clear it. He offered her a smile, but he knew that she wasn’t buying it. “Everything okay? You were gone there for a second.” He kissed the top of her head, pulling her closer into his side as if he couldn’t get her close enough. “Sorry to space out. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She traced a pattern on his forearm with her finger. “What kind of things? Anything I can help with?” Max let out a humorless laugh. “I’m afraid not, sweetheart.” Liz sat up, the look on her face playful as she tried to make him forget about whatever had him in a funk. Ever since he had stopped by the hospital the other day, she had felt him distancing himself a little. It hurt, she admitted. It was like he was keeping something from her purposefully. “You sure about that?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “There’s really nothing I can do?” Her finger dipped into the waistband of his jeans, curling as she tugged on a belt loop. “Not even charm your pants off?” The laugh that erupted from his lips that time was genuine. He touched the tip of his pointer finger to her nose, shaking his head. “Well, my little vixen. I’m pretty darn sure you can charm the pants off of me.” He winked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “In fact, I can recall many occasions when you’ve done just that and more.” “But…?” she asked leadingly, enjoying the sudden lightheartedness of the conversation. He pulled back, his amber eyes sparkling. “Kids are still awake.” He pushed her hair away from her neck, placing an amorous kiss at the sensitive skin, causing her skin to turn to goose flesh. “We’ll have to wait a little while.” She nodded, enjoying his kisses. Her eyes drifted closed as he continued to pepper her skin with soft nips and kisses. “Liz?” Her head lolled backward as the tension eased from her muscles. “Hmmm?” “Does it bother you?” He continued to kiss her, trying to hide the seriousness of his fears behind kisses. “Does what bother me?” “That….that I’m mediocre?” He had said the last part so softly, she almost thought she made it up. But the way his hands were clinging to her sides, she knew that it wasn’t something she had imagined. She sat away from him, her hands cupping his cheeks. “Mediocre? Where would you get an idea like that?” Her heart hurt as she saw his beautiful amber eyes cloud with tears she knew he was desperately trying to hold back. He bit his lip. “I’m not exactly a great catch. I had a kid before I was seventeen.” His eyes dropped. “My job doesn’t even pay more than yours.” “Is that what this is?” Her hand held his jaw, making him look at her. “That you’re not making more money than me?” A confused look passed over her eyes. “I thought…..I thought you said that you were proud of me…..my job?” Max’s eyes shot up, his hands resting against her face. He felt like an ass for upsetting her. He hated making her question herself, and that’s exactly what he had done. “Liz, of course I’m proud of you. Considering I dropped all of this baggage on you when we were so young.” “Get this straight, Max. You, and Noah….I’ve never considered the two of you as baggage.” A sob escaped her lips as his words hurt her. “I stepped into this family more than willingly.” She pulled her knees up to her chest as she threw him a sad look. “Why are you saying these things to me?” His mouth opened and closed as he tried to explain his stupidity. The sound of the phone ringing roused Liz from her spot on the couch, making him feel empty and very alone. “Hello?……Yeah, this is Liz……Now?….Are you serious?” She looked grudgingly at the clock, refusing to look at Max. “Yes, I understand……I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She put the phone back, grabbing her keys and purse. Alarmed, Max grabbed her arm, his eyes dancing with worry. “Where are you going?” She pulled away from his grasp, slipping her arm through the strap of her purse. “I have to go back to the lab. There was some kind of problem with the tests we ran this morning, and now I have to go back and redo them tonight.” His eyes flew to the clock. “Right now?” “Yes! Right now,” she answered, more than a little agitated. “Is Josh gonna be there?” He couldn’t help but ask. Little alarms were going off in his head, something telling him that he shouldn’t let her out of his sight. Liz shook her head, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t even start with that, Max. I’m not in the mood.” She ripped the front door open, turning to him quickly before disappearing. “Kiss the kids goodnight for me.” Max watched her leave, wanting so much to go after her, but knowing he couldn’t just leave the kids alone inside the house. He reached for the phone, dialing Kyle’s number. “Hello?” “Kyle, it’s Max. I need your help with something.” Part 34B Rating: Heavy R NOTE: Just a warning to everyone who isn‘t comfortable with reading about an intent to rape or violence against women. Nothing too graphic, but I don‘t want to get stoned. ******************* With her hands on her hips, Maria walked to Michael who was lounging in his sweats watching infomercials on tv. “Are you ever going to talk to me again?” He stiffened, then looked at her eyes, his gut churning at the hurt he found in them. He ran his hand down his face. “Maria, we’ve been through this.” She sat on the arm rest of his chair, pleading with him to look at her. “No, we haven’t gone through this. I don’t even know what this is.” She pointed to the air around her as if that would give her answers. “Michael, I don’t want to be this pushy, overbearing, nagging wife. But I can’t just sit back and let this unfold right before my eyes and not do anything about it.” “Nothing is unfolding. Nothing is happening.” He crossed his arms defiantly, feeling like an ass for being so closed off, but not knowing any better. He hated bottling all of this inside, but he had no idea how to open up and let it all out. “That’s the problem. Nothing is happening.” She picked at his disheveled state. “You’ve been in these sweats for almost a week now. You don’t come to work, leaving Carlos to do all of the work. You never talk to me, and when I try to talk to you about Joey, you get- Michael stood up, grounding his teeth. “Could we please talk about someone other than Joey?” He ran a shaky hand through his hair, his feet beginning to pace. “That’s all we ever talk about. Joey this, Joey that.” Maria pointed a slender finger at him, standing up herself. “That’s what I’m talking about. That right there. Every time I even mention her name, you get all weird.” “Weird!?!” He all but yelled. “I am not getting weird. It‘s just I have to wonder why you mention her at every conversation.” “Maybe up until a little while ago, you were beginning a great friendship with her, and now you cringe every time I mention her name.” She walked towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Did something happen?” “Maria, give it a rest. I don’t want to talk about.” He shrugged her hand away, slinking back down on a chair, his exhaustion showing. But Maria wasn’t through. She had had enough experience with the Michael Guerin stone wall, and she wasn’t stopping until she broke through it. “Look, I’m tired of this. When I married you, I didn’t realize I was marrying myself.” “Maria- She cut him off, the fire in her eyes burning brighter as she continued. “I can’t be the whole relationship, Michael. A marriage doesn’t work that way, and if don’t understand that.....maybe we really aren’t ready to be married.” ************** “Are you sure you’re okay with doing this?” “Yes. If this will buy you some time then I’d be more than willingly to help Liz stay away from that creep.” Kyle held the phone tightly against his ear. “Court, I really don’t want you doing this. If there was any other way...” “I’ll be fine. You just run that background check, and I’ll make sure to spend my lunch hour with Liz and stay until either you or Max can come and get her.” “Just be careful.” **************** Liz pushed the door to her office open, ready to gripe to herself when she found Josh sitting in her chair, a Cheshire grin on his face. She held a hand to her chest, her body shaking slightly. “Jeesh, you scared me.” She stepped inside, making sure to not step too close to him. She eyed him warily, her hand dipping into her purse for her pepper spray. Max had given it to her a while back, saying that she could carry one just in case. She had laughed him off saying she would never need it. Especially in Roswell. But with the slightly crazed look in Josh’s eyes, she was very thankful that Max was a persistent husband. “What are you doing in my office?” She tried to keep the tremor from her voice, trying to appear calm and unafraid. He pushed himself away from the desk, standing up. He walked towards Liz, a grin plastered to his lips as he slinked closer. Liz stepped away from the door, trying to keep away when she realized he had tricked her. He had pretended to move closer to her, but in reality, he only wanted to trap her. He closed the door, turning back to her with gleaming eyes. “What’s with all of the questions? You seem pretty leery of me tonight, Liz. Friends aren’t leery of their friends,” he said with sarcasm dripping from his tone. Liz walked around to her desk, placing a physical barrier between them. She knew it wasn’t much, but at least it was something. The guy was making her skin crawl, and she wondered why she had come in the first place. If she hadn’t been so immature and left Max.... Her eyes drifted down to her family portrait, her heart clenching. Sometimes, she could just kick herself for being so self centered, and being a complete fool. She knew how sensitive Max still was when it came to the two of them. He had it in his mind that he somehow didn’t deserve her, when in reality, it was the other way around. She reached her hand to touch the picture when her eyes caught sight of the lab tests from that morning. She picked them up, flipping through it. “I thought you said that there was a miscalculation?” She studied the results closer, finding nothing wrong with them. “They’re perfectly fine.” Josh shrugged his shoulders, leaning casually against the door. “My mistake. I thought there was something wrong, but obviously there isn’t.” Liz shook her head, placing a hand to her temple to keep the vein from pulsing too strongly. “You’re telling me that you made me drive out here for nothing? For some stupid misunderstanding?” He moved quickly, and was now standing in front of her desk. “It wasn’t all for nothing, Liz. It’ll give us some time to get to know each other a little better. Alone.” She walked around the desk, pushing past him. “I don’t have time or this. I have to get home.” Before she could get to the door, he grabbed a hold of her arm. She looked down at her arm, then glared at him. “Let go!” She pulled at her arm to get it free, but he just squeezed harder. She kicked at him, trying to wrench her arm from his grasp. “You’re hurting me!” He shook his head, pulling her close. “It’s always been more fun that way.” The tremble that passed through her body showed her obvious fear, and he only laughed. “Don’t act so surprised Liz. This was bound to happen.” His hands wrapped around her waist, coming to rest on her ass as he pulled her roughly to him. “You’ve practically been begging for it.” She punched and kicked at him, using her voice to scream, but he only covered her mouth. She bit his hand, causing him to pull back suddenly. “Bitch!” Liz tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed her, throwing her across the desk. She whimpered at the pain, but that paled in comparison to the fear consuming her as he pulled her by the legs towards the edge of the table. He spread them carelessly, stepping between them as he fumbled with his belt buckle. “Just for that, I’m gonna enjoy this even more.” He smiled evilly, his hand ripping her blouse open. She went to scream again, but he gagged her with a handkerchief. The hot tears streamed down Liz’s face as Josh leaned over her. She was so scared and there was nothing she could do. He had pinned her small body down with his weight, and now she couldn’t even scream. She closed her eyes painfully, regretting leaving Max so suddenly. She had been so stubborn, so foolish. And now, her foolishness was going to land her in so much hot water she didn’t even know if she could live through it. Right as she felt his breath on her skin, a loud pounding was heard at her door. They both looked up, but Josh squeezed his hand around her neck, warning her not to try anything. “Liz? It’s Courtney. Open up! I’ve got dinner.” Josh stayed silent, waiting for her to leave, but she didn’t. She knocked on the door incessantly, her voice coming in louder. “Liz, open up! I know you’re in there.” She paused, her heart thumping heavily in her chest as she felt an invisible hand squeezing it. Something was feeling really off. “If you don’t open up, or at least answer me, I’m gonna call security.” Josh cursed under his breath, taking that gag out of Liz’s mouth. He picked her up, keeping his hand tightly around her neck. “You tell her to leave, and not come back. Cos if you don’t, and she doesn’t keep her pretty little nose where it isn’t wanted, I’ll make sure to do her too.” Liz nodded, choking a little. She felt Josh loosen his grip enough so that she could talk, but not enough to let her run away. “I’m fine. I’m really, busy, Cee....I’ll just talk to you later, okay? Just go....please.” Courtney leaned her head on the door. “Are you sure? You don’t sound okay.” “Make her leave!” he hissed in her ear. “Cee, just leave. I have a headache, and I have so much work. Just go! Please!” she begged. There was silence on the other end, before they heard Courtney’s defeated tone. “Sorry to bother you. I’ll see you later.” The soft patter of her footsteps faded as she disappeared into the corridor, leaving Josh grinning menacingly down at Liz. “Good girl, Liz. I may just take it easy on you.” He licked the outer shell of her ear, delighting when she cried harder. Part 34C Rated: R (language and a little violence.) *************** Liz turned her head to the side as Josh leaned down to kiss her lips. He took her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t turn away from me, Liz.” His hand ran through her hair, sending shivers of disgust to run through her. When Max would do that, it would instantly calm her down. When Josh did it, it frightened her. “This doesn’t have to be so bad.” He sighed as he caressed her jaw. “It wasn’t even supposed to go this way, but you’re one heck of a fire ball. And that stupid husband of yours....” He grabbed the picture from the desk, throwing it onto the ground angrily. “I don’t know how you can want someone so....he’s not even good enough for you Liz.” He leaned in real close so that his breath made the hairs on her arms stand. “He’s a good for nothing, second rate piece of shit.” Josh was so busy taunting Liz that he was startled when the door flew open. “Get the FUCK off her!” When Liz heard Courtney’s voice, she pulled her knee up, kicking Josh in the groin. As he doubled over in pain, she slipped from under him, then ran behind Courtney. “What is this? Charlie’s angels?” he laughed watching as Liz cowered behind Courtney. He stalked towards them with a slight limp, shaking his head. “This was the biggest mistake you could have made.” “Security is going to be here any second to detain you, and not to mention the fact that the Sheriff is heading down here to personally bust your ass.” She gripped a bottle in her hand, getting ready to use it as a weapon if he came any closer. He stiffened at the mention of the authorities. He pointed an accusatory finger at Liz. “Hey, all I have to say is she lead me on. She’s a fucking tease. First she wants it, then she doesn’t.” “They’re never going to believe you. It’s over.” “Like hell.” Panicking, he pushed past the two women, knocking them over as he ran for the exit. Courtney was the first to sit up. She helped Liz to stand, checking her over. “Oh God, Liz are you okay?” Liz shook her head, hugging her arms around her body. Security ran down the halls with a screech. “Where is he?” “That way. He ran that way.” Courtney pointed them to the direction where he disappeared. Sheriff Valenti wasn’t far behind. As he saw the two girls, he ran to them, feeling sick to his stomach. “Are you girls alright?” Courtney nodded. “I’ll live, but.......” She turned to Liz, who still wasn’t speaking. She cried silently, rocking back and forth. Jim kneeled down beside Liz, shaking her shoulders gently. “Liz, honey are you okay?” She buried her head in her lap, her sobbing getting a little louder. “I can’t....I don’t want to be here.....please.....please.” The blood in his veins roared angrily as he watched Liz’s shattered appearance. She was like his own daughter, which only made this even more personal. “Liz, sweetie. We’re gonna have to take you down to the station to ask you a few questions.” “No!....no no no no no.....” she muttered over and over again. “I don’t think she’s ready to answer anything yet, dad. I think it would be best if we just took her home.” She looked at Jim, tears filling her eyes as she spoke. “Kyle’s over at their house with Max....maybe he could ask the questions?” Jim nodded solemnly. He led them downstairs to the cruiser, wrapping a blanket around Liz. “Deputy Hanson is going to bring the two of you home. I’d do it myself, but I want to make sure we get this guy tonight.” They slipped in the back seat of Hanson’s police car, with Courtney hugging Liz tightly to her side. “Thanks for saving me, Courtney.” Liz whispered silently. Courtney smiled sadly. “I wish I could say that it was a pleasure, but.......” *********** “What did you find out?” Max peered over Kyle’s shoulder, trying to get a look at the computer print out in his hands. The silence made Max’s nerves stand on edge. “It’s not good, Max. Says here he was arrested for sexual harassment, but he wasn’t convicted.” Max grabbed his keys, ready to run out the door. “Where do you think you’re going?” “To Liz. There is no way I’m leaving her alone with that bastard.” He reached for his jacket, nodding to Kyle. “Watch the kids.” As he pulled the door open, he was stunned to see Courtney and Liz at the front door with Deputy Hanson. He looked down closely at Liz, noting how she was covered in a blanket, an excess of tears continuing to flow down her cheeks. “Liz?” The way his voice cracked made her cry harder. She threw herself in his arms, wanting to lose herself in him. Courtney thanked Hanson, stepping inside. Max held Liz closer, his arms running up and down her back in an effort to soothe her, but nothing he did seemed to work. “What’s going on?” “Josh....he tried to...he....” Courtney felt the tears fall now. When they had been at the hospital, she had tried to keep it together for Liz. Now she was barely hanging on by a thread. “He tried to....but, but we stopped him...” she stumbled over her words, breaking down into Kyle’s arms. Max pulled away from Liz, looking down into her frightened face. “Liz?” The blanket fell from her shoulders, revealing her tattered clothing. He stiffened, teetering on the edge of murder as he took in her appearance. “I’m sorry.....Max, I’m sorry..” she begged. His heart broke even more as he listened to her apologize for something she did nothing to deserve. He hugged her tightly, his eyes turning to Courtney. “ He did this?” She nodded. “The sheriff....they’re looking for him right now.” “What do you mean looking for him?” he asked incredulously. “You mean he’s still out there somewhere?” he shouted. “He got away. Liz and I....we couldn’t stop him.” Kyle kissed Courtney’s temple. “That’s okay. It’s not your fault. Dad will find him.” “Liz, baby...” He bent his knees so that he could look into her eyes. His lip trembled as his eyes clouded with unshed tears. She smiled weakly. “Don’t say it Max.” She placed her finger against his lips. “I just.....I wanna forget about it.” She shivered involuntarily. “I need to shower....I need to get...that smell....” He nodded mutely. “Courtney? Do you think you could help Liz clean up in the bathroom?” “Sure.” She took Liz gently by the arm, but Liz turned back to Max. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll be right here with Kyle when you get back.” He offered her a tight smile, watching as she left reluctantly with Courtney. He once again clutched his keys in his hands, walking to the door when Kyle physically stopped him. “If you’re doing what I think you’re doing- “Don’t stop me, Kyle. If I have to, I’ll rip your head off too. There is no way I’m gonna let him get away with this.” His jaw was tight, his teeth grinding. “Don’t you think you should let the law handle this? My dad’s out there personally making sure this bastard goes to jail,” he said unconvincingly. Max’s tears fell then, but he swiped at them angrily. “I was the idiot that pushed her away tonight. It’s my fault that she even went to that damn office tonight.” He made another advance to the door, but Kyle stepped in his way. “Max, as your friend, and as a police officer, I advice you to not go out that door.” Max looked down at Kyle’s hand pressed firmly against his chest to keep him from leaving. “If it were Courtney. Would you let the law handle it?” Kyle was silent as he mulled it over. He finally stepped aside, letting Max through. “What am I supposed to tell them when they come down?” “Tell them I went for food.” He pulled the door open, trying to make a hasty escape when Kyle’s voice stopped him. “Make sure to fuck him up real bad.” Max nodded, closing the door behind him. “You can bet on it.” Part 34D **************** Liz pulled her knees to her chest, letting Courtney run a wash cloth down her back as she sat in the tub. She turned her head, a small smile on her lips as she tried to show her gratitude. “I….I don’t even know how to begin thanking you for what you did. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t…. ” she choked on her sentence, not able to continue without thinking about the horrible repercussions of Josh’s horrific acts. “Liz, sweetie…..don’t even mention it.” Her hand rested on Liz’s shoulder tentatively for support. “I’m only sorry that I didn’t come sooner.” “There was no way you could have known.” Liz stood up, wrapping a towel around her body, then slipped into her robe. She sat on the edge of the tub, her head shaking as she played the events over in her head. “All that time….he played me. I knew…I knew inside that something was off about him. Something was telling me not to trust this guy, but I bought into it because he fed me some sob story.” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. “I can’t believe I was so stupid. Tonight….even Max tried to tell me not to go, but I was just so frustrated and angry…” Courtney sat beside her, letting Liz’s head rest on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s not your fault. That sicko knew that you had a kind and giving heart, and he used that against you. And about Max…whatever happened tonight….whatever misunderstanding you guys might’ve had, you have to know that Max loves you and would never hold you responsible for anything.” For maybe the millionth time that night, Liz’s shoulders shook with the force of her tears. She had cried so much that she had to wonder where it all came from. She wiped away at the wetness, her voice soft. “That’s the problem. Max never holds me responsible. He shoulders…he puts everything on his shoulders to protect me.” She leaned her elbows on her knees, shaking. “Everything and anything that goes wrong, he thinks that it’s somehow his fault. He’s gonna blame himself about tonight and if I confront him, he’s gonna deny it. He’s so caught up in keeping me safe that he ends up distancing himself from me and he doesn’t even realize it.” “Have you….have you told him about this?….About how you’re feeling?” Liz’s head swayed from side to side. She ran a weary hand down her face, letting out a heavy breath. “I don’t know how it got like this….Usually, Max and I talk about everything till kingdom come. But somehow there’s been a breakdown in the communication.” The laugh that escaped her lips was almost bitter. “When we were in high school, I used to think that love would solve everything. I still believe that in some ways, but I never saw this happening. I never knew that growing up would be so hard.” She paused as she thought about how she used to be then. “I thought I had it all figured out, and then something like this bites me in the ass and I realize that I live in the real world. That not everything is always going to be peaches and cream. I’ve been living in this cocoon with Max and the kids, and you guys and everything was so great. So picture perfect that I forgot that anything else existed and that it was possible for anything to burst into my safe little world.” Courtney was silent, not knowing how to respond. She didn’t even know where to begin. But she did know one thing. Everything Liz had said was true. They were so happy sometimes that when something tragic happens, it was like a slap in the face. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You know, it’ll take a long time to get over this, and probably even longer to heal, but you have to know that it is possible. Just don’t shut out the people who love you when they try to help. When Carrie and Chris passed away, I thought it was the end of the world. Nothing I did in the beginning seemed right, but having Kyle there and everyone else, it made it easier. I know that this….what happened tonight has nothing to do with that, but that was one of the most trying times in my relationship with Kyle. If I didn’t trust him, and open up to him, and vice versa, I don’t think we could’ve made it through.” Courtney’s advice hung in the air for a few minutes before Liz hugged her. “Thank you, for everything.” Courtney just nodded, patting Liz’s back. Liz pulled away, moving towards the door. “I’m just….I’m gonna go sneak into the kids’ rooms. I never got to say goodnight.” As she turned the knob to leave, she stopped, turning back to look at Courtney. “You never did tell me how you knew that I was in trouble.” “You called me Cee. You never call me that. When I heard you say that, I knew that something was definitely wrong.” A real smile passed over Liz’s lips, realizing that they had all gotten so much closer over the years that they were able to distinguish something so unelaborate like that. She mouthed a simple thank you, heading off to see the kids. *************** Michael landed heavily on the couch as he listened to Maria relay what had happened with Liz and Courtney. Amy had called to tell Maria the news when Jim had left to take care of the girls. Somehow, all of the anger he held for Joey; his mother, seemed trivial. He was angry at her for something she couldn’t control. Hearing about how Liz was almost taken advantage of reminded him that his mother was taken advantage of herself. He never really thought about how that had affected her. Hearing about Liz, someone he loved like a sister made it seem more real. He could almost see it from Joey’s point of view, and he realized that he couldn’t afford to waist this precious time. They were given a second chance, and he couldn’t screw that up. Growing up, other kids had teased him, saying he was an inevitable screw up. His family was one thing he could be proud of, and say that he didn’t screw up. Joey was a part of his family, and Jamie too he realized. He smiled, thinking that now he really had family that was blood. A mother, and a little sister that sought him out. If that didn’t count for caring, he didn’t know what did. He stood up, holding Maria’s hand tightly. “I’m ready to tell you everything, but we have to go to Joey’s before it’s too late.” **************** Liz kneeled beside Noah’s bed, watching the peaceful way he slept. She touched his cheek gently, wishing that she could keep him safe for the rest of his life. “I love you so much, precious.” Noah stirred from his sleep, his hands rubbing the sleep away. He squinted against the light coming from the open door, smiling when his eyes focused on Liz. “Momma…you’re here.” She hugged him tightly, trying to keep from breaking down in front of him. Her heart clenched in her heart when his little hand patted her back in comfort, immediately sensing her distress. He reached out to comb his fingers through her, squeezing her just a little tighter. So much like Max, she thought. She sat back, smiling through the thin sheen of tears coating her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to tuck you in, precious.” He shrugged, grinning that half smile he inherited from Max. “It’s okay.” The smiled dissipated from his lips, his hand resting on her cheek. “You’ve been crying.” His words were more a statement than a question. Just like his father, she could hide nothing from him. He frowned, his curly hair bouncing atop his head as he shook his head. “I don’t like it when you cry, momma. It hurts.” Liz struggled to remain calm, biting the corner of her lip. “Where does….where does it hurt, precious?” Noah placed a hand over his heart. “In here. It gets all tight like I can’t breathe, and then I feel like I wanna cry too.” His sensitive nature made her heart swell, and inside her heart, she knew that he was going to be exactly like Max when he grew up. They were already so much alike that the only difference between them other than the physical aspect was that Noah didn’t share his father’s shyness. He was outgoing, and friendly to everyone, something she thinks he got from her. Or at least she hoped he got from her. “Don’t cry anymore momma. It makes me sad, and daddy too.” “Oh precious.” She hugged him again. “No more crying, I promise.” ************* Max had been driving around Roswell, looking for any signs of that scum. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles had turned white. So many emotions were running through him that he almost felt like a live wire. If anyone were to get to close they were set up for a shock. He shifted gears, his hand clenching to relieve the tension in them. All he could think about was Liz, and how he had failed her tonight. He had managed to not just hurt her emotionally, but even physically too. He was the reason she had run out, and he knew that he could never forgive himself for that. He had promised to protect her, and the one time she needed him the most, he wasn’t there. He couldn’t even think about what would have happened if Courtney hadn’t had been there. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, and it was all he could do to keep himself from throwing up. Angrily, he swiped at his tears with his fists, trying to catch his breath. He still had some unfinished business and he wasn’t going to rest until that bastard paid for going anywhere his sweet, sweet, innocent angel. He rounded the corner, banging his fist irately against the steering wheel. He had been driving around for what had seemed like hours and still no sign of that @#%$. How hard could it be to find him in a place so small? It almost felt like he was playing that game, “Where’s Waldo?”. His words died in his mind as he caught sight of Josh slipping out of his car, filling up at the gas station. He had a baseball cap conveniently covering his head as a disguise, but Max would be able to spot him anywhere. It seemed like Joshy boy was planning a trip. The search for Waldo was over. *************** Noah stood outside of Leah’s nursery, listening to his mother’s hiccupping breaths. She had told him to go to bed, but he couldn’t. Not until he knew that she was okay, or was at least being taken care of. He sighed, padding down the stairs. He caught sight of Kyle and Courtney watching over the twins as they slept on the sofa. “Where’s my dad?” Kyle looked up, his eyes shifting back and forth across the room hoping for an answer. He had told Courtney where Max had gone, not able to lie to her. She had not been happy that he had let Max go, but she knew that there was nothing that could’ve stopped Max. Courtney stood up, walking towards Noah. She kneeled beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder. “He went to get your momma something to eat. She’s not feeling too good, so your dad’s getting her some food.” She didn’t like lying, but she couldn’t very well tell him that his father was on the verge of murder. “You should go back to sleep sweetie. It’s late.” She ushered him back up the stairs, but he lingered. “But momma…” “I know sweetie. Kyle and I promise to stay until your dad gets back.” Noah nodded reluctantly, trudging up the stairs. He trusted Kyle and Courtney to stick to their word, but he knew that it just wasn’t the same. Just as it wasn’t the same when his aunt Isabel would hug him after a bad dream, telling him that everything was okay. It was never the same when his own mother would do that. Somehow, when she did it, he was more inclined to believe her. He slipped into his parents’ bedroom, taking the phone off of the hook. He dialed the number his parents had told him to memorize in case of emergencies. ************* Max was set to open the car door to take care of Josh when his cell phone rang. He slipped back into the car, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He wanted to catch Josh by surprise. “Hello?” he answered gruffly. “Daddy?” Noah’s voice came in through the line, startling Max. “Noah? What are you doing up, little man? It’s way past your bedtime.” His eyes followed Josh’s every move, not wanting to let him get away. “It’s momma.” Max felt his blood run cold, the color draining from his face. “What’s wrong with your mother?” “She’s….daddy, you have to come home. She needs you.” He paused, his voice coming in softer. “I tried to make her hurt go away, but I can’t do it. Not like you can.” Max was at a loss for words. He was so close to giving Josh everything he deserved, but hearing his son’s pleas was melting his resolve. All he could think was Liz needed him. She needed him earlier, and he wasn’t there. Was he wiling to let her down again? Noah’s voice penetrated through the line again. “Please, daddy. She needs you.” He had called Max because he knew that his father was the only who could take care of his momma. He was the only one that could kiss her tears away and make everything better. He had called the one person that could fix everything. Part 34E *************** Joey pulled her robe tighter around her neck, looking through the peep hole of the door cautiously. Who could possibly knocking on her door at this hour? Her heart fluttered in her chest as she spied Michael and Maria standing outside of her door. She pulled the door open a smidgen, sticking her head out. “What are you guys doing here?” Michael nodded, squeezing Maria’s hand tightly. He had told her the story on the drive over, revealing everything in one breath. After telling her, he handed her a bottle of cypress oil, trying to keep her from repeating his actions of a few days ago. They had hugged, and Maria had offered all of her support. He only hoped that it would go as easily with Joey. “I know it’s late, but I really need to talk to you.” Joey sighed, her eyes turning from Michael then to Maria. She didn’t want a repeat of the other day, but she couldn’t say no either. Her head bobbed in response as she stepped aside, letting them inside. *************** Liz raked her hands through her hair, turning worried eyes at Kyle and Courtney. “Did he say where he was going?” Kyle bit his lip, shrugging his shoulders. “He didn’t really say. All he said was that he was going out for food.” He hated lying, especially to Liz. She didn’t need anyone feeding her anymore lies, but telling her that Max was on a murderous rampage wasn’t any better. “His cell isn’t even on, or he’s just choosing not to answer my calls,” she said dejectedly. Courtney sat beside Liz, trying to offer her an encouraging smile. “Honey, I’m sure he’ll come strolling through that door any second carrying more food than his arms can hold. He’ll give you that sheepish half smile of his and apologize that he’s late because he couldn’t decide what to get you.” Her eyes flew to the ceiling as she sent a prayer to anyone that would listen to bring Max home to Liz. Liz stared at the door, her dark hair swaying from side to side. “He’s not coming.” Her eyes were a little crazed as she began to chew her nails. “He can’t stand to be near me now.” “Liz that’s crazy.” Kyle kneeled down by her feet, intending to pat her knee but deciding against it. He wasn’t sure if she’d feel comfortable with him touching her so soon after what happened. “Hell would freeze over before Max decides he doesn’t want to be near you.” She turned a trembling lip at him, then to the door. “Then where is he?” Almost as if he knew he was being talked about, Max slipped through the door, struggling with plastic bags full of food, just like Courtney had predicted. “Max….” He held out the bags awkwardly. “Sorry I was gone so long, but there wasn’t anything open, and- His sentence was cut abruptly as Liz threw herself in his arms, causing him to drop the bags. His arms went around her body automatically, his face burying itself in her neck as she held on for dear life. “Where were you? I was worried. You weren’t answering your phone, and…” She cupped his face, her hands flittering over his body as she checked him for any physical damage. “Are you okay?” Max’s heart melted, the tears he had been trying to keep from Liz sliding down his strong cheekbones, over his granite like jaw. How was it possible that she was worried about how he was, when she was the one that was victimized no more than a few hours ago? He brought her open palms to his lips, giving her a small smile before kissing them gently. “I’m fine.” Each picking up a child, Courtney and Kyle excused themselves, knowing that Max and Liz still had a lot to talk about. “We should get going and let you guys get some sleep.” Max and Liz spoke soft thank yous, stepping aside to let them pass. Courtney placed her hand on Liz’s elbow, whispering so that only she could hear. “Tell him everything, Liz.” She paused before raising her voice a little louder. “And if you guys need anything, you know where to find us.” After the door was closed, and the family had driven away, Max picked up the discarded grocery bags, taking them inside the kitchen. “Would you like me to fix you some chicken soup?” Even as he asked the question, he was already fiddling around with pots and pans. Liz shook her head, slipping inside the kitchen. “Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” Her hand rested against her stomach unconsciously rubbing it. “I don’t think I could hold anything down anyway.” “You sure?” Max refused to meet her eyes, trying to keep himself as busy as possible. If he didn’t, then he would lose it. He was barely hanging on by a thread right now, and if he didn’t keep up the facade that everything was alright then he would have to face reality head on, and that scared him. His body stiffened as Liz’s arms came around his waist, her hands stilling his movements. She turned him around slowly, a small sob escaping her lips as he still refused to look into her eyes. “Max please….just stop.” She stepped back, distancing their bodies. Max felt like a chunk of his heart had been ripped out. Not having her close made him feel cold inside. “If you didn’t want to be around me, you just have to say so.” Her shoulders hunched forward, her little feet moving her further and further away from him. “You didn’t need to go to all of this trouble…” Her voice was choked up as she continued to speak. “I would understand if you don’t want to be near me…..cos I can barely stand to be in my own skin, right now.” When she had touched him, his body turned rigid, almost as if he repelled her hands; repelled her. She didn’t know what was worse; having Josh’s hands on her, or having Max shy away from her touch. “Liz, no….” the sound that came from his throat resounded a wounded lion. He crossed the room in three purposeful strides, his hands squeezing her shoulders as his amber eyes penetrated hers. “Don’t ever think that I couldn’t bear to be near you….not even for a second.” His fingers drifted to sift through her hair while he tucked the strands behind her ear. “I’m the biggest asshole on the planet, and if anyone should feel uncomfortable in their own skin, it should be me.” Being the only way he could with her, he let her see all of him, broken and all. “I’ve failed you….my sweet, sweet, sweet, Liz….” his lips latched onto her temple as he pulled her flush against him, allowing all of his pent up emotions to surface. “I know that I don’t deserve you……especially after tonight, but I can’t lose you Liz….I can’t…..I would die if you weren’t here with me.” He squeezed her tightly, unable to let her go. Holding her in his arms was tangible proof that she was still there. That after all of his despicable acts she was still there, waiting for him, worrying about him, loving him. He couldn’t even begin to speak about all of that had happened, and he had a feeling that she wasn’t ready to let it all out yet either. Silently, he picked her up under the knees, carrying her to their room, both of their bodies collapsing on the bed in an exhausted heap. They held each other, knowing that it was the only comfort that they could offer each other. For tonight, the solace of their arms was the only haven they could provide the other. Nothing else mattered at that moment except being with each other. Tomorrow was a new day where they could talk. For right now, words weren’t needed as they healed each other with soft kisses and caresses, words of love whispered in each others ears as they attempted to survive the night together.