Part 36 *************** “No....NO....NO!” With each preceding refusal, Liz’s voice raised an octave higher, earning a heavier edge as she fought off her assailant. She could feel his hot breath on her skin and all she could do was shudder violently. Her legs refused to move, feeling like dead weight as she fought in vain to escape his hurtful hands away. “Please don’t......please.....” Her voice came out in a choked whisper and all she could do was cower against him. The sound of his menacing laugh echoed in her ears, his grip tightening around her limbs. Max was jolted awake when Liz’s arms and legs kicked at his body, trying to get as far away from him. “Liz?” The frightened whimper coming from her throat drove a wedge in his heart, the stake driving deeper. She curled up into a fetal position, silent tears slipping from her eyes, her body wracked with sobs. Max sat up, his arms reaching to pull Liz into his embrace. He sat her in his lap, gently rocking her as he whispered in her ear, his lips brushing gentle kisses on her face. “Liz...baby, it’s okay....He’s not gonna hurt you anymore......I’m here.....I won’t ever leave you again.....” His hands brushed away her sweat soaked hair, his arms crushing her against him. “I’m here, Liz.....I’m here.” With consciousness settling in, Liz rubbed her fists against her sleep laden eyes. Surprised to feel wetness on them, she instantly became awake, finding her body curled up in Max’s. “Max?” Her voice was hoarse, her eyes squinting in the dark as she tried to focus on his face. Max cupped her face with his hands, his lips landing on hers in a kiss of reassurance. Not so much for her, but for him. He needed to know that she was fine. His fingers dug into the strands of her hair hanging on the side of her face, his nose breathing in a lungful of air, trying to soak her in. “What happened?” Liz still felt disoriented. Her body felt exhausted, and she had to wonder what had Max so upset. It was if he was trying to absorb her inside of him. “You’re okay now?” He had meant for it to come out as a statement, but rather, it came out as a question as he wasn’t really sure. He wasn’t about to take any chances with her. Not ever again. Her forehead brushed against his when she bobbed her head in response. “I think so...I just...I still don’t know what happened, though.” She looked down at her position, noticing for the first time how tangled their bodies were. They were stuck so close that not even a breath of air could pass between them. His amber eyes glowed in the darkness, a crinkle developing between his brows. “You don’t remember?” She shook her head in the negative, her molar biting down on her bottom lip. “Will you tell me?” His large hands trailed down her body, searching her for any injuries, his voice trembling as he spoke. “You had....you had a nightmare.” Before she could open her mouth to ask what it was about, he gulped, his thumb resting against the pulse point on her neck. “About him....” His voice took on a defeated tone, his eyes taking on a far away look. “I wasn’t there to save you.....again.” Liz’s head snapped up so fast that she almost bumped heads with Max. Her hands framed his face, her fingers working his tense jaw. “Max, don’t do this...you couldn’t have known.” “But I did.” He didn’t want to look in her eyes, feeling ashamed. “I felt it, Liz.” He held out his hands as if he could show her the physical proof. “Inside me. I knew something bad was going to happen, just like when Tess died. I knew something wasn’t right then, and I didn’t do anything.” He shook his head in frustration as his vision blurred with hot tears. He pushed Liz away from him, his legs staggering off the bed. “I got her killed, and I’m going to the same to you.” “Max.” He shut out the sound of anguish in her voice. If he didn’t he would crawl in the bed again and end up holding her in his arms. He really was going to be the death of her. His mind whirled around in a sea of confusion, his thoughts getting muddled. He needed to stay away. Everyone he loved ended up getting hurt. He took so much from them. As he looked at Liz, he saw their daughter and his stomach churned. What if he hurt her too? He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t hurt them anymore, he didn’t want to. He stepped backwards blindly, needing so much to get away. To keep them safe. Liz watched with brimming eyes as Max tried to walk away from her. She had been through enough, and she wasn’t about to lose him. She jumped from the bed, hurtling herself at him. “Don’t you dare walk away from!” The shock of her reaction kept him rooted to the spot. He supposed he could peel her away from him and leave as he intended, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes, trying one more time to pull away. “Liz please....” “Max Evans, you promised to be with me through sorrow and hardship.” She wiped away at her tears angrily. “Is this how you plan on honoring your vows?” She had meant for her question to come out angry, but all she resulted was a tormented sob. She beat her fists at his chest. “You promised to love, honor, and cherish, to comfort and to respect, in sorrow or in joy, in hardship or in plenty, so long as we both shall live.....you promised!” She repeated their marriage vows verbatim, wanting him to remember his pledge to her. Max grimaced against her blows, not so much from the physical pain, but the emotional one as she beat him with her words. His voice scratched against his throat as he spoke. “I’m only going to hurt you more if I stay..... I don’t want to lose you .....” She looked at him incredulously. “You don’t want to lose me, so you’re leaving me?” She gripped his shirt, balling up her fists against the cotton as she tried to shake some sense into him. “Can you even hear what you’re saying?” She didn’t let him get a chance to speak, wanting to get out everything first. “First of all, what happened tonight and what happened with Tess are two completely unrelated things. The only thing that they do have in common is that you had no control over it.” Her hands dropped her grip on his shirt, moving to touch his face. “You need to stop blaming yourself over everything that goes wrong in our lives.....You’re not God, Max.” He smiled sadly. “I know that. If I was, I could’ve stopped all of these terrible things from happening.” Her back stiffened. “So what are you saying? If you could’ve prevented Tess’ death then, would you have? Because if that’s what you’re saying, then I guess you really should leave.” “What?” It was turn to be confused. His hand reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away. “Saying that is saying that you wish you were never with me. Saying that, is saying that you don’t want our daughter.” “NO...Liz, that’s not...NO!” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence to make her understand that that’s not what he meant. “If you wish to erase the past, you’re obliterating everything we are. Our family would be no more...” She turned around to face him, looking into his eyes. “Is that what you want Max? Do you wish to have never met me? Do you wish there was no us?” “GOD NO!” He was openly sobbing now, falling to his knees. “I don’t want that. I only want what’s best for you,” he screeched out. She knelt before him, this time, gathering him in her arms. “Then don’t do this. Don’t leave us, and don’t blame yourself. You’re not to blame.” She wiped away his tears, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “Let me in, Max. Don’t shut me out.” His body shook against hers, both of them holding each other, afraid that the other might suddenly vanish into thin air. After moments of silence, Max gave her a tear streaked chuckle. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” Memories of when they had proposed to each other in high school surfaced, both of them remembering those exact same words slipping from Max’s lips as Liz proposed to him. Seeing that he was making an effort, Liz smiled back. “I told you, our relationship has always been less than traditional. If you can’t see straight, I’m bringing it upon myself to show you.” He sighed heavily, his head shaking from side to side as he looked at her in awe. “You’re stuck with me, Max Evans, and you’re gonna have to do a lot better than that to get rid of me.”