Hey Now, You're an All-Star….Yeah, and?
Written by: DBangel aka "Bagel"
Disclaimer: Y'all own yourselves, k? Well, except for Gellar's man, but we won't go into that… Oh yeah, I inserted
some of my little thoughts into this one. Call it authors right or something. They're in ~…~
*GremlintheMighty's secret lair….an office supply warehouse in Vegas. We see Wonder Michelle strapped onto something which is a cross between a dentist's chair and a scrap-metal piece of "art". She is screaming in horror.*
GremlintheMighty: Now that I've got my greatest nema…neme..nemis…enemy as my prisoner, the spoiler board will be mine! *cue loogey-laugh* It will be total chaos! Maybe I'll even re-route some posts so they end up in someone's e-mail to their Uncle Bob! And all Wonder Michelle will have to look forward to is…this.
*View shifts so we can see what is causing our hero to scream. A large computer screen comes into focus, blinking "loading the delete page"* ~I never get tired of this joke, so get used to it!~
GremlintheMighty: *booms*There is no one who can stop me now! I will reign supreme, and all will bow before me. *voice resumes its normal high-octave pitch as he directs his words towards the still-screaming Wonder Michelle* Ahhh, I learned that speech from watching all those cool movies with the evil villains dressed in dark clothing talking about taking over the world in big, booming voices. You know the ones…(suddenly, the power goes out) JoyfulJenJoy! Get the power on immediately. I'm not done with my speech yet!
(JoyfulJenJoy, sidekick extrodinaire, appears from behind a stack of warehouse boxes)
JoyfulJenJoy: *really happily* Oh, sorry! See, I was looking for a place to plug in this really cool and totally awesome smoothie maker. But all the outlets were taken! Bummer! So I just pulled out the nearest one. I mean, I thought Wonder Michelle might appreciate a nice, cold…
GremlintheMighty: She's the prisoner!
JoyfulJenJoy: *looks really stumped*………….
GremlintheMighty: You don't give the prisoner a SMOOTHIE! Don't you ever watch movies on RealPlayer???? I want to make her suffer, not take her out for dinner and drinks! And now that I've got her, the board will be all mine! Mua-hah-hah-ha…
JoyfulJenJoy:….Yeah, you've said that, like, 10 times already.
GremlintheMighty: Excuse me, can I finish? I was in the middle of my evil-villain laugh.
JoyfulJenJoy: Sure! Okay!
GremlintheMighty: …h-hah-haaaaaaaaaaaaa!
JoyfulJenJoy: And ya know what? I don't think it's going to be that easy! See, there are these really nice people on the board. They're superheroes too! Uber cool! And they vow to protect Wonder Michelle forever and ever! Gosh, that's so sweet, ya know?! The Mystery Posters are just soooooooooooo…
GremlintheMighty: The who?!?!
JoyfulJenJoy: The Mystery Posters. Iliketa Laugh, The Penciler, The Boytoy, Mr. Know-it-all, Litman, The Yokel, and Novocaine Boy. ~Take a guess at who's who. It's REAL difficult, I know.~
GremlintheMighty: Superheros, huh? Some names. What do they do anyway? (JoyfulJenJoy opens her mouth to speak, but he shushes her a la Dr. Evil) Tsssssssst! Never mind. Change of plans.
(GremlintheMighty storms into where Wonder Michelle lays.)
GremlintheMighty: Everything was going perfectly. I had you, I was going to take over the posting board and create chaos and confusion and all that, but…*stops to wipe a tear out of his eye* your Mystery Posters have to get all defensive and heroic. So, new plan.
Wonder Michelle: So then, what's your plan? You're NOT going to take over the board and create chaos and confision?
GremlintheMighty: Oh, no! Still going to do that. After all, I have been saying I will over and over again all throughout this fic. I'm just gonna kill you instead of locking you up in here forever. That way the Mystery Posters won't have anything to save.
Wonder Michelle: Now see, that's the part I have a problem with.
JoyfulJenJoy: Um, Mr-Gremlin-the-Mighty-man? Why can't we, like, forget about this and all be friends instead? That way, everyone can be happy and have friends, like me! And besides…
GremlintheMighty: Besides, what? And if you're going to ask me for a poodle again, the answer is still…
JoyfulJenJoy: The Mystery Posters are out looking for you. The chief of COTN threw the bat…er, postersignal.
*GremlintheMighty's attention shifts to the sky, where a strong spotlight is shining into the night sky. It is yellow, bearing the outline phrase 'SPOILER'*
GremlintheMighty: *gurgle*…….
(Meanwhile, The Mystery Posters are walking down a deserted street when Nyx notices the signal)
Nyx aka The Penciler: Hark! That is thine postehsignal, thrown by ye president KurupttheAmazing! We must hasten to helpeth!
Oz aka Novocaine Boy: Um, Nyth? I think you'r schtuck in another fic.
Onos aka Mr. Know-it-all: *recites like a bored english professor* He said "Um Nyx, I think you're stuck in another fic."
All: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…
Bagel aka The Yokel: Man! My cape has a hole in it from when I tripped. And I got a grass-stain from when I slipped on the dewey grass. And, aw shucks, my…
G-man aka The Boytoy: *slaps Bagel upside the head with Onos' big foam finger* Bagel! Stop spouting off! I know you're the Yokel, but geesh! Enough already! You're long-winded enough as it is!
XW aka Iliketa Laugh: So, wwolfe, you know the way to Vegas, right? That's where KurupttheAmazing said GremlintheMighty is holed up. And geez, what's with these names? Remind me to complain to the writer of our dialogue later.
Wwolfe aka Litman: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I'm reminded of the great poet Emily Dickenson, who said…
XW: Oh, nevermind! Does anybody have a map??? *Bagel looks around before pulling something out of the front of her outfit.* ~Very Yokel-like, dontcha think?~ Um, thanks Bagel.
(Everyone gathers around the map. Ten minutes and many rotations of the map later…)
Oz: Okay, doeth eferyone know where wehyre goin?
*After mulling over the meaning of that one for awhile, everyone nods.*
Onos: Alright then. We're off to rescue our fearless leader, Wonder Michelle.
*After a few seconds pause, the Mystery Posters all take off..in different directions.*
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