And So it Begins
Written by: DBangel aka "Bagel"
Disclaimer: This was written completely on a whim. I was bored and reading archive fics, and I had a thought. I decided to write a humorous (hopefully) little piece about our posting board. I don't own the people in this fic. They own themselves, 'cause they're real people. Again, this is my interpretation, so Nyx, Oz-man, XW, G-man, Michelle, and Onos may or may not actually be like how they are portrayed. And remember; make love, not war! So don't hate me. I love you all! (I basicaly took posting traits I noticed in people I post with a lot, and ran them into a little paragraph. All who read most of the posts should get the humor.)
11:31pm EST
"Geez, where is everyone? COTN starts in only 29 minutes. I've got a new name for Bagel. Djalepeno-and-cheeseBagel! Ha! Someone better stop me!" Xander's Woman said gleefully aloud as she began her first post of the night. Noticing OztheVampSlayer had made his first nightly post; XW slung her bright green bunny slippers onto the couch, settling down with her laptop for another night of taste-less-and-oherwise humor. 'Oz, good to see ya! I was afraid you'd still be tired after all that fun we had with the saran wrap last night. Ya know…' she typed.
11:35pm EST
OztheVampSlayer was pretty proud of himself. He'd just returned from seeing American Pie. Now he'd be one of the first to tell COTN all about it. Especially Bagel, since they "knew each other so well!" 'Hey my transvestite twin!' He typed to XW as he flopped into his computer chair. His sock feet tapped on the floor as he pondered one of his trademark witty replies. "Hmmm, what's funny about heat stroke? That it…no…maybe because it…no. Aha! Got it!" Unfortunately, the Oz-man's power chose that exact moment to fail completely, leaving him and his reply in total darkness. Grumbling loudly, he trudged off to the circuit breaker, figuring this gave him an excuse to be twice as grumpy in the morning.
11:42pm EST
Gellar's man rotated back and forth in his computer chair, preparing to post another part of his awesome new vampire fic for everyone at COTN to read. Before he signed on, however, he made sure to set the large-framed photo of Sarah Michele Gellar where he could easily see it from across his bedroom. His favorite part of COTN was not the beginning, but the end. That was when he could wish everyone naughty-buffy-character-filled-dreams. "Heh-heh." He laughed to himself as he signed on. "Another night of entertaining my fans." 'Mina! Jenjoy! Jenna! Your master is here!' he typed, preparing to handle the sure-to-come backlash with a smirk.
11:47pm EST
Onos aka "The professor" had been on-line for awhile. However, he was a lurker, posting only when he had something particularly interesting (or very groan-worthy) to say. He watched the banter fly between XW and Oz, preparing his Yoda statement for DBangel whenever she decided to pop-up and join them. He leaned back in the computer chair, coffee in hand so he could stay awake for extremely late posting with chris-c. "A Yon-groan. Just what is Yon-groan worthy?" he wondered aloud, trying to decipher the way DBangel's mind worked. It was kind of amusing, however, so he vowed to get at least one out of her before the night was over. 'Hey DB,' he typed 'Why did the elephant cross the road?…'
11:52pm EST
Michelle was pretty happy tonight. She'd been afraid that she was going to be late starting the meeting in Kurupt's absence, but luckily her computer was actually cooperating with her tonight. Plus, she'd just gotten back her new T-shirt. She'd created the image on her computer, and had the shirt made at Kinko's earlier. A humongous photo of Spike adorned the center, with a picture of her face superimposed over Juliet Landau's. "Happy Spike dreams!" she sighed, remembering the G-man's statement from the previous night. Settling in with her Starbucks, Michelle scanned the boards before preparing to post the COTN welcome. What she saw almost made her spit out her mouthful of frappuchino. Five minutes later… 'Loading the delete page' her computer screen read. "Great, now I only have to do this 12 more times before I can post the COTN welcome. Joyful."
12:10pm EST
'Sorry I'm late guys, but my computer crashed. And I was updating my site. And my stupid sister was uploading pictures of her stupid boyfriend.' Nyx apologized as she appeared late for COTN. She was a bit frazzled; there was just never enough time in the day! "I needed to finish my newest Oz drawing for my nightly Nyx-pix" she reminded herself. "I'll get his face right someday dammit!" It was a good thing she was finally not doing anything the next morning. Now she could stay as late as she wanted. "Provided stupid Netscape doesn't disconnect me again." 'Okay everyone, here's the nightly pix. Give a big hand for…..Oz!' she typed, happily leaning back at her computer, preparing for the lavished praise that always came with every one of her drawings. 'Awwww, thanks guys, but I think my ego needs a bigger place to live in now….'
And the posting went on well into the morning hours...
Back to Message Board Fiction