Headline:

Thumb Separates Itself from Hand

Irreconcilable differences cited as the cause.

After years of trying to conform to the rest of the fingers, the thumb, grossly misshapen in the eyes of the fingers, and ever aloof, walked away without looking back.

Elsewhere in the body, the right hand left, because the left hand never said what it was doing, asserting this was their right. Immediately being offended by what it saw, the left hand tore an eye out, claiming the highroad, because it was the “scriptural thing to do.”

The right foot kicked the bucket. The left one tore itself away, stating it was going to start a new body somewhere else. As it left, the caring shoulder shouted, “Hairy tick, pointing to the parasite that was so visible on the left toe, but the foot misconstrued, and vowed never to speak to those members ever again.

Two cheeks, claiming the will of God, nestled into the seat of the wheelchair in their new role as chief support.

In the meantime, the Head, ever the same, wept.