Saturday, August 31
Finally, some time off. After band, of course. I actually fell asleep again after my alarm went off and was about ten minutes late to the sectional. I'll spare you the details, but what happened when I finally arrived wasn't fun. At least some people had it worse; two or three guys showed up even later than I did. During the full band rehearsal, my bum heel started acting up again, so I could only drive my right leg. I'm starting to get sick of that injury. Band was over by 11 though, so I've had a lot of free time today for once. I should be working on assignments, but I'd rather not. Free time leads to reflection, and my main one for today was that I hope I start meeting more people soon. Sitting in my room all day sucks. My roommate's rushing, so he's hardly ever around. It's just me, the stereo, and the computer. It'll get better though. Monday's the first game, so I'm looking forward to that. Plus tomorrow is the trumpet section barbecue. Stay tuned to see if I successfully attend a college party without drinking. That's all for now. Out.

Sunday, September 1
I didn't do it! Despite numerous offers, I managed to stay alcohol-free at my first college party. There were actually (by my count) two other people who didn't drink and one who didn't intend to but had his juice spiked. The trumpets are really pretty cool about it if you don't want to drink. I picked up my TMB name, which is Meatbag. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds. I'm pleased. Upcoming events: In about an hour, I'll be attempting my first solo loads of laundry, with the help of SoYouWanna.com. Results will be posted here. And tomorrow's the big game. I can't wait. That's all I've got today. Out.

Tuesday, September 3
About 12:30 last night, I experienced my first earthquake. I was trying to sleep at the time, and I thought my roommate was gently shaking my bed. Then I noticed that everything else was shaking. It lasted all of 10 seconds and I didn't figure out what was happening until about 7 seconds into it. When I finally realized the situation, though, I just about pissed my pants. An earthquake (to an Oklahoman at least) is a scary enough thing, but I'm living on the 8th and highest floor of my dorm. If a big one ever comes along, I'm toast. Falling toast. Needless to say, I had trouble sleeping. To my surprise, it didn't make any noise. I always assumed it sounded like thunder, but I guess that's just the movies lying to me, again. Overall though, not a big deal. I was fine by the time I woke up. As for my laundry....it could have been worse. For starters, I threw the first load (along with some liquid detergent) into the dryer because I didn't read the big metal plate that said "Commercial Dryer" and thought it was a washing machine. I quickly realized my error though, and got everything out. I feel kinda bad about the detergent thing though, I hope it didn't screw up the clothes of the next person who used it. There were a lot of other people using the machines, so I only had time to do one load. It came out just fine though, even if it took me a lot longer than I had planned. Last night was also the first football game. I'll talk about that later since the earthquake required rather long commentary. I will say it was a lot of work, but fun too. Until next time. Out.

Monday, September 9
"We can always meet again in dreams."-Bill Watterson, cartoonist, Calvin and Hobbes

I think I'm officially homesick. I knew it was gonna happen, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks. The last three nights I've had dreams that I was back home. They're great, but it's always tough when I wake up. It makes me think of Bill Watterson's above quote from a commentary on one of his strips. He drew that particular strip when his family cat died. It's a lot sadder than I just made it sound. I'm just waiting for when I can see everybody for real. I miss my family. I miss Bebe; she's been prominent in my dreams. I miss my friends. I miss Scrubs. I'm always in class when it comes on. I miss doing things other than working on stuff. I miss sleeping for more than 5 hours a night. I miss eating three meals a day everyday. I miss driving. I know I sound (miserable/pathetic/hopeless, pick one), but I think I forget that this is almost exactly how I felt when I first moved to Oklahoma from Arkansas. That turned out pretty well =) Things will get better. I just need some time. Out.

Tuesday, September 10
Remember those people who, during your senior year, would tell you that college was just as easy as high school, maybe even easier? I'd like to find one of those people and kick them so hard that their balls fly out of their mouth. In the past week, I have turned in: 1.25 architecture projects, 10 drawings/sketches, a diagnostic essay, and a "response to reading" paper, not to mention a 5-hour walking tour (torture?) of downtown L.A. I ate 10 meals during the week. And that's without a football game on Saturday. By Thursday, I have to finish .75 architecture projects, a 5-6 page essay, and do a hell of a lot of reading. Somebody shoot me. Out.

Tuesday, September 17
Wow, I've been busy lately. All kinds of homework, plus I've had a little more stuff to do in the evenings, which is good. Last night was the third night so far that I've been in the studio til at least 3 in the morning. I've pulled two all-nighters, one not in the studio. In high school, despite many late nights and the subsequent sleep deprivation, I've never had those circles under my eyes that you see on TV and stuff. I have them now. And I'm exhausted a lot of the time. I've started meeting more people because they think it's funny when I sleep during the lectures. Hey, go with what works, right? Actually, I try really hard to stay awake in class, but sometimes it's just not gonna happen. And how 'bout them Trojans? 40-3! Nice. And the best news I've had lately - Scrubs is gonna start coming on at 8:30, so I'll be able to watch it! Just in time for the season premiere too. Thank goodness. I haven't seen it since August 14 (!!). Just nine more days to go! I think I can make it! That's it for now. Out.

Friday, September 20
Today I (finally) got a haircut for the first time since moving out to LA. I will not be getting another one until I go back home. Oh, I look fine, in fact, it's probably the best cut I've gotten in quite a while. Problem: it cost 16 frickin' dollars! That's twice as much as I paid back home. Now I realize that girls pay like 50 bucks every time or something, but they don't go all that often and they get all kinds of stuff done when they do. I just want short hair, which requires about one simple haircut a month, and I shouldn't have to let them clip off my right ear and freeze it to accomplish that. In other news, this weekend is going to blow. Like a hurricane. On Monday I have to turn in so much stuff for studio that if I listed it all, I'd have turned it in by the time you finished reading it. Pray for me and my poor sleep-deprived body. Interesting note: the Emmy awards are being held at the Shrine Auditorium, which is literally across the street from USC. I'd go stargazing if I wasn't so completely uninterested. Lastly, and sticking with the TV theme, it's now less than a week until the Scrubs premiere! Hooray! I wish it was Thursday. See ya later. Out.

Tuesday, September 24
Things are getting better. I'm starting to connect with more people, I guess cuz I'm finally opening up a little. A little. Yesterday morning in my Arch 114 lecture, a girl (that I don't even know that well, even!) from my studio section sat by me and said something like, "Hey, Sleepy Mike!" and we had a pretty good back-and-forth for a while. I've gotten a bit of a rep as a snoozer, but hopefully I'll be able to kick that. Today I made it through my Social Issues 142 without sleeping at all for the first time this year. I was proud. Elsewhere, Isaiah should be calling me sometime in the next day or two. It will be really great to have a familiar face around here. Two days til Scrubs! Out.

Friday, September 27
"You are never going to believe what happened to me today"-from "Unemployed Boyfriend" by Everclear

WHAT.....a day. It started off like any other Friday, waking up just in time for lunch and then going to Arch 105, which is drawing. On my way to class, though, I picked up a copy of the Daily Trojan and perused through page 2, which gives quick headlines on all kinds of stuff. The first of these headlines on this particular day read:



What with Scrubs being my favorite show and all, and the season premiere airing last night and reinfusing my excitement about the show, as soon as class ended at 6 I raced over to Seeley hall to check things out. Unfortunately, taping was closed to the public. There were a ton of extras hanging out on one side of the building. Just as I was about to leave in disappointment, Sarah Chalke (Elliot) came out of the building and walked by, about 30 feet or so from me. She then got into a golf cart which contained about 4 other people, including Ken Jenkins (Dr. Kelso), and they drove off somewhere in the other direction. I had no personal interaction with any of them, but it was still one of the most awesome things that's ever happened to me. I've been giddy all night. And that's just the first cool thing that happened to me tonight! Isaiah finally gave me a call and we hung out for a few hours. It was so great to see someone I knew; I really can't describe what kind of an emotional boost that gave me. On top of all that, I've got a new all-time favorite song. After the first time I heard "Selfless, Cold, and Composed" by Ben Folds Five, I knew it was my new favorite. It's incredible, I highly suggest you find a recording. (Incidentally, I'll be adding a review of the CD it's on, Whatever and Ever Amen, pretty soon.) BFF is knocking on the door of Better Than Ezra being my favorite band. Too bad they broke up two years ago. Anyway, not everything this week was so rosy. I pulled two all-nighters because of architecture projects (Sun and Wed), and I went to sleep at 10 both Mon and Thurs night. You'd probably have to go back to junior high to find the last time I went to sleep at 10 twice in the same week. My sleep cycle is completely destroyed. Anyway, to add to all the excitement, my second football game is tomorrow. Bright and early, 6:30. Oh boy. That was a lot, sorry. =) Until next time. Out.

Sunday, October 6
Last week sucked. I stayed up all night three times. I've done the math, and I'm on pace to pull about 40 all-nighters by the time the school year is over. Uggh. Anyway, my parents are coming on Friday for Parents Weekend, and I'm actually pretty excited about it. Say what you will, but I really miss home and I'll be glad to see them. As for Scrubs, I've been disappointed in the new season so far. There's just something different...it's almost as funny, but I don't feel the same way about it. Hopefully that'll change. I'm also happy that the only two teams in baseball that I truly dislike, the A's and Yankees, have both been eliminated from the playoffs. That's about all for now. Out.

Friday, October 11
Well, technically. It's 2:30 in the morning on the 11th, but it still feels like the 10th. You know. Anyway, I know I haven't been updating a lot lately. I've been swamped. Hopefully things will lighten up soon so I can start letting off some steam. Sheesh. Anyway, my folks'll be here later today. I'm excited. And Scrubs was an improvement tonight. I've got hope that it'll return to form. Until next time. Out.

Thursday, October 17
Geez, I know I've kinda been neglecting the ol' site here lately. Sorry, but I've had so much crap to worry about in the last week or two. My folks came out last weekend, which was great. It really picked up my spirits, which frankly were starting to sink a little. I had my first midterm on Tuesday, which I think I did really well on, especially considering the circumstances. I only managed to study about a third of the study guide, but luckily the test was structured where you got several options and chose which ones to write on. Scrubs was awesome tonight. I think it's back to form. Also, I feel like I'm starting to connect with people in architecture. The late nights are breeding camaraderie. I think that's spelled right. As for band, I'm realizing just how awesome it is. We do so much cool stuff. Anyway, that sort of got you caught up I guess. It was a lot more hectic than I made it sound. And starting now, I'll start doing the Friday Five. There's a website that comes up with five questions to answer every Friday. Hence the name, I suppose. So, here goes:

1 How many TVs do you have in your home?
There's 2 here in my dorm, but I usually keep my little one under my bed because Jason's is a lot better. It's only here because it's got a VCR.
2 On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
1.5-2 hours, I always watch Friends and Scrubs for that hour on Thursday night but not much other than that.
3 Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
I came out okay, but then again I'm an exceptional young man.
4 What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
Scrubs. Lately I've been watching Friends but I wouldn't be real upset if I missed it. I love how Chandler's living in Tulsa half the time now.
5 If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
Scrubs, Friends, Frasier, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Pardon the Interruption, Saturday Night Live, and I'd probably have to figure out some other stuff to fill the rest of the time slots.

There. How fun was that? Believe it or not, I'm done for now. Out.

Friday, October 18
OK, I just realized that I did the Friday Five on Thursday. Please forgive my complete lack of a thought process. Geez, that's like something Marco would do. Anyway, I'm sorry for being an idiot. I've got a semi-busy day ahead of me (it's just before noon right now), but nothing interesting enough to post here. So I'll see ya later. Out.

Monday, October 21
I know now why my major is nonjokingly referred to as architorture. Check this out: the last four nights, I have gotten about 30 hours of sleep. Almost 8 hours a night, not too shabby, you say? To quote Matthew Perry as Michael Keaton on Celebrity Jeopardy, "Sometimes it helps...to break - it - down, let's do that now, shall we?" Friday night, I went to bed at 8:00 PM and woke up at midnight, for a total of 4 hours. I stayed up the rest of the night because band was at 6:30 AM. Saturday night I went to sleep at 8:00 PM again. (Two nights in a row at 8:00; absolutely monumental) I woke up about noon on Sunday morning. 16 hours of sleep! I think that might just be a personal record. 20 hours total. Sunday night I didn't go to sleep because I had to work on a project all night. Monday night I'll get about 10 hours total before it's all said and done. So take out Saturday night and my sleep sucks. Anyway, I've gotta go get some more now. Have a good one! Out.

Friday, October 25
Boy, rough week...but finally, a clean weekend. No home game, no massive amount of work, just sleep and relaxation. Well, except for Saturday morning rehearsal. I'll get by. I might try going to church for the first time since I moved out here. How bout some Friday Five (on Friday this time)?

1 What is your favorite scary movie?
I'm not really into scary movies, so I've got a limited selection of ones I've seen. Sixth Sense was pretty cool, if that qualifies.
2 What is your favorite Halloween treat?
Back before I retired from trick-or-treating, it was Dots. But if they pass out those chocolate and peanut butter Oreos now, it would defintely be that.
3 Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume.
Not anymore. Although if there's a party, I might try to find some light blue scrubs. One year, I think I was 11 or 12, I went as a retired football player, with my dad's middle school jersey, a pillow for a stomach, and a remote control.
4 Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
All the haunted houses in Oklahoma City suck. I try to avoid them whenever possible to eliminate as much crap from my life as I can.
5 Will you dress up for Halloween this year?
See #3 you stupid bitch.

I'm sorry about that last comment. I didn't mean it. Anyway, I'm ready for this weekend. Maybe I'll call up Isaiah. And check ths out: Ben Folds is coming to Hollywood on Nov 13. I'm doing everything in my power to get out there for that. And I'm spent. Out.

Sunday, October 27
Take that, you jackass bastards. Chiefs 20, Raiders 10. Looks like somebody just got shatdacked. You don't want to know what that means, trust me. That absolutely made my day. Anyway, I applied at the bookstore today. We'll see how that goes. I need a job soon, because my funds are starting to get low. Damn that eBay. Speaking of being low, did you see where the Raiders lost today? That was awesome. I can't wait till they lose again. I'd better quit before things get out of hand. See ya next time. Out.

Tuesday, October 29
One week til my birthday. Where the hell has the time gone? I like how it's going by so fast, but it's a little strange too. My mom asked me for a few gift ideas. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted. I finally came up with a couple ballpark books and a few gift certificate ideas. One thing I definitely need more of is sweaters. It's been really chilly around here lately, the highs have been in the mid 60s for two weeks now. Weird. And the end of daylight savings time of course means it's dark really early. It's kinda depressing, really. But only a month and a half until Christmas break. I'm so ready. Also (this is gonna make this a really long entry): what exactly is wrong with me emotionally? Why do sports touch me on such a deep level? The other night, I saw the Anaheim Angels win the World Series. I was kinda rooting for them I guess, but I wasn't hardcore or anything. But there's something about the end of the World Series...the jubilation of the winning team and their fans. I probably won't experience joy on that level until I get married or have a child (which, obviously, will be on an even higher level). At this stage in my life, it's unfathomable, but I try anyway. And it makes me emotional. The heartbreak of the losing team. I can't describe how hard it is for me to watch every year when the camera focuses in on the other bench. Their eyes, their faces...yeah, they might have gone to their hotel room that night and gotten stoned or wasted or something, but for that moment, the only thing on their minds was the despair of a goal that wasn't reached, and that's a feeling I can relate to. Not only all that, but the end of the World Series means the end of baseball until spring. For me, that's a very sad thing. So while there's nothing better in my mind than a World Series Game 7, it's also a melancholy event. I have yet to openly weep, but I admit it makes me a little misty-eyed. Well, that's enough soul-spouting for one night. I'll see ya later. Out.

Wednesday, October 30
WARNING: The following contains explicit language that may not be suitable for children
I am fucked. Remember that midterm I mentioned awhile ago that I thought I did so well on? Try 50. A 50 fucking percent. And it's not like I didn't know the shit. I knew what I was talking about! How the hell did I get a 50? That test was 25% of my grade for God's sake! How the fuck am I going to turn this around? I CAN'T, that's how. It's fucking impossible! I can't believe this. I'm not doing so hot in my other classes either. I'm getting a C in three of them and the other one I'm not sure, but it sure as hell isn't an A. What am I going to do? I have to keep a 3.0 to keep my scholarship. But maybe losing my scholarship would be the best thing. I thought I was ready for this, but obviously I'm not. More than ever now, I'm asking myself if I made the right choice. Is this really the way things were supposed to happen? Did I ignore what God wanted for me to do my own thing? I don't know. That's why I'm so confused. Maybe USC isn't for me. If my grades don't improve quick it's not gonna matter, because if my scholarship's gone, there's no way we'll be able to pay for it, and I'll be coming home and trying to figure out what the fuck to do with my life. I'm so scared right now. One stupid-ass test has completely changed everything. I need some time out. Where the fuck is Christmas? Out.

Wednesday, October 30 (again)
Hey Rags, if by any chance you're reading this: I'm so sorry. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you buddy. Keep your faith strong, I wish I could be there. God bless.

Friday, November 1
I've been pretty gloomy and serious lately. What say we lighten things up a little today? That's not to say everything's all peachy again; the recent events are still weighing heavily on my mind. But for the sake of my sanity, I need to think about other things every now and then. Let's do some Friday Five.

1 Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
Yes, Christian, and more specifically, Presbyterian.
2 Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
Yes, although I haven't been to church in over two months for logistical reasons (i.e. no car). I've always believed in Jesus as my Savior, and I've seen nothing to make me believe that's not true.
3 What do you think happens after death?
Personally, I believe anyone who trusts in Jesus as Lord and Savior goes to Heaven, and anyone who doesn't goes to Hell. It may or may not be that simple, but that's at least basically it.
4 What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
For some reason, the lighting of the Advent candles makes me feel all funny inside (in a good way).
5 Do you believe people are basically good?
A year ago, it would have been definitely yes. Now I'm not so sure. I think there's some good in everyone, but evil's winning the battle in some people.

Gee, that wasn't as light-hearted as I expected. Better luck next time, Ruark. Out.

Tuesday, November 5
19 feels a whole lot like 18. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. My first birthday away from home wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and worked the rest of the night on a paper. At 7:00 I took a shower and then went to class. I pretty much slept through Writing 140 and Sociology 142 and then it was back home for me at 11. I decided to take a quick nap and then go to lunch. My nap lasted a little longer than planned; I woke up at 4:30, two and a half hours after my drawing class started. I decided to skip the last 30 minutes as well. Luckily we didn't do anything important, according to my inside sources. I went downstairs to check my mail, which consisted of several packages. The only birthday-related one was a cake from my mom. She shipped me a cake. If that's not love, I don't know what is. My family called about 8:00 or so and we had a nice talk. Anyway, I spent most of the evening by myself listening to music. I did go down and play pool for about an hour, and after that John came up and helped me lower my bed, which was like ten feet tall. Well, maybe more like five. Other than that, it was pretty much a regular day. A little lonely, yeah, but not more so than I expected. My spirits have picked up the last day or two because everybody in studio's so cool. For a while, I thought about skipping the Ben Folds concert on the 13th, but now I think I'm gonna try to go again. Hopefully it's not sold out yet. Anyway, to sum it all up, my birthday was a little sad but not depressing. Just over a month til I get to come home. If I knew what day it was, I'd be counting down the minutes. I'm done. Good night from your sad but hopeful 19-year-old friend.

Thursday, November 7
It's official. I depart Los Angeles at 5:00 p.m. on December 17 (don't ask me how I'm getting to the airport). I can now begin the countdown, as of 1:17 a.m. on November 8: 37 days, 15 hours, 43 minutes. I think counting down seconds is fairly useless, since several have elapsed since I began this very sentence. So I'll just count down minutes. Anyway, I leave in about 6 hours for the Weekender, the annual trip to either the Stanford or Cal game, whichever happens to be on the schedule that year (this year it's Stanford). I'm a little nervous as I think there's going to be some initiation activities, so I'll be sure and relate them all here when I get back sometime Sunday. See ya then! Oh and bye the way, I'm going to stop saying "Out" at the end of every entry. I think it's getting tiresome. Now, whenever I finish with what I want to say, I'll just stop typ

Tuesday, November 12
The Weekender was actually a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. The freshmen were harassed, but not hazed. The bus ride was when most of the harassing took place; each freshmen had to get up several times during the course of the trip and tell a joke. With only one or two exceptions, each joke was booed and the freshman was forced to stand in "The Head," the little bathroom at the back of the bus. At one point they crammed 8 of us in there. It really wasn't too bad, and check this out: we watched porn on the bus. It was kind of surreal. At the game, the Trojans dominated, and we actually have a real tiny, slim chance at going to a BCS bowl if everything happens just right. Probably not, but we'll still get a pretty good bowl game. I've been a little sick the last two days, and I skipped class this morning to rest up. But today was gorgeous, I could see the hill off in the distance for the first time in weeks. For those of you who don't know, there's a hill several miles from USC that I can see from my window if it's clear outside. Usually it's too hazy, though. The first couple of weeks I wondered if I was hallucinating. And I've changed my mind again, and I won't be going to the Ben Folds concert. Too much work. But Hoobastank will be here Thursday for free. I'll definitely check that out.

Friday, November 15
This was the most DISGUSTING morning of my life. I've been sick the last few days and my nose is still a little stuffed up, so I have to sleep with my mouth open. I'm sure you all know that this causes a gross, white film to cover pretty much the entire inside of your mouth. So I had that going. Then, when I opened my eyes, I realized that I had had a nosebleed in the middle of the night. Normally, a bloody nose wakes me up, but not this time. A huge red stain connected to my nostril was on my pillow. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. Now take into account that I haven't found time to shave in about two weeks, the little eye-crusties that I hadn't brushed out yet, the dried-up blood on the right side of my face, and my breath, which couldn't possibly have been sweet, and this morning at about 11:00 was almost certainly the least attractive I've ever been. Anyway, if I don't update the site very often in the coming weeks, I apologize. It looks like I'm going to be extremely busy with final projects and portfolios and research papers and such. Yippee. I'm wondering why that counter on the home page is moving so damn slow. Well, since I forgot to do the Friday Five last week, and there's not one this week for reasons unbeknownst to me, I'll just do the one I missed from last week. Here goes.

1 Did you vote in your last elections?
No.
2 Do you know who your elected representatives are?
I'm not sure if my elected representatives are in Oklahoma or California. But no either way. Geez, I should be kicked out of democracy.
3 Have you ever contacted an elected representative? If so, what was it about?
If I ever did, my chronic drug use has eliminated it from my brain. And by drugs, I mean I'm trying way too hard to make a funny comment when a simple "No." would've done. Like on #1.
4 Have you ever participated in a demonstration?
This is really reaching, but I'm tired of just saying "No." to every answer. When I was 5 or 6, I told my mom that I had run out of things to say, so I was going to stop talking forever. I actually remember saying that. Nothing political, but it's kind of taking a stand in a weird way.
Have you ever volunteered in an election? What was the result?
I've never volunteered, and there was no result in that particular election.

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention about the Weekender. During one of the lunch stops in Middleofnowheresville, California, some of the freshman trumpets were eating outside our bus, guarding it from the Bones, when a man in a truck pulled up and asked for our autographs! I knew the TMB had fans, but this was ridiculous! He said something like, "You guys are awesome! I love Tusk!" So anyway, the 7 or 8 of us over there took turns signing our names (and our band names) onto his little notepad. The first and last time anyone will ask for my autograph. Very surreal. Tomorrow's Homecoming. Not that you care.

Thursday, November 28
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all...this was my first one away from home. Honestly, it felt a lot like any other day, since I spent most of it working in the studio on my final project. Incidentally, this will probably be my last update until about December 7 or so, because I have got an unbelievable amount of work due in the next week and a half. But anyway, I went to EVK about 6:45 to get some grub. When I checked in with my card, the guy said something about closing in 10 minutes, and that I should hurry...I said "OK," but inside I was thinking, "I'm eating at EVK on Thanksgiving. I'll take however long I want, ass." So 20 minutes later, after the music had been stopped and half the lights turned off, and most of the chairs placed on top of tables, there I was, polishing off the last of my dinner. It wasn't too bad, actually. The turkey was pretty good, although I've had water that was thicker than the gravy. Besides turkey, all I had was a bowl of Lucky Charms and some cheesecake, with Hawaiian Punch to wash it down. Easily the strangest Thanksgiving meal I've ever had. In the spirit of the holiday, I've come up with a small list of some things I'm thankful for.

A family that loves me and each other so much I can't begin to understand it
A group of amazing friends
The opportunity to follow my dreams, wherever that may lead me
My discovery of Better Than Ezra and Ben Folds Five
The ESPN BottomLine on my desktop
That little bit of optimism that continues to stick in me

So anyway, short list but I'm having a little trouble concentrating. It's been a rough semester for me, but I've still got plenty to be thankful for. I think a holiday where everyone takes time out to give thanks for the many blessings we all enjoy is truly ingenious. And I like to eat too. =) Hope it was good for you. Until next time.

Monday, December 2
Gosh, I had a crummy weekend. I worked on my final studio project for parts of three days, before Saturday's game vs. Notre Dame. You know, the one I've been looking forward to all year, the one with BCS implications, the one that I wanted to go to if I only got to go to one. After practice, I decided to get a couple hours of sleep before the game since I hadn't gotten much in the previous few days. Call time for the game was 3:00; I woke up at 4:30. I missed the Notre Dame game. I watched the Trojans pound the Irish on TV in my frickin' room. After the game, about 9:00, I went to studio and worked until 6:00 PM the next day when it was due. All told, I put in about 25 hours of work on this project. I didn't get it finished. I turned in an incomplete final project. Last night about 6:00 was the absolute worst I've felt in quite a while. 14 hours of sleep and a talk with the folks helped, but I'm still pretty bummed. And I've got another final project (for 105, Drawing) due Friday, plus part of an 18-page paper and an impromptu essay tomorrow. *Sighhhhhh*. I hate this. Just two more weeks. God help me.

Monday, December 9
Well, it's 3:30, so technically it's the 10th. Anyway, lots to talk about. First and foremost, the Trojans (and I) are going to the Orange Bowl (cue the chorus to Will Smith's "Miami"), where we'll annihilate the Iowa Hawkeyes. Seriously, I think we're underrated, Iowa's overrated, and that we're a much better team. In fact, I think we're the best team in the country. Our offense is unstoppable (ask Notre Dame's formerly 5th-ranked defense about the 44 points we put on them), our defense is like a rock (ask Colorado's powerful attack about the 3 points we allowed them), and our kicking game, which kept us out of the Rose Bowl because of a missed extra point in the WSU game, has greatly improved to the point of dependability. Hopefully Carson Palmer will win the Heisman as well. Anyway, I've got this week off to study for my two finals, plus I have to put together a portfolio for architecture. Nothing too stressful. I'm looking to put in some valuable time with my Ben Folds Five piano book. I'm completely stoked about coming home in a week. It's damn near all I think about. And Christmas season is here too. I love it. It's the greatest time of the year. Go enjoy it.

Saturday, December 14
And your 2002 Heisman Trophy winner is...Carson Palmer! That's right, college football's top honor returns to the West Coast as SC's star QB beats out some heavy competition to become the first Trojan to win the award since Marcus "The freakin' Man" Allen in 1981. Congrats to you, Carson. And I've got a developing situation; I won't go into detail at this point, but involves a note being left at my desk. I may have to resolve it next semester, as my return home draws ever closer. I need to get some sleep so I can work feverishly on my portfolio and study for some finals, so I'm done for now. Have a good one.

Sunday, December 15
Real quicklike, as I have a lot of work to do on my portfolio overnight...
My developing situation is still just that; developing. I know who the author of the note is (I actually figured that out last night), but that's only raised more questions. Right now I'm still really confused as to exactly what's happening, but hopefully I'll get a few answers tomorrow. If you're intrigued yet, IM me or something and maybe I'll feel like explaining it. That is all. Night.

Monday, December 16
Things have suddenly gone sour. I didn't finish my portfolio (are you noticing a trend here?), and I doubt that I did very well on my Arch 114 final. My "developing situation" turned out to be nothing, although I figured that might be a possibility from the beginning. After turning in what little portfolio I had, with the weight of all these things plus the bad memories of everything else that's gone wrong this semester, I walked back to my dorm. It started to sprinkle. By the time I was halfway there it was pouring rain, a cold wind was blowing (I was wearing a ballcap, thin sweater, shorts, and sandals) and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down in public. It was hard to believe that only 12 hours earlier I was walking the same stretch, singing Christmas carols to myself. My Christmas spirit was completely broken. When I walked into my room, I couldn't feel my feet and all I could think about was all the failure I've experienced here and how I was going home soon. Jason wasn't there, so what I did next surprised even me. I cried. I cried like an 8-year-old girl. Then I went to sleep for six hours. I feel a little better now, but I just can't wait to get my sociology final over with and go home. I can't take much more. Less than 24 hours. It can't possibly come too soon.