Disclaimer: Paramount's.. all Paramount's...
Dedicated to my Aunt, for waking me up...
"Oh, that feels good..."
"I've had a lot of practice at this. My mother used to get
sore necks all the time - I was the only one she'd trust not to
make it worse."
Involuntarily my eyes close, and I begin to relax, leaning back
slightly as Chakotay's strong hands gently massage my sore neck
muscles, working each and every ache and ache out. I've never
felt so relaxed and - and comfortable in my life. Not even with
Mark had I been so completely at ease.
And that's what panics me, every time I feel this. The words that
have haunted my life for the past three years come back to me
again - not the first time since we've been stranded here on New
Earth.
'There are some lines we never cross...'
Those words, Chakotay's own words, have been a curse, a millstone
around my neck. Sometimes I think I was too curious for my own
good that day; that was one question I should never have asked.
'How... close do we grow?'
'Let's just say, there are some lines we never cross...'
Damn the Temporal Prime Directive. In fact, damn time travel.
There are so many decisions that maybe I would have made
differently if it weren't for that visit from the 'future'
Chakotay three years ago. I know, although Chakotay doesn't, that
this dream-like life we have here has to end - will end. How, I
don't know, but while Chakotay is intent on building a home here,
I've tried to distance myself from it as much as possible. Even
if I haven't always been entirely successful.
I feel Chakotay's hands slow, then stop, as he senses my
hesitation.
'There are some lines...'
I stand quickly, knowing that I have to stop this before I do
something that would change the future, change history, cause a
paradox... Something like kiss those damnably gorgeous lips of
his, or caress that cheek, or-
I stammer something inane about needing to sleep, and move away
as fast as I can without letting my haste show too badly.
'...some lines...'
I lay on the bed, my head turned the partition where I know
Chakotay is sitting, wondering what he's done wrong. Unbidden,
the hurt look I sometimes see fleetingly on his face comes to my
mind, the look he gets when I inexplicably pull back.
I feel sorry for him; little does he know that he is the reason I
have to pull back, that his own as-yet-unuttered words are the
reason that nothing of significance can be allowed to happen
between us.
'There are some lines we never cross...'
They haunt me now... will they haunt him one day?