"My Body May Die"
By Coral
Disclaimer: Paramount and all that...
Dedicated to Bec, for listening to me moan about lack of title,
and giving me the idea for the final product. :)
She came to see me today, as she has every day for the past
two weeks. Her visits are one of the few things I look forward to
now - there is little else in my life. I am still on the active
duty roster, but I know the truth. I shall never serve on a
starship again, in any capacity. They have food dispensers - they
don't need human vegetables too...
"Chris..." she sighed once, before turning away to look
out of the window at the starbase. "I'm leaving on the USS
Intrepid tomorrow. Shipful of Vulcans... could be
fascinating," she added. The attempt at humour seemed odd on
her, but I appreciated it for what it was - her way of reaching
out to me.
Vulcans. I suppose someone thought that she would fit in there,
her lack of emotions an asset. No, not a lack of emotions - an
apparent lack of emotions. I, better than anyone else, should
know that. I was the only one she ever let close, the only she
ever cared for, the only one she ever... loved.
"I - I'll miss you Chris."
I beeped once. How - insufficient it seemed, when what I really
wanted was to take in her my arms and promise never to leave her
again. I wanted the ability to turn back time, and make sure
things turned out differently between us. To make sure that the
last memory of me wasn't my face as I told her to leave me, and
never come back.
"I wish things had turned out differently. Then, maybe this
would never have happened."
I beeped twice. It had been my fault, all mine. I had lost my
temper, I had ruined our chances. I'd ordered her to leave me.
I was a fool.
"Chris, I was to blame too. It wasn't just you." She
briefly touched my face, the least damaged side, and I wished
that I could touch her back.
I beeped twice again. I wanted to break out of the chair, but I
couldn't do it. My body no longer takes it commands from me... I
had a starship and, for a brief time, a lover, but now I don't
even have myself.
She touched me again, and I felt sorry for her. She was condemned
to love a mute cripple, one who could do nothing for her in
return. I wanted to tell her to move on, to find someone else,
but I couldn't.
"I'll never forget you, Chris, but I won't be back for four
years at the soonest. I'll send you transmissions... and..."
She broke off, leaning in closer to whisper in my ear. "I
forgive you, and I love you."
She stood quickly then and left, without a single backwards
glance. And, as I watched her go, I discovered one last thing my
otherwise useless body could do.
A tear slid down my cheek.
End