Who Would Be Eve?
By Coral
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount. As if you didn't know. Number One's background came from an idea by Majel Barrett-Roddenberry.
She was finally off her duty shift. Handing command of the bridge over to Lieutenant Spock, Number One headed for the turbolift. Stepping inside, she took hold of the 'lift handle and ordered, "Deck Five. Crew quarters." Then she slipped back into her muddled thoughts.
Their encounter with the Talosians had disturbed her - disturbed her greatly. She had to admit, it was true that she'd felt - well, attracted to the Captain in a romantic sense, but in her life, she'd never had much experience. She'd never had a warm home relationship, being one of a batch of eight test tube babies that were produced as part of an experiment. They'd been kept together in a type of boarding house for only the eight of them until school age and them brought up for a life in Starfleet. Friends and family hadn't come into her purview.
The lift stopped and she got out and started walking automatically down the corridor, nodding to crewmembers as they passed. Emotions themselves were actually quite alien to her, and the concept of expressing them even more so, but ever since their return to the ship she knew that she had to speak to the Captain and get this feeling under control.
Especially after Yeoman Colt's question had made her knees shake.
She found herself standing outside the Captain's quarters. This was it. All she had to do was announce her presence. Chris would let her in. She'd confess all her feelings to him, tell him how much she loved him. Hopefully, he would tell her how much he loved her in return, and... And what?
Number One had always been a strategist; it was how she had been bred. Not knowing the other half of her own plan was an unforgivable weakness. What's more, she was woefully untrained in this sort of thing. What did one do next?
Improvise, a voice told her. Retreat, another one said. No! She'd come this far. All she had to do was to reach out and push the chimes. Push them. Then everything would be fine, wouldn't it? Push them. It was a simple action, nothing difficult; all this delay was stupid. Just push them...!
She drew her fingers back in shock as she realised shed had finally pushed them. She thought about running, letting him think it was just a malfunction, or his imagination. But she was not a coward.
She jumped slightly as the doors swished open in front of her to reveal the Captain, his hair tousled as if he'd just got out of bed. Damn. She hadn't meant to interrupt him like this. She felt herself blush slightly and hoped he didn't notice.
"Something wrong, Number One?" the Captain asked with a slightly lopsided grin. "Don't tell me you're wondering who Eve would have been too?"
Her throat felt dry all of a sudden. It was now or never. Time to take the big plunge.
"Of course not, Captain," she heard herself say. "I merely came to see if you were alright after your... um...your experience on the planet."
"Fine, perfectly fine." He stopped short, as if there was more he wanted to say.
"Was there something else?"
"I just keep wondering... if this isn't another illusion created by the Talosians. I could still be back in that cage, back on the planet."
"Believe me," Number One said, inwardly kicking herself for not being brave enough to admit her feelings to him, "I feel as real as anything."
"Ah, but you would say that, wouldn't you?" he said wisely.
She allowed him one of her rare smiles. "Do you want me to hit you to prove it?"
"I don't think I want to be on the receiving end of one of your punches. Thanks for the offer though."
"Anytime," she replied. Little voices inside her head were telling her that it was time to beat a hasty retreat.
"Next time I want to end up in sickbay I'll call you. Who has the bridge?"
"Lieutenant Spock, sir," she replied, all duty again after her momentary lapse. That was one of the things she liked about the Chris - he could loosen her up like no one else could. "I - I suppose I'd better be on my way."
"Goodnight Number One. See you at 0800."
"Goodnight," she replied, and the doors slid shut. She could have kicked herself; she'd totally screwed this all up. How could she ever have thought that this was going to be easy?
"What am I going to do?" she wondered out loud.
"Do about what?" Dr Boyce asked as he came around the corner.
"Just talking to myself, Doctor," she said airily, chiding herself for letting her control slip. "Nothing to worry about."
"Are you sure? Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, they say," the Doctor said.
"Who says?"
"It's just a saying, Lieutenant. Would you like me to pour you a drink?"
The remark seemed such a non sequitur that Number One was momentarily thrown by it.
"What?"
"Sometimes a woman will tell her bartender things she'll never tell her Doctor..."
"Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrow in a perfect imitation of Spock.
"Really," the Doctor said, taking her arm and guiding her towards her quarters without her realising...
END