Thanks again for the comments! You’re all so kind!

____________________________________________

Little recap:

1) Diane and Ric are an item.

2) Diane is pregnant with Steve’s baby. Only Ric, Jess, Mubbs, and Kath know. Jess is thrilled.

3) Tom has discovered that he has a daughter named Josie.

4) Alex has quarrelled with Diane, after causing a patient’s death because of his tremor. The patient was Josie’s mum, Jenn.

5) Tom and Anita are an item.

6) Chrissie is on maternity leave, and lives with Tricia. She only speaks to Ed if she needs something.

Totally random facts that may or may not have relevance in the rest of the story:

1) Ric is scared of cats, but is trying to put up with Diane’s kitten Mitsy.

2) Diane has taken a photo of Ric when he was asleep, with the cat looking at him.

3) Anita is only eight years older than Tom’s daughter.

4) Ric is 21 years older than Diane (This is actually true. Hugh Quarshie is 21 years older than Patricia Potter, anyway. She’s 28, and he’s 49)

5) Jess owes Ric fifty pounds.

6) Diane used to keep fish. Ric used to have a dog that was called Bruno. Ric didn’t like the fish, and Diane didn’t like the dog.

Now then… on with the story!

*~*~*

Ric sat up in bed automatically as he heard the door open. “Diane?”

“I’m fine,” she called. “Just need a drink.”

Ric lay back down. When she’d got up during the night during the last week, she’d been sick. It made him wonder if she had been like that before – and how she could have put that down to anything apart from pregnancy. As usual, as soon as the door was opened, Mitsy had run into the room, and climbed onto the bed. That was okay. Ric was getting used to Mitsy.

Diane came back in, and climbed into the bed. “Hi, Mitsy.” She grinned at Ric. “You know, I think she likes you. She was never around half so much when it was just me.”

“She’s probably jealous that you’ve got a new friend,” Ric replied, yawning.

“Are you jealous, Mits?” Diane asked the little cat. “Are you jealous of Mummy and Uncle Ric?”

“Uncle Ric?” he repeated.

“What would you like to be called?”

“I don’t want to be ‘uncle’ to a cat,” he said. “If you want to call yourself ‘Mummy’, then that’s fine – weird, but fine. Just don’t drag me into it.”

Mitsy wandered across Ric’s stomach, and stared at him.

“I think you’re in this whether you like it or not, Ric,” Diane teased him. “You’re not getting out now.”

“Who says I want to?”

*~*~*

“Josie?” Tom asked, entering the kitchen, where Josie was standing by the sink. She had elected to stay with him for the past week, because her own home was too full of memories of Jenn. Each day, she hoped to return home, but each day, managed to put it off. Tom planned to ask Anita to speak to her the following day – Anita would surely understand better, as a psychiatrist, but also as a woman. Women were always better at that sort of thing, Tom thought. He personally hated having “discussions”, as his mother had always called them. They were embarrassing and uncomfortable, often culminating in tears or shouting.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said, softly. Tom could now see that she was crying.

“Are you alright, Jo?” he asked, approaching her.

“I – yeah.” She poured herself a glass of water, and downed it in one. “It just sunk in. Mum’s not coming back, is she?”

Tom wanted desperately to be able to say something to make it better. The paternal instincts in him had been awakened on the day that Jenn died, and had been fighting desperately to break out ever since. Here was an outlet for them.

“She might not be coming back, Josie,” he said, slowly. “But do you think that she’s really gone? She’s here now, in this room, with us. She would never leave you, Jo. She loves you.”

“But – it’s not the same,” Josie burst out. “Everyone says she’s still here, but I can’t see her! I can’t hear her talking to me, I can’t see her, and I don’t even know if she’s here or not!” Tears were making their way down her cheeks, and her voice was shaky and uncontrolled. “And if she is here, how do I even know if she likes me? I’ve said some terrible things – if she’s with me all the time, she must be so disappointed in me.”

“Jenn’s love for you is unconditional, Josie,” Tom replied. “She doesn’t only love you if you are perfect. She loves you no matter what you do, because you’re her daughter.”

Josie looked at him steadily. “How do you know that? How do you know that she would never stop loving me?”

“Because that’s how I feel, Josie. And if I would never stop loving you, then you can be sure that Jenn wouldn’t.” He hugged her, and let her cry in his arms.

*~*~*

“Morning Dad, Diane,” Jess called, cheerfully, as Ric and Diane strolled into AAU after their first operation of the day, laughing. “And,” she added, triumphantly. “I’ve got the fifty pounds.”

“Finally,” Ric replied, causing Diane to begin laughing again.

“You’re very cheerful today,” Jess commented. “Are you drunk?”

“Chance would be a fine thing,” Diane said, pretending to glare at Ric. “I’m not even allowed to handle alcohol.”

“There’s no need,” Ric retorted.

“Hi,” Lisa greeted them, as she walked past with a pile of papers. “Jess, can you take these down to Keller for me?”

“Yeah, sure. Who are they for?”

“Kath.” Ric and Diane shared a look. Neither of them had any patience with Lisa’s on-going feud with Kath. Even though Kath had been cleared of all charges, Lisa still refused to make up with the woman who was, in fact, her stepmother. Jess didn’t comment, however, and simply took the file.

“Any new patients for us to see, Lisa?” Ric queried.

Lisa shook her head. “Nope… it’s been really quiet today.”

“Very well then, I think I will accompany my daughter,” he said, turning to follow Jess. Diane began to leave as well, but Lisa caught her arm.

“Diane, I – I haven’t seen much of you recently, I just wanted to say congratulations, you know, about you and Ric.”

“Thanks,” Diane replied, somewhat uncertainly. She had never been very close to Lisa – more so especially since she had found her in bed with Danny. She hurried to catch up with Ric and Jess.

“What did Lisa want?” Ric asked.

“To congratulate us.”

“That’s nice of her,” Jess commented.

“Oh, Ric, I’ve got an appointment with Mubbs today,” Diane informed him.

“What time? I’m at the Hadlington from ten until one.”

“Eleven-thirty,” Diane replied. “Typical.”

“I can miss it,” Ric offered, immediately. “I wouldn’t want to miss your first appointment.”

“No, no, I can’t make you do that,” Diane said, quickly. “Besides, I’m a big girl. I don’t need you to come with me,” she added, teasingly.

“I’ll come if you want,” Jess suggested. “My break is at eleven-thirty.”

“Would you?” Diane asked. “That’d be great. Don’t you mind?”

“Not at all,” Jess replied. “What’s going to happen?”

“No idea.”

“Yes, why would you have an idea?” Ric asked, sarcastically. “You’re only a doctor, a surgeon, after all.”

“Precisely,” Diane replied. “I’m a surgeon, not a midwife.” She glanced at her watch. “And you’d better get going – it’s nine-thirty.”

“Already?” Ric looked at his own watch, and sighed loudly. “It’s stopped.” He snatched Diane’s wrist, ignoring her complaint, and nodded. “I’ll be back – sometime.” He kissed Diane, took her watch, and raced off.

“I’ll take those to Kath if you want,” Diane offered.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you at eleven-thirty,” Jess replied, handing the papers to Diane, and leaving.

“Kath?” Diane greeted her. “These are from AAU.”

“Thanks,” Kath replied, taking the papers. “How are you? How’s the baby?”

“We’re fine,” Diane replied. She paused, thinking. Kath was probably the best person to talk to about her recent thoughts. “Kath? You’re religious, right?”

“I try to be. Why?”

“Just… I don’t know.”

Kath glanced at her. “There has to be a reason you asked, Diane. Unless of course you ask that question of everyone?”

“It’s just… I’m not meant to have a baby when I’m not married, am I?” Diane asked, quietly.

“Am I answering this as a Catholic, or just a person?” Kath queried.

“A Catholic, please.”

“Do you want my personal view, or the view of a stereotypical Catholic?”

“Are they different?” Diane asked.

“Yes. I believe that you’re doing the right thing. I don’t think that you will be damned for all eternity because you’re having a baby, Diane.” She paused. “Why are you so interested all of a sudden?”

“I’ve just been thinking about it lately. With Steve and everything, you know,” she added, uncomfortably.

At this point, they were interrupted. Alex came storming into the ward. “You were meant to have been in theatre five minutes ago,” he told Diane, angrily.

“Since when?” she demanded, immediately defensive. Since their argument the previous week, Alex and Diane hadn’t spoken much.

“Since this morning when my list of patients was given out. See? Nine forty-five.” He pointed at the number on the page, and Diane automatically looked for her watch to prove him wrong.

“Ric took my watch. I’m sorry.” She shared an anguished look with Kath. “What time is it?”

“Nine fifty.”

“I’m so sorry!” she apologised, beginning to pull her hair back quickly. “What are we doing?”

“Burst aneurysm, sixty-year-old man,” he said, shortly.

“I’ll be one minute, I promise,” she said, beginning to change.

*~*~*

“Anita?” Tom asked, knocking on her door.

She looked up. “C’mon in.”

“Thanks,” he said, entering. “Are you doing anything tonight?”

“Nope. Free as a bird,” she replied.

“Do you want to come round?” he queried. “I think it would do Josie good to see someone other than me for once.”

“How is she?” Anita looked concerned.

“She’s – quiet. And she’s saying strange things.”

“Like what?”

Tom considered. “She thinks that Jenn won’t love her any more – because she can see everything that she does. And it only sank in last night that Jenn is never coming back.”

“That’s normal, Tom,” Anita replied. “You’ve never lost a parent, have you?”

“You know I haven’t.” They’d discussed his parents in their sessions. Why did she even ask him?

“Then you don’t know that it takes a while for it to sink in,” Anita continued. “Sure, Josie cried and knew that her mum was dead, but she didn’t realise the full extent of it. Death is a complex thing, Tom. And you, you work with death every day. You’ve got blasé about it. But when it happens to you, when the person you value above everything and everyone in this world, it’s – well, it takes a while. But once you’ve accepted it, then… you can start healing. It never stops hurting and you never stop wanting them, but it gets less. After a while, you can bear it. You wake up one morning and they aren’t the first things on your mind – and that seems awful. But it’s not, because when they were alive, they weren’t in your every thought. And it’s no different when they’re not.”

Something in Anita’s voice made Tom think. “Have you ever…?”

“Yeah.” She looked down. “My mum died when I was sixteen. Then my dad died when I was twenty.”

“I – I’m sorry.”

“Yes, well.” Anita didn’t want to talk about it. “Josie’s lucky. She’s got you. I had no one.” She began absent-mindedly ripping up a tissue, anything to distract herself. She didn’t like talking about her parents. Even though it had been eight and twelve years, it still hurt like hell. But it was true – it did get more bearable.

“So do you want to come?” Tom asked, after a few minutes.

“I’d love to,” she said, in a voice a little above a whisper. When she looked up, her eyes were full of tears. Tom hugged her.

“I’m sorry, Anita.”

“It’s not your fault,” she said, trying to laugh weakly. She felt guilty about acting like this – after all, Josie’s grief was newer, more acute. But Josie doubtless would cope with her grief better than she, Anita, had done. She had bottled her grief up, never letting on how she felt. As a psychiatrist, she knew that she shouldn’t, but there was no one to talk to. When you’re a psychiatrist, you spend your life listening. And no one had listened to her in eight years, because there hadn’t been anyone. And now there was Tom.

*~*~*

The moment that Diane walked into theatre, she felt the nausea wash over her. She closed her eyes briefly, and tried to take a deep breath without Alex noticing. He wasn’t happy with her as it was. If she had to bottle out now, he would probably never speak to her again.

As she approached the table, she almost laughed at the irony of it. There were two surgeons, both of them incompetent – she, the pregnant woman feeling sick, and he, the man suffering from Parkinson’s. And then the urge to laugh evaporated – partly because she realised how serious it was, but partly because she had to concentrate on not being sick or fainting.

“Thank you for coming, Miss Lloyd,” Alex said, sarcastically.

“My pleasure, Mr Adams,” she snapped. She hadn’t meant to speak like that, she thought, scandalised. She glanced up at him awkwardly. He wasn’t looking too happy.

“Would you like to start?” he asked. She knew what he was doing. He didn’t trust himself to operate. She didn’t trust him to operate either – but she didn’t trust herself not to be sick. And she was feeling light-headed now, too. The last thing she needed to do was faint. But still, she took the scalpel.

As she prepared to make the incision, the room began to spin. “Alex?” she asked.

He sighed impatiently. “What’s the matter?”

“I – I feel a bit sick…”

“You’ll cope, Diane,” he replied, unfeelingly.

“I…” She couldn’t continue. She clutched wildly at the table to stop herself from falling, but it didn’t work. Everything went black.

*~*~*

Ric was just washing his hands when he was called.

“Mr Griffin?” It was a young student nurse.

“Yes… Zachary, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s right. You, ah, you got a phone call,” Zachary replied. “Says her name’s Kath.”

“Kath?” Ric repeated, following Zachary up to the phone. He picked it up. “Kath?”

“Ric,” Kath began. “Now, don’t panic, but…”

“That’s never a good start to a sentence, Kath,” Ric replied, beginning to panic already. “What is it?”

“It’s Diane. She collapsed in theatre.”

*~*~*

Within ten minutes, Ric was at Diane’s side. “Are you alright?” he asked, anxiously. She was lying in a bed in maternity, looking vaguely amused at Ric’s reaction. He had sprinted past the door of her room twice, and when he had finally arrived, he had knocked over a lamp. He would be explaining it to Owen, she decided.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I just felt a bit faint, that’s all.”

“You collapsed,” he protested.

“I fainted,” she corrected him. “Everyone faints at one point in their life. I fainted in church once…”

“You’ve got a bruise,” he commented, touching the purple mark on her head.

“I fell on the floor – I think I hit my head.” She sighed. “It’s nothing, really, Ric. Don’t worry.”

“What happened, then?” he asked, sitting down on the bed.

“I was in theatre with Alex, and I felt a bit sick. Then he wanted me to start, and… I felt faint. And I fainted.”

“Why didn’t you tell him that you felt ill?” Ric queried.

“I did.” She sat up. “He told me that I’d be fine. Then I fainted.”

“Have you seen Owen or Mubbs yet?” Ric decided that Alex was a touchy subject. He didn’t like him, and from the way that Diane had spoken about him recently, it seemed as though she didn’t like him much either.

“No. I’ve only been here five minutes, though. Besides, there’s no need. I’m fine,” she insisted, hoping that she looked it, because she certainly didn’t feel it. But she didn’t want pity – and Ric was too protective of her.

“If you say so,” Ric replied, not looking convinced. After all, Diane would say she was fine after spending an hour being sick in the middle of the night. He supposed it was true about women having a higher pain threshold than men – or at least, Diane had.

“Well, well,” Mubbs commented, entering. “What’ve you been doing?”

“She collapsed in theatre,” Ric replied.

Diane shot him a look. “I fainted. And I’m fine.”

“Well, at least you complain less than Chrissie,” Mubbs remarked.

“Chrissie?” Diane repeated.

“Yeah, she’s in labour. And man, can that woman yell,” he laughed. “She’s complaining about everything.”

Diane glared at him. “And if you were having a baby, you’d be really calm?”

“I wouldn’t make everyone’s life a misery, that’s for sure,” Mubbs replied.

Diane was about to reply, but Ric clamped a hand over her mouth. “So what do you think—?” He broke off quickly as Diane bit his finger. “Please don’t do that.”

“Then don’t put your hand over my mouth,” she retorted. “Mubbs, I’m fine. Honestly.”

“’Course you are,” he agreed. Diane shot Ric a triumphant look. “But,” he added, giving Ric the chance to return Diane’s look, “You do need to relax a bit. Maybe cut back on the surgery a little?”

“And how am I going to do that? Who would take over?” Diane demanded.

“Hey, don’t get angry at me!” Mubbs said, injured. “I was just making a suggestion. Stay in that bed for the rest of today. Get plenty of rest, make sure you eat and drink enough, and try to avoid stressful situations.”

“I’m a surgeon,” she replied. “That might be hard.”

“It won’t be,” Ric put in. Diane grimaced.

“Try taking a holiday or something,” Mubbs suggested. “When was the last time you had one?”

“I had a few days off over Easter,” Diane replied. Mubbs was paged, and left, muttering to himself about Chrissie.

“Where did you go?” Ric queried.

“Nowhere. I stayed at home with Mitsy.”

“When was the last time you went away?” Ric questioned.

“Ah… not sure.” Diane thought. “October. I went away with Danny for the weekend.”

“A weekend? That’s the longest holiday you’ve had?”

“I haven’t got anyone to go away with,” Diane replied. “I booked the holiday with Danny because it was either that or break up – which we did anyway. Waste of money, really. And Danny’s the only serious boyfriend I’ve had – well, since you. And I don’t have any family.”

“You must have some family.”

“My mum’s dead,” she said. “You know that. You were there, remember? You were the surgeon.”

“I remember,” he replied. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. And I don’t have any brothers or sisters,” she finished. “Mitsy’s the only family I have. Well, and the baby now.”

“You’ve got me,” Ric said, hugging her. “And you’ve got a dad.”

“No, I haven’t,” she replied quickly.

“You did have.”

“Not since I was a child,” she corrected him.

“But I – I saw him,” said Ric, in some confusion. “I met him when your mother was in hospital – when I met you.”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“That’s not an explanation,” Ric told her.

“It wasn’t meant to be.” But when he continued looking at her, she decided that she should give some explanation. “Fine. He’s not my dad. He might be my father, but I can’t call him my dad.”

“Why not?” Suddenly he remembered a conversation he had overheard between Diane and Danny, about a girl who had been raped. Diane had taken the girl’s side, and had told Danny that he didn’t know what he was talking about, that the girl might have her own reasons for keeping to herself. “Diane… did he…?”

“Attack me? Hit me? Punch me? Kick me? Bully me? Abuse me?” she asked, in a vicious whisper. “Scare me so much that I thought I’d die? Make me cry myself to sleep for sixteen years?” She looked up at him. “He did all of that. More.”

“I… didn’t know.” Ric was silent.

“I don’t tell people,” she replied. “And now do you understand why he isn’t my dad?”

“I shouldn’t have asked,” Ric said, hugging her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

*~*~*

Back in surgery, Alex paged Ed, and the operation went smoothly.

“Why did you need me?” Ed demanded, as they were washing up.

“Because Miss Lloyd got queasy,” Alex replied.

“Miss Lloyd?” Ed repeated. “So Diane’s pissed you off in some way, then?”

“No.” Alex turned away. “What makes you say that?”

“Because you’ve been so chummy with her recently, that I know you aren’t calling her Miss Lloyd all the time,” Ed said. “So… what’s she done?” When Alex was silent, he thought. “I know… it’s because she’s dating Ric, isn’t it? You like her! You like Diane?”

“No.” Alex stormed out, leaving Ed and his newfound knowledge to himself.

*~*~*

“Did it go okay, Mr Adams?” asked the young woman, waiting anxiously by the side of the bed. “Is Dad gonna be okay?”

“It went fine…”

“Isabel.”

“Isabel. It went fine, yes,” replied Alex. “Although the other surgeon did turn queasy—”

“Mr Adams!” Ric interrupted.

“Yes?” Alex asked, turning around. “I’ll be with you in a moment, Isabel.” He followed Ric. “What?”

“Firstly, I would appreciate it if you did not talk about Diane behind her back,” Ric said, sternly.

“I wasn’t. I was simply putting Isabel at ease.”

“At Diane’s expense,” Ric put in. “And secondly, why didn’t you help her?”

“What do you mean?”

“When she told you that she felt sick. Why didn’t you help her?”

“Why should I help her?” Alex asked. “She’s a surgeon, she should be able to cope with surgery without fainting.”

“She’s pregnant, that’s why,” Ric replied. “But of course, that wouldn’t mean anything to you, would it? You just think that pregnancy is an inconvenience, something that you have to stop as quickly as possible. Well, Diane doesn’t share those views—”

Alex interrupted him. “Having that abortion was just as much Jess’ decision as mine!”

“You forced her into it! If it hadn’t been for you, Jess would never even have thought of having an abortion,” Ric stated.

“How can you be so sure, Ric?” Alex taunted. “She was the one who signed the form. She was the one who let it happen.”

Ric began to answer, but he didn’t trust himself. He turned and left.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Alex replied. “Just walk away. That’ll get rid of your problem.”

“Are you calling Diane and the baby a problem?” Ric demanded, whirling around. “Forget it, Alex. You’re just jealous because she chose me and not you. You’re not good enough for her.” He took advantage of the fact that Alex was speechless with anger to leave.

*~*~*

Josie sat on Tom’s sofa, feeling alone. She had no one in the world. Tom, although he was her father and a very nice man, wasn’t someone she’d known a long time. She wanted someone that she’d known – she wanted her mum.

Holding onto a cushion, she began to cry.

With You All The Time

– Gareth Gates

I live beneath the heart
I watch you from the dark
I'm every breath I'm every dream
I've known you forever
I've followed you everywhere
I'm every scar I'm who you are
when you think you're alone
when you cry cos someone's unfair
you can rest assured I'm always there

even when you feel like you don't belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

I'm walking round the room
I'm laughing when you smile
and when you cry I cry too
I made you a promise
that I shall forever be
you're on your own but not alone
when you're down and you're rife
and the world tells you no-one cares
you can rest assured I’m always there

even when you feel like you don’t belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

save a little love for me
you'll see
save a little love for me
you'll see
save a little love for me
you'll see
and you'll see

even when you feel like you don’t belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I’m with you
know that I’m with you
with you all the time

*~*~*

Alex stormed into Diane’s room. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

Diane, rudely awakened from a deep sleep, didn’t reply for a moment. Alex repeated his question. Diane, yawning, sat up. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“’Cause I haven’t spoken to you recently.” She wasn’t going to let him get away with being angry with her. She had done nothing wrong. “I’d have told you if you weren’t being such a baby about the fact that I postponed our date.”

“Postponed our date? You went out with Ric on that same night!” he said, annoyed.

“Because I had nothing else to do,” she replied. “And besides,” she added. “I’m glad I did. Ric is wonderful.”

Alex glared. “Wonderful,” he mocked. “I thought you liked me.”

“Liked you,” she repeated. “I liked you, yes. As a friend… nothing serious. But I love Ric. There’s a big difference.” Alex, sensing that he was losing, stomped out, pushing past Ric.

“So, there’s a difference, is there?” Ric asked.

“You heard?”

“I’m afraid so.” He looked intently at her. “Do you mean it? Or were you just trying to annoy Alex?”

“I meant it,” she replied. “Annoying Alex was an added bonus.”

“Well… thank you,” he said, sitting down. “If you ever want any help annoying Mr Adams, then you just have to ask. I’ll be more than happy to.” He began flicking through her magazine, and, after a few moments, spoke again, with forced casualness. “Oh, by the way. I love you, too.”

*~*~*

“It’s a girl,” Mubbs announced, triumphantly, holding the baby up for Chrissie to see.

“A girl…” Chrissie whispered, exhausted. “It’s a girl, Mum,” she added to Tricia, standing by her side.

Tricia bit back a sarcastic remark. She knew it was a girl. She was standing right there – she had heard Mubbs’ comment. Never mind. She contented herself with merely saying, “Congratulations, Chrissie.”

Mubbs handed the baby to Chrissie, who stared in amazement. “She’s huge…”

“Six pounds, two ounces,” Mubbs replied. “Well done.” He paused. “Should I, ah, get Owen in? Or Ed?”

“Mum can get Owen,” Chrissie said. She wanted to be alone with the baby. “Mubbs?” she called, as her mother left, and Mubbs prepared to go. “Is she… I mean, does she have…?” She couldn’t force herself to ask if the baby had Down’s.

“She doesn’t,” Mubbs replied. “She’s perfectly healthy, Chrissie.”

Chrissie nodded, her eyes full of joyful tears. She couldn’t believe that it was all over – the horror of her pregnancy was finally over. And now she could settle down for the rest of her life with her daughter.

“Oh, does she have a name?” Mubbs queried, interestedly.

“Amanda,” Chrissie replied, softly. “Amanda Davis.” She tore her eyes away from baby Amanda. “Isn't my little girl gorgeous?”

“A bit scrunched-up looking, if you ask me,” Mubbs replied, cheekily. He left before Chrissie could reply.

“Hi, Manda,” Chrissie whispered. “Hi there. I’m your mummy, Manda. That nasty man was Uncle Mubbs. We don’t like him. And your Nana Tricia is out there with your daddy.” She smiled. “You look so much like your daddy, little girl. He’s going to be so proud and so happy to meet you. And he’s going to want to take you and me home with him as soon as he can. The moment he sees you, he’ll know. He’ll know, just like I knew.”

*~*~*

“Dad?” Jess asked, catching hold of Ric. “Where’s Diane? I couldn’t find her earlier.”

“She fainted,” Ric replied. “She’s up in maternity.”

“Is she okay?” Jess queried, anxiously. “What about the baby?”

“The baby’s fine, and she’s fine – or so she keeps telling me.” Ric smiled. “Don’t worry about her. She’s certainly not worried about herself. I think she just was annoyed because she made a fool of herself in front of Alex Adams – who, by the way, she had a blazing row with earlier.”

Jess laughed. “Who hasn’t had a row with Alex Adams?”

“I certainly have,” Ric replied. He allowed himself a little laugh. “You can see her if you want. She’s in the little side-room.”

“Thanks!” Jess shouted back, as she dashed off. Ric smiled after her.

*~*~*

Owen stepped carefully into the room. It had taken him nearly an hour to work up the courage to enter, and he saw that Chrissie was fast asleep. The baby was asleep in a little hospital cot.

“Hello,” he said, awkwardly. It was stupid, why should he feel apprehensive about seeing a baby? He was an obstetrician; he worked with babies every day. He knew why, though. It was because he didn’t want to see anything that might resemble Ed Keating. But he didn’t want to see anything that resembled himself, either. He had hoped that this day would never come, because he knew that today, he would have to make a decision.

The baby flailed an arm around, and Owen approached it, tentatively. “Hello.” He looked at the nametag on the cot. Baby Girl Amanda Davis.

“Davis, huh?” Owen gently picked the baby up. “So you’ve picked me as your daddy, have you?” He looked at her for a moment. “Amanda Davis. It suits you. Mandy Davis.”

“You’ll let her keep her name, then?” Chrissie asked, sleepily.

“Why not? She’s done nothing wrong.” Owen handed Amanda over to Chrissie.

“Meaning that I have?”

“Meaning that you have,” Owen agreed. “I don’t know if Amanda is my daughter or not, Chrissie.”

“She’s your daughter,” Chrissie stated. “Look at her, Owen. That’s your face – your eyes, your nose, and your mouth. She’s the spitting image of you, Owen. Do you see anything that resembles Ed?”

“No,” Owen said, softly. “But… Chrissie. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change the fact that you cheated on me. You lied to me.”

“Please, Owen.” Chrissie looked down at baby Amanda. “Don’t do this to me – to your beautiful daughter. I need you. Manda needs you.”

“Don’t blackmail me, Chrissie.” Owen followed Chrissie’s gaze, looking at Amanda. “I won’t desert Amanda. But you – you hurt me so much, Chrissie.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Chrissie replied. “It was a mistake, Owen. I don’t love Ed – I love you! I just… how could I ever love Ed? I’ve loved you once, and that’s enough to make me never love another man again. No one would ever measure up to you. Just… give me one more chance. Please? Take it slowly. I can stay with Mum, I don’t mind, I’ll do anything, just – anything, Owen, please!”

Owen thought for a long time. Eventually, he nodded. “Fine. Just – very slowly, yeah?”

“Thank you,” Chrissie replied, softly. Owen sat down on the bed, looking at his wife holding his daughter – his daughter. He was a father again. There was silence for a few minutes. Eventually, Chrissie spoke. “You know, I want Manda to have a middle name. I wanted you to choose.”

Owen looked up, seemingly touched. “Thanks, Chrissie.”

“So… go on. Give her a middle name,” Chrissie prompted. “Amanda…?”

“I, ah, I have thought of a few names, actually. Ages ago, when you first told me you were pregnant,” Owen confessed. “I always had this image in my mind, of you and me and a baby. Little Amanda, huh?” He paused. “You know what? I think Niamh.”

“Amanda Niamh Davis,” Chrissie tried. “It’s perfect.” She met Owen’s eyes. “Thank you.”

*~*~*

“Diane?” Jess asked, creeping into Diane’s room, nervously. Diane almost laughed at the look on Jess’ face.

“I’m fine,” she said, automatically.

“I didn’t ask.”

“Sorry.” As Jess sat in the chair, Diane smiled. “But you’re about to, aren’t you? It’s the first question that springs to mind.”

“It’s not,” Jess disagreed. After a moment, she spoke. “So, how are—?” She broke off. “Maybe you’re right.”

They both laughed.

After a moment’s pause, Diane spoke. “Mubbs told me that Chrissie had a little girl today.”

“She’s had it? Oh, wow! I wonder what she called her?” Jess wondered.

Diane placed her finger over the call button. “I’ll ask Mubbs.”

“Don’t!” Jess cautioned her. “That’s for…”

“Emergencies only. Yeah.”

“Guess what I heard?” Jess said, suddenly.

“What?”

“You know Alex Adams?” Diane opened her mouth to reply. “Dad told me you’d had a row, yeah. I thought it might make you feel better to hear some malicious gossip about him.”

“I’m all ears. Go on.”

“Apparently, last week, he was operating, and his hand twitched,” Jess began. Diane began to speak, but Jess cut her off. “That’s not all. He was doing a heart valve replacement. The patient died.”

“Oh my…” Diane drew in a sharp breath.

Jess, oblivious to Diane’s extra knowledge, continued. “And, the patient was one of Mr Campbell-Gore’s exes.”

“Oh…”

“I know, it’s terrible, but…” Jess paused. “I can’t say that. It sounds totally heartless.”

“Who told you?” Diane queried.

“Lisa,” Jess replied. “Chrissie told her, and Ed Keating told Chrissie – he was in theatre when it happened.”

I’d never put one of my patients in danger. That’s what he had said. He had told her that he could manage – that he would never lose a patient. This was just gossip, but still… Alex had lost a patient. Due to a tremor. His Parkinson’s had killed someone. And if she was the only one who knew about it, then surely she had to do something about it? She had to.

“Jess,” she began. “I need to tell you something.”

“Sure.”

“It’s – it’s important,” Diane faltered. “I mean, it’s really important. It’s about Alex.” Jess nodded for her to continue. “I… know why it happened. I promised him I wouldn’t say anything, but I never thought that he’d let it get this far. It’s my duty to tell someone now.”

“What is it?” Jess queried, eagerly.

“He – he’s got Parkinson’s,” Diane said, softly. “I – I don’t know what to do. Should I – I need to tell someone, don’t I?”

Jess nodded. “Yeah.” She paused. “He’s got Parkinson’s? But, he’s only, what – he’s young, Diane. He can’t have Parkinson’s! Old people get it.”

“No… not young onset Parkinson’s,” replied Diane. “He’ll never forgive me for telling you. I know he won’t.”

Jess stood up. “Don’t worry about it, yeah? I’ll sort it.” She moved for the door.

“What are you going to do?” Diane asked, panicked. But Jess only smiled.

*~*~*

Tom turned the key in the lock, and led Anita into the hallway.

“It looks different when I’m sober,” she commented. She caught sight of Tom’s face. “Sorry – I didn’t mean to remind you.”

“Don’t worry. I’m getting used to it,” he replied. He pushed open the door to the living room, and called out. “Josie? Jo? I’m home!”

Josie came down the stairs. “Hi.” Her eyes were red from crying, but she had tried to smarten up slightly. She’d taken a shower and washed her hair, anyway. She paused for a moment when she saw Anita. “I, ah, I’m sure I know you.”

“Anita Forbes,” Anita replied. “I met you last week. In the hospital. I’m your dad’s girlfriend.” She said it so casually that Tom almost didn’t notice. When he did, he looked at her. She looked normal, with just a flicker of a smile masking her lips.

“Anita, yeah. I remember.” Josie’s mouth set as she remembered what had happened afterwards. “The kettle’s on, if you want some coffee.”

“Sure,” Anita agreed.

“You want some?” Josie queried of Tom. She avoided calling him ‘Dad’ or ‘Tom’, or even ‘Mr Campbell-Gore’ as she had done on that first day.

“Why not?” Tom replied. “Have we got any milk?”

“No… I’m afraid I used the last earlier.” Josie shrugged apologetically.

“I’ll go and get some,” Tom offered. He picked up his keys. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. You girls get to know one another.”

Anita made a face at the door, as he left. “He planned that, didn’t he?”

“Couldn’t have been more obvious if he’d tried,” Josie replied, a weak laugh escaping. She opened the door to the kitchen.

“I say we lock him out,” Anita suggested, putting the chain on the door. “There! He’ll not be getting in unless we let him.”

Josie laughed. “Do you want milk?”

“Nah… I hate milky coffee.” Anita did put three spoonfuls of sugar in the cup of black coffee that Josie handed her, though. “What about you?”

“Same here,” Josie agreed. “No milk, no sugar. Easy.” She paused. “And I think that the joke’s on him now. We don’t need milk.”

“On whom?” Anita queried, interested to see how Josie would answer the question.

“My father,” she replied, as though it were obvious.

“What do you call him?”

“I… don’t. Not really, anyway.” Josie paused. “I called him Mr Campbell-Gore at first. Then he told me to stop it, and to call him Dad. So I’ve just avoided using a name.”

“What, don’t you want to call him Dad?” Anita questioned.

“You’re a psychiatrist, aren’t you?” Josie countered. “I want to call him Dad, yeah. It’s just – Mum didn’t want me to know him. Isn’t it wrong?”

“No,” Anita replied. “It’s not wrong at all, Josie. Your Mum wouldn’t have wanted you to be left alone. And she wouldn’t want you to hold off feeling something for your father.”

And, when Tom arrived back, slightly perturbed at having to have Anita let him into his own house, Josie greeted him with, “Hi, Dad.”

*~*~*

“You’re free to go,” Mubbs announced, opening the door to Diane’s room.

“Thank goodness!” Diane replied, dramatically. Ric took her arm, but she pulled away. “If you’re doing that to help me walk, then stop it. If you’re doing it to be romantic, then it’s okay.”

“Well, you know me,” Ric said, smiling. “I’m very romantic.”

“Fresh air!” Diane exclaimed, as they left the building.

“You’re acting as though you’ve been in there for years,” Ric told her.

“It feels like it. I hate lying in bed during the day,” she replied. “And I hate being the patient. If I ever have to be in there again, promise me that you will do everything in your power to get me out, okay?”

Ric laughed. “I promise.”

“Thanks. I love you.”

_____________________________________

Well, one more part down… and more exams gone past as well.

There will be some more parts – at least two more. I’ve already got the epilogue planned (yes, I’m weird like that), but I’ve got I think two chapters before that.

Are you still liking it?