Oh damn, I promised a happy part, didn’t I? Righty-o then… one happy part coming up! This is set between In The Bleak Midwinter (Christmas ep) and Never Can Say Goodbye (New Year ep).

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“So then he…”

“Ed?” Diane cut him off mid-sentence. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enjoying his company; she was having a lot more fun than she could have imagined possible at Tom Campbell-Gore’s party, but she was starting to feel a bit concerned about Ric. He had promised that he would be there.

Ed stopped talking obligingly, and waited for her to speak. “What is it?” he queried.

“What time is it?” she asked, leaning back slightly more on the sofa and kicking her shoes off. “God, my feet are killing me!”

Ed glanced at his watch. “Midnight,” he replied. “Why?” he added, looking at her, sitting despondently on the sofa, in an attitude that suggested she would rather have been anywhere but there, with him.

“Oh, just… Ric said he’d be here,” Diane answered casually. She didn’t let herself look at Ed as she spoke; she didn’t want to betray the fact that she was worried about where Ric was, worried that he might have decided to avoid her, worried about the millions of possible reasons that he might have been detained…

“Maybe there was an emergency,” Ed suggested, taking Diane’s glass off her and refilling it. “I wouldn’t worry, you know, there’s a thousand explanations for where he could be.” He thought to himself that no one in their right mind would have willingly chosen to spend an evening at Tom’s fancy new apartment listening to Tom making speeches… Although the free food was good.

“I’m not worried,” she lied, smiling falsely. “I’m just wondering where he could be.” She chipped at the nail polish on her thumb for a moment, distracting herself.

“He’ll be here,” Ed reassured her.

Diane nodded, putting her feet up on the coffee table and taking a sip of her drink. Privately, she doubted it. He wouldn’t want to be there, not with Tom being there, not with… not with her being there. They’d barely talked since that kiss the other night, and she knew that he felt embarrassed, so did she, but she didn’t want it to ruin what they had. You could have had more, she told herself. You could have had more, but it’s probably for the best, so don’t dwell on it. Move on.

“Ed, Diane, can I sit down?” Zubin smiled at them both and sank onto the sofa next to Diane.

“Zube, hi,” Diane greeted him. “Have you seen Ric?” she asked, chipping a bit more of her nail polish away. “Is he working tonight, does he have plans, is…?”

“I’m not his keeper, Diane,” he teased her. “You’re the one who lives with him, you probably know more than I do. Although…” Zubin thought for a moment, as Diane sat up slightly to hear what he had to say. “I think he said he was going home, something about being tired?”

“Oh.” She sank back, deflated. So he was avoiding her.

“See, I told you there’d be a good explanation,” Ed told her, smiling at her.

“Yeah.” She forced a smile. “I… I’m going to the bathroom,” she informed Ed and Zubin. “I’ll be right back.” She wriggled her feet into her shoes and picked up her bag, and made her way through the crowded living room to the door. She didn’t care whether it was the door to the bathroom or the front door; she just wanted to get out of there.

“Diane, leaving already?” Tom accosted her, standing in front of her and blocking her way.

She paused for a moment, not sure what to say. She knew that she’d gone red, and she knew that it was partially the heat, partially embarrassment, and partially anger. She’d never forgiven him. She never would. But that was irrelevant now. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled slightly at Tom. “Yes… I’ve, ah, I’ve got to go visit my parents tomorrow, I’ve got an early start, y’know, I really should go…” She knew that she’d just blurted out several excuses, none of which sounded believable, not to her ears. But she just wanted to get away from him.

He didn’t look convinced, but stood aside to let her pass. “Merry Christmas,” he told her, and she just nodded, making sure that he noticed that she hadn’t returned the sentiment. Still, from the look on his face, he wouldn’t be having a merry Christmas. She doubted whether he’d last the day out without resorting to alcohol. Part of her – a small part – pitied him. At least she had Ric. Tom had no one.

Although, she thought, as she was leaving and saw him approaching a young SHO, a new girl to start at Holby only a few weeks ago, Loren something, she thought that he looked happy enough – and Loren didn’t seem to be objecting to Tom’s advances. Well, he obviously hadn’t wasted any time in getting over Anita. She shut the door slightly harder than was necessary, and fumbled in her bag for her car keys.

“You’re not going to drive, are you?” Diane whirled around as she heard someone come up behind her.

“God!” she gasped, trying to catch her breath. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” she demanded of Ed, as he shrugged sheepishly.

“Well, it’s better than crashing your car because you’re hammered,” he retorted, taking her keys off her.

“I’m perfectly sober, thank you very much.” She sounded haughtily polite, and he backed away. She smiled guiltily. “Well… maybe I’ve had a bit to drink, but I’ll be fine to drive.” It was nice that he was concerned about her though.

Ed shrugged. “Fine. Don’t blame me if the next time I see you, you’re lying on a stretcher in the ED.”

She leant against the wall, and snatched her keys back. “So how do you suggest I get home, then?” she asked. “Teleporting?” she added, sarcastically.

“I could drive you,” he offered. “I’ve only had one glass of champagne.”

She handed him her keys and gave him a push in the direction of her car. “Fine. You drive then.” She opened one door and climbed in, closing her eyes sleepily. Maybe Ed was right; she wasn’t in a fit state to drive. Not that she’d be telling him that. Never admit that you’re wrong, always a good guideline.

“Diane,” he said, quietly but firmly. “Diane, don’t go to sleep, I don’t know where you live; I need you to direct me.”

She opened her eyes and looked around. “Oh… sure.” She began to give him directions, noticing that it was pitch black, that there were mists of fog falling, and that it didn’t look at all like Christmas. The thought of going home to Ric… that made it feel slightly nicer. It made home seem more welcoming.

“So, are you really living with Ric?” Ed queried, as he parked the car outside Diane’s flat.

She looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Zubin, he said you and Ric were living together. Are you?” Ed persisted, curious.

“Yeah, he needed a place to stay, and, well, I couldn’t exactly say no when he turned up on my doorstep, so we’re living together.” She felt a faint thrill of happiness and – was it? – pride rush through her as she spoke. She saw Ed’s doubtful look and knew that he was wondering if they were still just friends, but she didn’t say anything more to him on the subject.

Ed shrugged, seeing her expression. “Oh, right.”

She opened the door and began to get out. “Do you want to come in for coffee or something?”

“I’d love to,” he replied instantly, but paused. “Ah… will Ric mind?” he asked, tentatively.

“So what if he does? It’s my flat.” Diane spoke defiantly, but there was a look in her eyes that suggested she cared a lot more than she was letting on. She did care, of course. She cared about whether he’d mind, about if he was tired and she woke him up, about if he wasn’t feeling well and she didn’t let him sleep… But she also couldn’t let Ed be stranded outside her flat – because she wasn’t going to let him drive her car back.

“I don’t know…” Ed shook his head. “I can just call a taxi home, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Well at least come in and call from there, it’s cold and dark and God knows what could happen to you out here,” she insisted.

The street was pitch black, the streetlights casting a dull glow onto the road, creating an almost eerie light, and Ed didn’t need much encouragement to allow Diane to practically drag him inside. He stood awkwardly while she found her keys.

“Diane, I can wait here, you know, I… I really don’t want to intrude.” He felt awkward going into Diane’s flat in the early hours of the morning, especially if Ric was there. “I don’t want to disturb Ric if he’s asleep or anything.”

Diane sighed. “So just come in quietly then. Look, if you’d rather wait here, then do it, I’m not going to force you to come in…”

“I’ll wait here then,” Ed agreed, sounding relieved.

“Wimp,” Diane teased, unlocking the door and going in. “’Night then,” she added, smiling at him.

“’Night.” He leant against the wall and took his mobile out of his pocket.

Diane shut the door firmly behind her with a click, and flicked the light switch on. She glanced around the room to check that everything was all right, and, after dropping her bag on the sofa, headed into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea before she went to bed.

As she walked across the living room, kicking her shoes off and pulling on a cardigan that was on the arm of the sofa, she saw Ric moving in the kitchen.

“Morning,” she called out to him.

“Back already?” he asked, coming to the door and smiling at her.

She felt herself smiling back automatically; there was just something about him that made her smile, made her feel happy, made… Oh, for God’s sake! Just get a grip on yourself, she told herself. “Yeah, I just… well, it wasn’t that fun, I just wanted to get home, y’know?” She plugged in the kettle and started boiling some water. “Want a drink?”

“No, I’ve just had one.” He sat on the table and watched her. “So was it really not fun?” he asked, as she sat down next to him, waiting for the kettle to boil.

“Well… I suppose it was if I’d been in the mood for a party, but… well, y’know how these things are…” Confident that her answer had been as vague as she could make it, she swung her feet back and forwards a few times.

“You weren’t in the mood for a party?” he queried. “You, Diane Lloyd, not in the mood for getting drunk in the presence of a lot of men?” he added, teasingly.

She hit him playfully. “Oi! You make me sound like… like… something I’m not,” she finished lamely, giggling.

“So… why weren’t you in the mood for it?” he asked her, sounding genuinely concerned. “Is anything wrong? Anything I should know about?” He pulled her into a hug, and she didn’t object. It was nice to be there, like that… She realised he was waiting for an answer.

“Oh… I was, I was a bit worried… about you, about where you were, y’know.” She looked up at him, smiling to try and lighten the situation. “But, y’know, if I’d have known you were sitting here drinking tea, then I wouldn’t have bothered worrying.”

He laughed. “Well, I’m flattered that you did worry about me.”

“You said you’d be there, I just… I thought something might have happened to you.” Like you decided that you couldn’t face me and were avoiding me, she added to herself, but didn’t dare say it out loud.

“Well, I was just talking to Kath, and then… well, I couldn’t face it. It’s been a long day,” Ric told her.

“It has,” she agreed. “So you weren’t avoiding me then?” she blurted out, before she had the chance to think about it. When she heard the words, she cringed. She hadn’t meant to say that. She hadn’t meant to let on that she was thinking about… no, that had been a bad move.

“Avoiding you? Why… why would I be…? Oh…” He trailed off as he realised the reason, and as he saw the expression on her face. “Look, Diane, about that, just… just forget it. It was… it was a spur of the moment thing, we were both emotional…” He knew that he probably wasn’t fooling her with his excuses, but he was embarrassed about what had happened, he wanted to explain it away.

She glanced up at him shrewdly. “You’re lying,” she stated calmly.

“I’m not…” He stopped as he saw her look. “Maybe I am. But what do you want me to say?”

“Something along the lines of it not being a mistake?” she suggested, moving slightly closer to him.

“Diane, if you’re just going to do this and push me away again afterwards, then… just don’t.” He sighed. “I can’t take it, I can’t handle you getting close and then backing away when it gets too much for you…” He stopped, looking at the expression in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said, truly meaning it.

He let his fingers close over hers, looking at her silently for a few moments, noticing every little detail about her – especially her piercing blue eyes, staring intently at him, not tired despite how late it was. “So… maybe it wasn’t a mistake,” he told her finally, letting his words hang in the air.

She waited for a moment, unsure of whether he was going to say anything else, unsure of whether he was telling her the truth, unsure of whether she’d misheard, maybe he’d said something else, maybe she was dreaming, maybe this was all going to backfire on her and humiliate her.

“Diane?” he prompted her after a few seconds.

“What do you want me to say?” she asked quietly. She looked away from him, allowing her hands to fall away from his. “What do you want me to tell you, Ric?”

He allowed her to take her hand away, and he put an arm around her, hoping upon hope that she would give him the answer that he wanted. “Tell me the truth. If you don’t feel the same way, then we’ll just forget it and put this whole conversation down to being drunk. If you do, then… well…” He trailed off, smiling at the mere thought of Diane feeling the same way as he did.

She smiled at the expression that had settled on his face. “Well, I am drunk,” she stated.

His face fell almost noticeably. “Well… alright then.” He began to stand up, to get away from her, if she didn’t want to be with him, then he needed to just be alone for a while.

She caught his hand; she couldn’t let him believe that she thought that… no, she needed to tell him. “Let me finish!” she ordered. “I was going…”

“Diane, if you’re going to reject me, then can we just leave it here?” he said, sighing. He snatched his hand away from her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ric, for God’s sake listen to me!” She grabbed hold of his arm, as he was just about to walk through the door. When he didn’t listen, she walked in front of him and blocked his way. “Listen to me!”

“Listen to what? Listen to you saying that you don’t want to be with me? Diane, I’m not in the mood for that…”

Not giving him any more chance to speak, she leant up and kissed him. When she pulled away from him, she shot him an indignant look. “Are you going to listen to me now?”

He looked slightly shocked, and nodded. “What, ah, what did you want to say?” He hoped desperately that she’d taken on board what he had said, that she wasn’t going to run away, that she was going to stay for once, that she loved him…

“I was going to say that I was drunk but that I knew what I was saying.” She smiled sweetly at him.

“And what are you saying?” he demanded.

In response she leant in and kissed him. Pulling away, she twined her arms around his neck. “Do you need me to spell it out to you?”