She barely let herself be distracted by the knowledge that this man had been one of her best friends. There was only one important person in the world now, and that was Jack. “Jack?” she repeated. “Is Jack alright?”

Zubin led her over to the row of chairs. “Come and sit down, Diane.”

“Zubin, just tell me about Jack, give me a straight answer!” She was snapping and she knew it. She apologised mentally to Zubin. I’m sorry, Zube. I’m sorry that I’m taking my stress about Jack out on you… I’m sorry for not calling for years… I’m sorry that I didn’t reply to any of your letters…

“Jack is… as well as can be expected.” He glanced at her anxious face, and she looked away instantly, not wanting him to see the fear in her eyes. “Try not to worry, Diane, it isn’t anything life threatening.”

“I can’t lose him,” she whispered, making no sign that she had even heard Zubin.

“You’re not going to lose him.” Zubin knew that making guarantees on peoples’ lives was never wise, but at that moment, it was the only thing he could do, the only way that he could reassure her. “He’ll be fine, Diane. He’ll be out of there in no time, it’s nothing serious.”

“Who’s in there with him?” Diane demanded, suddenly. “Which consultant? It’s not Richard Smedley, is it?”

“No, it is not.” Zubin smiled slightly. “His consultant is a Mr Ric Griffin. I believe you used to hold him in quite high esteem,” he added, teasingly, as she visibly relaxed.

“Oh, I did… I do, I mean.” She sat back slightly, feeling more confident about her nephew.

Zubin looked at her curiously. “Jack’s not your son, is he?”

“He’s my nephew. Joanna’s baby.” She looked up at him. “Remember? You spent my entire first day back telling me to go home and look after him,” she added, a smile edging the corners of her mouth.

He nodded, remembering. Remembering also how she had cried, how she had told him that she blamed herself for Joanna’s death, and he had cried too; thinking about Mumtaz, about how he had lost her and felt that he could have saved her, but never had the chance. But that wasn’t the issue here. “I’m sorry,” he said, awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to boss you…”

She shook her head. “No. No, it’s quite alright. You were right, I should have gone home. You always did give good advice,” she told him, her expression darkening as she looked down. “It’s a pity I never took any of it.”

The look on her face warned him not to ask any questions, so he let it be. Instead, he looked at his watch. “I should be in theatre in ten minutes… I think it’s Jess’ break soon though, if you want to go down to AAU.”

She nodded. “Sure,” she replied, standing up. “It was nice to see you again, Zube.”

“And you. What are you doing back in Holby, by the way?” he queried. “We’ve not seen hide nor hair of you in five years and suddenly you turn up in the corridor? Why are you back here?”

“You can’t just be pleased to see me?” she teased. As he continued to look at her, she relented. “Katie’s in some… play, or dance, or something. I don’t know. Anyway, Owen wanted to come and see it, and I was taking Jack to… well, to Jo’s grave.” She bit her lip, thinking of her sister, of her nephew, of the car that had lifted him up in the air and let him fall back to the ground… the crashing noise it had made, the expression of utter fear on his small face… the way he had screamed, and she had screamed, and it had been so loud that she thought the whole world was exploding in horror.

“It’s okay,” he told her, seeing the emotions flicker past her eyes, and seeing her grab onto the chair for support. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not… Zubin, it was my fault. It was my idea to go, I wasn’t holding his hand, I should’ve been taking better care of him…” She knew that she was rambling, but she desperately wanted Zubin to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, she wanted someone to absolve her of blame.

“Diane, no one can watch a child all of the time… I know I wasn’t there, I know I’ve not seen you for years, but no one who saw you with Jack as a baby could ever doubt that you are wonderful with him, and you would never neglect him.” There was something in his tone that made her believe him, and she just nodded, having neither the energy nor the inclination to argue further. “Now go see Jess, have a good gossip, try not to worry, and I’ll send Ric down to see you the moment he’s done with Jack. Okay?”

She nodded numbly, before thinking of something else. “I should… I should call Owen,” she said, quietly.

“Do you want me to do that?” Zubin asked her, sensing that she was on the verge of tears.

“No… no, he’s my husband, I’ll do it.” She nodded, more to herself than anyone else. “I’ll go and find Jess… it was great seeing you, Zube.”

“It was great seeing you too, Diane. Try not to leave it four years next time, yeah?” he added, smiling.

She laughed slightly. “I’m sorry… I just, Jack takes up a lot of my time now… and Owen, and it’s all I can do to keep up with tidying the house and stuff, I never was inclined that way… I just don’t have time for calling people and…” She shook her head, unsure of how to excuse herself.

“You don’t need any more excuses,” he told her, laughing. “I’ve been married, I’ve had a child, I know that the first few years can be hectic.”

“Hectic doesn’t describe it.” She laughed. “Can you keep me informed about Jack, please?”

“I will do. Now go!” He handed her bag to her, and smiled. “Jess’ll be delighted to see you.”

Diane nodded, and started to walk away, inwardly marvelling at how little Zubin had changed. And how amazing it was that he had simply accepted that she had been there. And how he had taken her mind off Jack. Jack… her little boy, she couldn’t lose him. Oh, she couldn’t lose him. If she lost him… And before she realised it, she was crying; her tears falling as she tried to catch her breath and calm down.

As she neared AAU, she felt someone touch her shoulder, and she turned around, trying to wipe all traces of tears away from her face. “Jess…”

“Diane!” Jess was obviously trying – but failing – to contain her shock and curiosity at her friend’s sudden appearance, but all she said was, “Come here.” She led Diane into an empty room and hugged her, letting her cry. When she had quietened down, Jess spoke again. “What’s up? It’s not Owen, is it?”

“No… it’s Jack.” Diane explained briefly what had happened, and Jess was struck with how much Diane had changed. She seemed worlds away from the woman who had once told her that she never thought that she could worry about a child.

She had barely finished explaining when the door opened, and Ric came in. He had known Diane was there; Zubin had told him, presumably believing that it was less risky to warn him beforehand about the presence of his former best friend and girlfriend. He just looked at Diane for a few moments, taking in every detail of her – how she had barely changed, how she looked the same as the woman he had loved ten years ago, the woman he had held in his arms when her sister died… the woman he had watched marry Owen.

It was unfortunate that at the moment she saw him, one hand flew to her mouth, trying to stop herself from bursting with emotion. The hand with her wedding ring on. “Ric…” she whispered, through her fingers.

And all he could see was her, in a white dress, marrying Owen… her, rejecting him, pulling away, turning him down, leaving him… and he could have cried. And he couldn’t cry, not in front of Diane and Jess. So he spoke instead. And he knew the moment that the words had left his mouth, he knew that he was too harsh, that he sounded angry at her. But he couldn’t help himself.

“Well, well. Mrs Davis.”