section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest

fire.

The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with

scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask.

A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but

from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a

positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a

fully clad

diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went

for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The

fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible,

called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water

was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and

emptied.

You guessed it.

One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific,

the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300

feet in the air.

Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife

was in the kitchen.

The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it

accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle

bars,

was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the

motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found

her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle

lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the

phone and summoned the ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down

the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the

paramedics to her husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the

hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper

towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.

The man was treated and released to come home.

Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and

the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to

the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.

After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs

into the toilet bowl while seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and

her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her

husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was

suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very

same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at

the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the

stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going

down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the

paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself.

She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one

of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out.

He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

Taken from a Florida Newspaper.

Having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse.....

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the ExxonValdez

oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of

themost expensively saved animals were released back into the wild

amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in

full view, a killer whale ate them both.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room

to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his

reactions.

After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe

leaving her mentally retarded.

3. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,

shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist

towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from

the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by

the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he

had been happily listening to his Walkman.

4. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty

of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the

pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and

stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And finally.......

5. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on

a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on

it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Your day's not so bad, is it!