"How women drive away men"
William July II, author of "Brothers, Lust and Love", spoke with 100 brothers, married and unmarried, and asked them not to be mean-spirited but to be blunt and candid in their responses to "What are some of the things women do that drive them away."
None of the men were relationship experts, sociologist or psychologist, but ordinary men. The purpose was to improve communication , avoid misunderstanding and expose any "taboo" issues that men wished women knew about. From the discussion, these ten issues kept rising to the top:
1. ACTING SWEET TO GET A MAN, THEN CHANGING.
"When dating, she batted her eyes, spoke softly and always looked sexy. The batting eyes and shy smiles have been replaced with frowns, pursed lips and shrill tones. Women act so sweet during dating and change completely when they know they've got you."
2. NOT GIVING ENOUGH SPACE.
"Its a strain on the relationship when women think that a man is being selfish, silly, or making up an excuse to go out and cheat just because he wants some space. The confident woman knows that each person needs his/her own space to maintain a healthy relationship."
3. WANTING TOO MANY THINGS.
"Of course, wanting a good hardworking man who respects women isn't asking too much. But, for some women having a good man just isn't enough. They want a Lexus, Range Rover, jewelry, designer clothing, a three-story home in the suburbs, and a string of credit cards. It's fine to have goals and want some luxuries. But counting the blessings you already have never hurts."
4. NOT SAYING WHAT SHE MEANS.
"Unfortunately, some women do not express themselves honestly and openly. Men aren't good mind readers. In fact, they often have difficulty just figuring out what women mean with the words spoken."
5. THE THREE B'S OF SEX.
It would be nice if sex didn't play such a major role in relationships, but for some people it can be a big part of a relationship:
"Bad Sex: lack of enthusiasm, lack of rhythm, no creativity and poor technique.
Boring sex: doing it in the same place, at the same time and in the same old position.
Boudoir battle: using sex as a weapon doesn't do anything but make a man angry."
6. CONSISTENTLY TALKING ABOUT OTHER MEN
"A woman would be wise to realize that the ego of a man can be fragile. Men don't like to hear women constantly talking about other men. Each man wants to feel special and important to the woman in his life just as women do."
7. BEING A DRAMA QUEEN
"Drama queens are always whining, pestering, or nagging about something. With them, nothing can ever be right."
8. BEING HARD AND COLD
"Believe it or not, men have feelings too. Hard and cold behavior is enough to drive anyone or anything away; not just a man!!!"
9. CHEATING
"They call us dogs, but women are out there fooling around just as much." Some women will maintain that when a woman is cheating it's always the fault of a man. Women are human beings and are therefore just as subject to dishonesty and deceit as any man."
10. ENGAGING IN A POWER STRUGGLE.
Some women make sure they look smarter than a man by intentionally upstaging him in public, disagreeing for the sake of disagreement, unnecessarily being rude, being condescending or cutting down what a man says when he states his personal thoughts and opinions. Men aren't intimidated by women who make more money, drive more expensive cars, or have more education than they did. The issue is with women who want to flaunt in order to be the superior, not equal, person in the relationship.
Remember, this isn't a list of complaints by men. It's intended to give women insight into what they are thinking. Use these ten issues as a starting point with your husband, the man in your life or a male friend.