have you ever been in a situation where you're doing something wrong (or about to), you know that it's wrong to do it because you know you've been simply overeacting, yet there is nothing on this planet that can stop you from doing it? ok, well maybe there's some things that can stop you but it's gonna take some work.
see, my problem is this...as i look back through any past relationships i've ever had there's one common thing with each of them...aside from the fact that i'm not with any of them anymore. it's that with each and every one of them there was this period that i like to call "the 2 weeks before i make a run for the border". i should have been an athlete. it never mattered how great that girl was. it didn't matter how beautiful/smart/nice/funny she might have been. all that mattered was that when the second week came, the smallest thing would set me to run. don't get me wrong, there was plenty of times i stuck around, but the feeling was still there. i'd just get over it. this time i'm doing it again. i think the biggest problem is that i'm aware that it's happening and i really don't want to run but i've got my running shoes laced up. pretty much anyone that knows about this is telling me to relax but it's almost like i feel that i should run before getting hurt again. i mean, she's a great girl. there's no doubt about that. we've only been hanging out...not even dating really, yet that gut feeling just won't go away. i don't even know for sure what set it off this time. the terrible weekend that just went by could probably be picked as one reason...it could be the lack of sleep i've been getting...maybe it's all the cigarettes i've been smoking lately. i just wish this feeling would go away because i've rather feel the hurt that may or may not happen than feel what i feel right now and act on it only to find out later that i was just being a fucking idiot.
zwixxx