the title of this is entirely different than what my idea of runnin has become but it strikes a chord with me. i knew full well that with all the good that was starting to come that some bad had to run by me. with each bad i somehow need to stand up and face it but i need a fucking break. i've been sorta datin this great girl...she's not like most i've dated...cliche right? her biggest flaws are that she has a moron x that i dunno how to shake and she parties way too much. after last night i'm thinkin of throwin it away. typical me...i find something and i wanna run. i'm trying not to despite this stupid shit but the paranoid side of me that screams "hurt before getting hurt!" keeps coming up.
so last night after hours of waiting, her and her best friend stopped by just as we were done waiting and ready to leave...so we chill here and go to the bar...correction, my friends left me to go on my own...she went to the bar minutes before i left cuz i found out later that she didn't wanna involve me in whatever...*cough*. so two weekends have been screwed hoping to hang out with her while all she wants to do is get drunk and go to an after hours bar...i'm tired of this already. when we hang out things are cool. aside from that it sucks. part of it is my lack of patience for waiting but still...this is getting stupid. i get to a bar and get blown off. i wanna run now but i lost my running shoes...and just don't have the drive to find them.
on another note, my father is a dick. i've had it...for 6 years he's gone on and on about trashing my mother and trying to find proof that she cheated. it never happened cuz my sister and i woulda known. shortly after mom left she got a place in f'ton with my sister...i'm sure lori woulda known what was up considering the guy mom was "cheating" with lived in moncton. dad just won't give it up and keeps trying to cause shit. i'm at the point that i almost no longer wanna talk to him cuz i can't deal with it anymore. he's now remarried and still won't give it up.