So here it is, Sunday morning. The day our whole family is getting ready to go to church. We did go to church but with one less family member.

We were missing Mommy,

Daddy told me that Mommy would be at the church. How could that be? Grandma just told me that Mommy was up in Heaven. How could she be in two places? I don't understand.

Mattie and I were dressed in all black. Grandma said we looked precious. I didn't know why we had to wear black. I hate black. It's scary to me. Daddy and Grandpa both had black suits on too. Daddy never wore black. He didn't like that color either. I guess we all had to make sacrifice that day. When Aunt Joanie and Grandma were dressed, we got into Aunt Joanie's car and she and Grandma took us to the Church. When we got there, Daddy and Grandpa weren't there.

"Where's Daddy?" Matt asked, his voice hoarse from crying all weekend. "He'll be right back baby." Aunt Joanie said, trying her best to reassure him. I don't think it worked. Matt stood on the steps going up to the church for what seemed like hours, waiting until several large black cars pulled up in front of the church.

People we did not know got out of the cars and walked up the stairs with their heads bowed. Matt watched hurtfully as each man passed. Breathing heavily he turned around and looked with tear filled eyes at Grandma. His bottom lip quivered a little and he wiped tears from his eyes.

Mattie didn't say anything, but we all knew what he was thinking. Grandma rushed to him pulling him in for a hug and holding him until he tears stopped. I guess she has that power too.

We walked into the church. Lots of people were there. Some people we knew some people we have never even met. But they all looked at me with those pain filled eyes. I finally began to realize why Aunt Joanie took us to our usual seats in the Church. I sat next to Mattie who stared straight ahead into the darkness.

I hate going to church early; there's nothing to do. At least when it starts, you have something to listen to. I don't think it matters much today. People were crying and holding hands. I started to play with my fingers, cracking them, until Grandma told me to stop and behave.

Daddy and Grandpa finally got there. They sat down with us. Mattie finally stopped crying and gave Daddy a big hug. We sat in silence for a long time, until the lights in the church came on.

Then I saw it, a large black box. I looked at it for several minutes. What is this thing? The preacher came out from the back room. He started to talk and all I could do was listen. I didn't really understand what he was saying, I heard Mommy's name come up a few times though.

Was this a big surprise? Was Mommy going to come out and tell us that she is ok? I shouldn't get my hopes up. I have to remember Mommy is up in Heaven with God now.

When the preacher finally stopped talking Daddy stood up and took our hands. Mattie was a little reluctant to move, but Daddy convinced him to stand up and walk; I followed behind

Just like always, I was last. Last to be born, last one to walk, Last one to speak, and the last one to realize what happened to Mommy. I wish I wasn't last anymore.

We walked up to the large black box. Daddy let go of my hand. He took Matt closer to the box, holding him up so he can see inside. Mattie froze in my Dad's hands. He didn't move. He didn't cry. He didn't breath. He just looked into the box awaiting signs of life. Unfortunately there were none. I don't think Mattie even wanted to look anymore. Daddy made him, telling him something in his ear.

Mattie shook his head and bent down to kiss whatever was in the box. Daddy let Mattie go. I never saw Mattie run that fast. He ran right to Grandma, burying his little face into her dress.

It was my turn. Finally I was able to see what the big deal was, but was I ready? I guess I had to be no matter what, because when Daddy held his hand out, my legs went without me even knowing it.

Daddy picked me up and held me over the coffin. I closed my eyes at first, Until Daddy told me it was ok to look. I opened my eyes. There was Mommy. My Mommy. The one that took care of me, the one that held me tight, the only person I thought would never leave me. I watched Mommy for a little while. I thought she was sleeping. Her eyes were closed. She must have known she was in church, she had on a new dress. I put my hand out and placed it on Mommy's hand, she was very cold.

Mommy was never cold. This didn't really look like Mommy either. The person in the coffin was pale and cold; two things my Mommy wasn't. Daddy whispered in my ear to give Mommy a kiss and tell her I love her.

I did. I always do what Daddy tells me. I'm a good little boy. I didn't want to make Daddy upset. I got down out of his arms and ran over to Mattie. His eyes were red. He was shaking. For the first time, I realized why he was crying. I hugged Mattie as hard as I could, making sure he couldn't move. Aunt Joanie went up to see Mommy. She looked just as upset as we were.

We sat back down. I sat next to Mattie, holding his trembling hand, trying to comfort him. I don't think it worked. When church was over, some men that I never saw before took the coffin Mommy was in. Mattie squeezed my hand hard.

We left the church and went for a long, long ride. Mattie fell asleep; he was still holding my hand, which was fine by me. At least he had stopped shaking. We drove out into the country. I could tell because I saw horses in pastures. Mommy loved horses; she had always wanted one.

Aunt Joanie stopped the car in front of a cemetery. No one was there. It was quiet. That's when I saw it, Mommy's coffin, sitting up on the top of the hill. I bet from the top of that hill you can see the whole lake That's a good thing, Mommy always liked the lake.

Daddy handed Mattie and I roses and told us to follow him. We did, like the good little boys we are. Aunt Joanie told us that a lot over that weekend. We stopped in front of the coffin. Daddy placed his rose on the lid and kissed it one last time. Aunt Joanie went behind us guiding us to the coffin and telling us again to kiss the coffin. Funny, the coffin felt as cold as Mommy did.

That's when the preacher came back. He said a few prayers along with Mommy's favorite prayer. He told God to look after his newest Angel. I always knew she was. She was my Angel and she was Mattie's Angel.

They buried Mommy in the ground that day.


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