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When I was 9, my father passed away. Septemeber 25, 1986. One day before my mother birthday. I was devestated to say the least...
We lived in a trailer park, nice and cozy, safe or so I thought. I introduced my mother to a gentleman whom I thought was nice, just so she would have a friend. I never expected him to intrude into our lives, and take control.
Not to long after I introduced them, he started coming to dinner, then sleeping over then controlling my life. I could have no friends, no dates, no life. He started touching me soon after also.
Meaning when he rubbed my back, his hand would slip into my bra, and touch my breast. He would have me kiss him, and slip me the tongue. Talk about sex, and what men and women would do, and what the man should not do to me.
If I were to lie on my stomach on the floor, and do my homework, his hand would slide between my legs... or if I would sit next to him on a drive in the car, his hand would also slip between my legs. The more I felt uncomfortable, the more he laughed and continued... I was scared to say no... How could I, he was so much bigger than me.
On trips he would put his hand down the front of my shirt, and touch my breasts and my nipples. At one time when my mother was in the hospital, I was lying on the floor doing homework, and came and sat down on me, and rubbed himself on me... damn him.
At one point, I was in the shower, home alone, and ran to get the phone with a towel wrapped around me, and there he was, and told me he was surprised "at what I had." He would tell me to come to his place or he would bring movies that I would like to watch, but he could not bring them when my mom was home.
He was a dirty old man... Dirty I tell you... the comments he made, the gestures, the touching, everything stripped me bare. Took away my heart, my soul, my life. All I can ask is why!?!?!?!?
The thing of it is, I was never "raped" by him, but it was just like I was, him constantly touching me, looking at me, telling me things, like he was going to kiss every inch of my body before I graduate, and not to let a man enter me to hard, or that I had nice breasts.
I tried telling my mom, she got so upset, she hated me for saying it, and when I was in counseling, I told her to, and then took it back cuz my mom was so upset with me. He died 2 years ago, with his pride, and I have nothing left.
The abuse did not stop there, there is also the emotional abuse he put me through. This is on the next page... (go to top of page for link to next) |
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