Dials

techgrrl@pobox.com

The key rattled in the lock, and Jim was glad that Blair had finally come home. The grad student had hardly said three words at the station today--just gave his own statement for this afternoon's bust, leaving at the earliest opportunity. Most uncharacteristic. The bust hadn't gone at all smoothly, but it had ended well. The perps were under arrest, and nobody had to make a trip to the hospital.

The door to the loft opened, and Blair stalked inside. His eyes were dark and glinting with anger. And they were focused exclusively on Jim.

"Where the hell were you!" The younger man seethed as he advanced toward the sofa where Jim sat. His left cheekbone, which had looked red, irritated, and scraped after the afternoon's misadventure, was just starting to turn purple.

Jim closed the magazine he'd been reading and set it aside. He'd never seen Blair this agitated before. He'd seen him upset, surely, but never this *angry*. "I got there as soon as I knew--"

"Rafe and I were SCREAMING for help, and Simon was yelling his head off for backup. You were only five blocks away, and *how* long did it take you to get there?" Blair stood directly in front of the seated detective, using the height difference to his own advantage for once.

Jim's eyes were wide with hurt and shock. "I had my hearing dialed down, Chief. I didn't know."

"'Dialed down,' my ass! There are no dials, Jim. You just weren't paying attention!" Blair's hands gestured wildly as he ranted.

Again, Jim winced like a scolded child. "Chief, *you* told me about the dials."

"This may come as a surprise, but there are not actually analog knobs in your head, Jim."

"But--"

"THERE WERE NEVER ANY DIALS! They were a construct, a representation, a symbol to help you get control when you were new to controlling your senses."

Jim wasn't going to take any more of this. He surged upward to stand in front of his roommate. "How else do you expect me to control them!?"

Blair was not backing off. "Think all the times we've talked about sentinel abilities, all the different metaphors we've used for control. The breathing, the memory exercises, the filtering techniques." He shook his head in disgust at Jim's confused look. "For crying out loud, at least look at the facts--the genetics, the environmental catalysts! You insist on sticking to this 'dial' image. Your senses don't turn off, Jim! They are never 'dialed down'. You just choose to pay attention to them, or not."

Jim leaned down so that his face was inches away from Blair's. "I said I didn't hear you! I couldn't have known!"

"Bullshit!" Blair pulled his hair back in frustration, and then let it fall free again. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, then repeated the process. He appeared to have calmed down, and continued in a measured tone. "Fine. Have it your way. I'll show you what I mean. Dial up your hearing, Jim."

"You're not listening to me, Sa--?" Jim had clearly been ready for a fight, and was not ready for his guide to cave in. "Turn it up?"

"All the way." Then he lowered his voice to less than a whisper--air barely flowing over his teeth and lips. "can you hear me?"

Jim nodded.

Again, even quieter. "close your eyes."

Jim closed them, listening for whatever miniscule sound Sandburg might make. He was relaxed but wary. He wouldn't miss anything this time.

Blair leaned toward Jim, cupped his hands near the taller man's ear... and clapped them together as loudly as he could.

"AAAH!" Jim doubled over in reaction, attempting to shield his ears from the offending thunderbolt. "Sandburg... You goddamn-- son of a-- fucking-- piece of shit!" The mismatched curse was ground out through clenched teeth as he waited for the overwhelming sensation to subside.

Once Jim had recovered enough to stand upright, he rushed forward and wrapped his hands tightly around Blair's biceps. The anthropologist looked altogether too calm. Enraged further, Jim shook him hard. And shook him again.

Blair had not been expecting such a violent reaction, and accidentally bit his lower lip. Blood flowed, and the smaller man wrenched himself free. He dabbed at the lip with the back of one hand, stepping warily back from Jim, who was still out of control.

"It was a mistake--" he began, but Jim interrupted.

"You bet it was a mistake, Chief!" Jim advanced again.

"No, it was a mistake to let you use the dials as a crutch for so long!" Unexpectedly, Blair clapped again, just as loud.

Jim didn't flinch.

"Didn't bother you that time, did it?"

"No, but I had my hearing dialed back, you stupid--"

"You had your hearing *what*?"

Jim took a step forward. Blair took a step back.

"What changed? Did the sound change?" He clapped again.

"No," Jim growled.

"Are your senses gone?"

"No." Jim reached forward again, but stopped himself before actually making contact.

Blair jumped nervously at the aborted threat. "Your perception of the sound changed Jim. Just your perception. You."

There was a long silence, while Jim mulled that over. "But I have to use the dials, Chief. It works for me," he said quietly.

"I know it works. I know. But that's not where it ends." Blair's tone softened. "Counting on your fingers works, too, man. But at some point you have to move beyond that, or you'll never get out of first grade."

They were quiet again for another several moments.

"I, um." Jim slowly reached out and touched Blair's forearm. "I'm sorry. You're right. I should have heard you and Rafe."

Blair tried to look calm, but he knew that Jim could feel the small tremors in his body--left over from the argument, and from earlier this afternoon. But Jim's hand wasn't steady, either.

He looked at the carpet. "Naw, man. I was out of line, coming in here yelling like that. You're only as good as I make you. We were getting complacent." Blair looked up, a little of his characteristic enthusiasm returning. "Don't you see, Jim? You've only just begun to make use of your senses. Tip of the iceberg, man. The dials are just holding you back, now."

Jim frowned in concern at that, and he broke the contact and stepped out of Sandburg's personal space. Then his expression relaxed. "We'll work on it together, all right, Chief?"

"Yeah." For the first time that day, Blair smiled. "Yeah, we will."

I hope you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you liked. Please tell me what could have been better.
techgrrl@pobox.com