Disclaimer: I don't need one. Parody and satire are, I am informed, protected through the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution. But just in case you were wondering, the characters of Blair, Jim, and Simon are property of Paramount Studios and Pet Fly Productions. It's always best to stay on the good side of producers, especially when the show is no longer in production.
There is this nasty rumor that I don't like smarm. I don't know what would make you think that. All I said was, "Ugh, smarm!" and "Smarm blows!" Really. Some of you are so sensitive.
But just to show that I am a flexible writer who can encompass many genres, I would like you to enjoy this nice smarmy piece. It is the alternate ending to another story I'm (still) working on. Strangely enough, it won't spoil the story at all.
Jim Ellison gazed down at the small, pallid, frightened, trembling young man, who sat curled in a ball at his feet. "Blair, Blair!" he rumbled. "It's okay, buddy. She can't hurt you anymore."
The sad figure looked up at Jim in an attempt to draw strength from the vision of His Sentinel, but it wasn't enough: Blair's jaw quivered and it was all he could do to keep gasping sobs at bay.
Oh, My Guide, thought Ellison guiltily. I have failed him once again. Damn these curséd senses, that I couldn't arrive in time to prevent my younger partner from being taken.
"It's all right, pal. I've come to take you to the hospital."
"Not the hospital! Promise me!!" begged the fallen Shaman.
"But you're bleeding profusely. Why wouldn't you want to go to the hospital?" said Jim, with far too much logic for this story.
"O-oh J-jim, you d-don't understand," said Blair, inexplicably stuttering. "She was d-driving so f-f-fast, and then--"
"Then what?"
"Then b-b-b--b--" Blair looked away, too ashamed to continue.
Jim mistook this for 'car sounds' of the car going too fast, but then he realized that Blair had looked away because he was too ashamed to continue. Jim knelt in front of his roommate and partner. He brushed away the long, soft, silken, corkscrew curls and looked deeply into Blair's eyes.
Blue eyes met blue.
It was too much for the shorter man, and one miserable, fat tear slid down his cheek.
"Just let it all out," said Jim uncharacteristically.
And Blair did. He leaned forward gratefully into the taller man's waiting embrace. He felt safe once again, and nestled his head into the comfortable nook under Jim's chin.
Jim gently rocked as his partner wept. "Here, Chief," he soothed. "Twist my shirt in your hand if you need to. It's okay."
Needless to say, Simon and the nearby EMT crews were all confused as hell by the entire display.