Dillon: If you're leaving, Mom, I’m coming with you.

Tracy: Sweetheart, I have a deal that's coming together in Europe, and it promises to be very hectic and uninteresting.

Dillon: No problem. I'll catch up on some movies while you work. What -- Tracy: I love having you with me, but it's -- it's better if you stay here.

Dillon: But you'll be alone.

Tracy: So would you, as usual. That's not what I want for you.

Dillon: You know, it is -- it's way too provincial here.

Tracy: Where do you get that? From the movie channel. Look, I have a really good idea for you -- how about you fill your life with living, breathing human beings that aren't colorized.

Dillon: Mom, my life is fine, ok, and we're supposed to be a team.

Tracy: We are, and have you ever heard of the strategy divide and conquer? In this case, it means you stay here.

Dillon: You might need me.

Tracy: I'll call. Look, baby, don't give me a hard time about this. It's a done deal. Your grandfather has insisted that you stay here for your own good for a while.

Dillon: Oh, come on, Mom! Who cares what Edward thinks.

Tracy: Uh, in this case, I -- I happen to agree with him. I love you.

Dillon: I love you, too.

Tracy: Good. So maybe you'll start dressing a little better -- maybe not -- and you won't pierce anything or tattoo anything, and you'll make me proud while I'm gone. And as soon as my deal is done, I'll come back for you, I promise.

***************

Edward: Hey. Why haven't you left yet? I warned Tracy to clear out hours ago.

Dillon: She's gone.

Edward: Well, why aren't you with her?

Dillon: Because you wanted me to stay. Didn't you?

Edward: Oh, God. Reginald! Call the airport and stop Tracy’s plane!

Alan: What happened?

Edward: Get her back here!

Ned: Are you delusional?

Alan: We just got rid of her. Why do you want her back?

Edward: Are you blind? Look! She left something behind. Reginald!

*************

Edward: Oh, this is such classic Tracy. She doesn't get what she wants, so what does she do? She sneaks off and she leaves her excess baggage behind.

Ned: Maybe now is not the best time to discuss this.

Edward: There is nothing to discuss, Ned.

Skye: Oh, true. What was Tracy thinking? This family usually sells off its unwanted children.

A.J.: Not anymore. She's left you a nice heir du jour. You love those.

Edward: Look, I offered to take Dillon in as a child and raise him the way Lila and I raised Ned. No, Tracy refused, said that he was all she had and she would never part with him. So what does she do? She keeps him long enough to warp him for life and then she dumps him on our doorstep.

Alan: Well, maybe Tracy just wanted an excuse to come back here and blackmail us.

Dillon: Hey -- the excuse is leaving, ok? You guys don't have to deal with me. I won't be a problem or anything. I'll just call my mom's broker and find out where she's headed and I'll meet her there.

Edward: Well, you have your passport? I'll buy you a plane ticket, but you will not use the E.L.Q. jet.

Ned: Put a sock in it! Look, put this down. It's good that you're here, and grandfather will figure that out as soon as he calms down. We are your family. You are not to blame for our mother's behavior any more than I am. You're more than welcome here.

Edward: But think of the years that the kid has had to learn treachery and subterfuge at Tracy’s knee, hmm?

Alan: Well, everything that Tracy learned she learned it from you.

A.J.: Hey, and don't you pull any stunts like your mother.

Ned: If pulling stunts could get someone kicked out of this family, Junior, you would've been out of here a long time ago.

A.J.: Please, since when you are the concerned older brother, Ned?

Alan: Now, let me tell you something --

Ned: I've always been concerned. I gave you a job.