1) Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in late."

2) Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired from "clubbing" and watching TV too late on Saturday night.

3) We will have steel helmets for those who believe the roof will cave in if they show up for church.

4) Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the Church is too cold; and fans will be on hand for those who feel the Church is too hot.

5) We will have hearing aids for the parishioners who say, "The pastor doesn't talk loud enough." Cotton will be on hand for those who feelthe pastor talks too loud.

6) Scorecards will be available for those who wish to count the hypocrites.

7) We guarantee that some relatives will be present for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

8) There will be TV dinners available for those who claim they can't go to church and cook dinner too.

9) One section of the Church will have trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially on the golf course.

10) The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies to create an atmosphere for those who have never seen the Church without them!