31. I ran into Natalie Imbruglia, and she thought my report would make a great song. So I gave it to her.

30. The press secretary called and asked me to rework the presidents speech on economic affairs. Do I get extra credit?

29. My mom used it as a dryer sheet.

28. I'm stockpiling for the millennium.

27. I figured I'd learned everything I could about existentialism from last nights episode of Dawson's Creek.

26. I was ridding the world of evil spirits.

25. According to the acient art of feng shui, my desk was creating a negative energy space.....so I ditched it.

24. Oooh cramps... (only effective with male teachers).

23. Everything I ever learned, I learned it kindergarden.

22. Not only did I complete my paper, but it was so good that I submitted it to the new yorker for publication. Unfortunaletly, the original manuscript will not be returned for another several weeks. Sorry!

21. A radiation leak from our microwave mutaded my bread mold project, and the spores escaped into our backyard, and totally consumed Buttons, our prize Shar-Pei. My homework ate my dog!

20. My cat had an identity crisis and ate it.

19. The Y2K bug ate it.

18. My parents couldn't finish it so they took it to work to get some help.

17. With all the suffering in the third world, how can you even think of something so unsignificant as homework?

16. In the spirit of enviromental awareness, and for the sake of the trees, don't you think we should do without it?

15. My lawyer is advising me to respond "No comment" regarding the whereabouts of my homework at this point in time.

14. I'm still translating it from Klington

13. My little brother used my Encarta CD-ROM as a teething ring.

12. While researching the assingment on the Internet. I ended up taking my website for 50 million. So go ahead and give me an F!!!!

11. Some guy in line for Phantom Menace made an origami pod racer out of it.

10. My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finished.

9. My grandmother sat on my laptop.

8. I fed it to Jar Jar Binks, hoping it would kill him.

7. I'm afraid you'll have to define, "dog", "ate" and "homework".

6. Well, like, y'know I stayed, like, at Muffy's last night, and like, of course we did out homework first, y'know, and then we took a ride in her Daddy's new Lexus, and then, the homework, had to, like still be at her house, which is a very cool part of town, but then, after the movie, and then, after we, like, left Jason's house, we........hey! That's not fair! I haven't like, finnished telling you what happenen yet!

5. I have unresolved issues, reclusive tendencies, cannot relate to authority, and besides, it violates my constitutional rights.

4. My hard drive went all, like, whatever on me.

3. Sorry, I was in a Backstreet Boys induced coma, and couldn't think strait.

2. Yo quiero math extention.

1. Homework? Ha! I'm livin la vida loca!