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| CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ROBBERY (THIEF MAKER). Starring - Park Sang-Myun - So Ji-Sub - Song Seon-Mi. Director - Im Kyung-Soo. 2003. Mr Gohs’ life is turned upside down after a burglar breaks into his home. But unlike any Sheffield burglar who simply ransacks your house beats your dog and steals you porn collection, this burglar is much more subtle. Preferring instead just to have it on his toes with the TV remote and a bite of the beautifully prepared ‘Pigs’ ear sushi’. Bizarrely though Mrs Goh has a hereditary condition which has robbed her and her children of their tastebuds. No matter how good her recipes look they always end up tasting like a twenty dollar Soho whores knickers after a long hard Friday. (And I pay for this pleasure ;) Amazed by the strange taste sensation the burglar cannot shake the sensation from his mind and decides to burgle the house again, and again and again. Initially CLWR takes it time introducing you patiently to the family and it’s assailant eventually gaining such pace that you can’t wait for the burglar to try once more to gain access to the seemingly impenetrable fortress. The mind games between the thief and Goh are paramount as Goh goes to unimaginable lengths to protect his family. On the flipside however the thief also goes through a painstaking process to gain entry (fnar fnar) including producing a computer game based on rear entry ;) The only other film I could liken CLWR to is the groundbreaking ‘Home alone’ trilogy? You know the ones, where that gifted Macauly CUNTkin kid in. Yes I know they are aimed at kids but it is this kind of drivel that has left my mind in such turmoil when confronted with anything Hollywood. What is worse then, is you kind of expect this movie to be remade by someone like Brett Ratner with Jackie Chan as Mr. Goh and Chris Tucker as the thief. Sounds credible doesn’t it? Now you understand how fucking scary Hollywood is. Anyway I digress, fortunately CLWR is nothing like the aforementioned piles of monkey piss and more like beautifully scented angels’ urine. Heavenly. From the beginning you are drawn in gradually into a wonderfully scripted and captivating game of cat and mouse. This is such an accessible movie that I can whole-heartedly recommend this to all. Get a big bucket of popcorn in unplug the phone and have a warm family moment. I can’t believe I am being so nice, but that is what this film is, nice. With a capital N. No one gets hurt, everything works out well and there are no guns. Hard to find a movie of this ilk these days and one not to pass-over just because no one gets their brains dashed in glorious Technicolor over the nearest crazy angled camera lens. 9*********stars. |
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