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| CHINESE ODYSSEY 2002. Starring - Faye Wong - Tony Leung - Zhao Wei - Chang Chen. Director - Jeff Lau. The royal siblings decide once again to make their escape from the palace, unfortunately the emperor is caught before getting anywhere. However his sister the Princess Wu Shuang has better luck and manages to flee to Meilong town. Soon after she arrives the Princess has her pocket picked and finds her self looking for food… any food. She stumbles across the town bully Li Yilong who is desperately trying to find a mate for his sister Phoenix. Unable to differentiate between male and female he sets about pairing up the two and treats the Princess for a meal at their restaurant. Before the night ends Phoenix has fallen for the traveller but problems arise when Li Yilong also finds himself strangely attracted to this man? Firstly let me say that this movie is in no way connected to the Stephen Chow movies that were so popular a few years back. In fact Chinese odyssey 2002 is a romantic comedy that is quite frankly, about as funny as having your pubic hairs trimmed by an effeminate Scottish goat herder… with a gangrenous infected forefinger. In fact come to think of it this is quite a unique idea and one given the right kind of backing could be a blockbuster to rival the mightiest Hollywood efforts. I mean look at those fucking Turtle movies, if there is a market for those shitty little green things then surely a limping, ginger, kilt wearing goat lover would be a massive hit, the tag line could be ‘Kilt of pleasure’. I will be copyrighting this idea later so please all you wannabe scriptwriters, hands off! Anyway the story surrounds the relationships between two pairs of siblings each with their own desires to find love. Things aren’t that simple though as both the women insist on dressing like men. Why? Your guess is as good as mine; maybe they thought that they could attract more men by dressing as men, especially the ginger haired goat herder types. This is what the director deems a credible storyline. How zany is that, women dressed as men? Bloody hell that is incredible, this guy deserves an Oscar for his inspirational humour overdrive. It was a good job these women sported breasts and lipstick or I would never have known. Till the day I die I will never understand why this woman/man crossdressing thing is so popular in Asian cinema. Just what the hell are they drinking over there? The movie is ever so slightly redeemed by the appearance of the ever-charismatic Roy Cheung as Matchless thousand hand Zuo Lengchan; his only desire is to avenge his beaten brother at the hands of the ladyboy Phoenix. Trust me when I say slightly redeemed as it is only my strange affinity with Roy Cheung that has salvaged this movie any stars at all. Cheung’s actual character here is a blatant rip off of Billy Chow’s character in the magnificent Tai Chi 2. Roy is great, Roy is good, Roy is king of the neighbourhood… erm sorry about that. Uncannily everything works out ok in the end, the boys get the girls, the actors/actresses manage to find more work, Jeff Lau gets paid and the movie house earns shit loads of money from an audience believing this movie would be fun. Chinese odyssey 2002 captivated me from the beginning to the end with its complex and intriguing storyline, I really can’t wait for a sequel and am counting the seconds. I have even made a kind of Chinese odyssey advent calendar in anticipation of this wondrous event. Just in case you can’t quite tell, I am being sarcastic, this movie bored the shit out of me and I personally cannot believe that this trash was ever released. I really can’t see who this movie is aimed at either. Cross dressing females? Homosexual males? Goat herders? Who knows, in fact for that matter who cares? It really is that bad. 2**stars. |
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